Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of its characters.
A/N: I just finished rewatching Season 4 Episode 2 and I felt like it was rather unfinished. So here's a bit of introspection from Arthur's point of view into what happened right after Lancelot stepped through the veil. This will probably be a two-parter. Please read and review!
I could have sworn I heard someone weeping. My first thought when I regained consciousness was simple: Ow. The back of my head felt like it had been smashed in, and I could hardly make sense of where I was, what I was supposed to be doing, or even why I was injured. Something important had happened. If only I could remember what it was.
There was that sound again. A moan of pain echoed in my ears, too loud for the wretched pain in my head. Who was crying? Why? Had someone died?
Then, I felt a rush of terror as I realized what had happened.
I had gone through the veil- I had passed into the spirit world. Dead. Funny, I didn't think you were supposed to feel pain when you were dead. Now that I thought about it, I could feel my head turn against a cold, stone surface...my body was very real. I tried to move my fingertips just to see for sure...
I could move. I could feel, and so far I could hear, if the cries of misery were anything to go by. Was I alive? How could I be? I had meant to sacrifice myself, hadn't I? I peeled my eyelids back.
I was lying on the cobbled floor of some ruined castle it seemed. There was someone else lying near me. Was it...Gwaine? The man was sprawled out, unaware...was he even alive? I struggled to pick myself up. I had to see if he still breathed, if he still had a pulse. With the movement, I groaned in agony. I tried to clutch a hand to my burning skull.
How had this happened? I was supposed to be the one to die, I had planned to give my life, regardless what Merlin or anyone else said about it and-
Merlin.
Suddenly panic rose in me as I recalled Merlin's words:
"I will take your place."
Everything in me cried out in denial. Not Merlin. There was no way that idiotic, senseless, brave and stupid fool was gone...He couldn't be...
This time as I struggled to get up, to search out the boy and make sure he was alright- this time I groaned not only in pain but in frustration and grief. The sound must have been louder than I had thought, for suddenly, I heard the weeping that had carried on these past few moments stop. It cut off harshly, with an intake of breath, as if the source had realized they were no longer alone.
I swerved around where I sat, ceasing to try and pull myself up as my eyes met with the source of the cries.
Merlin.
My heart swelled with relief, and I almost smiled- the idiot was alive! But then I noticed several things at once. Merlin curled in on himself almost painfully tight; his hands bore white knuckles as they clutched desperately to his knees, pulling them in towards his chest. His face was a heartbreaking sight. His high cheekbones were bathed in salty tears- his eyes raw and red from sobbing- and his mouth opened to gulp in hard breaths, as though he could hardly contain his grief. But the worst of all was the look of surprise he wore, that quickly changed to overwhelming pain and guilt for the fact I had seen him that way.
"Merlin?" I called to him, softly. I forced myself to my feet and staggered towards him. "Merlin, what happened?"
The servant only shook his head and looked down to his feet, beginning to renew his sobs.
"Merlin, tell me!" I said, losing some of my gentleness. Though I wouldn't admit it, he was scaring me. I crouched down before him. "Tell me."
It had the tone of an order, which Merlin heard, for he looked up to meet my eyes.
"Lancelot is dead. He went through the veil."
The words were plain and hard. He said it blandly, as if to try and prevent his emotion from overwhelming him once more.
I looked away. I looked in the direction the veil had been when we arrived. Now there was only emptiness.
Lancelot was dead.