Hi! So this is my first fan fiction I've ever written so I thank you in advance for reading, and I hope you enjoy it and please review it. I'm going to update soon but I have to seriously study so if you'd like to read more please review so I can know whether or not to continue.

I don't own South Park so don't sue me.

Craig's POV the whole way through

So this really what I wasn't expecting of my life. Even though I never had a clear vision of what I wanted to do. I guess I just expected that everything would just fit into place. I'm still waiting for that day.

But I'm not old enough to be worrying about what I want to do in my life just yet, even though I feel as if I ruined my whole life. And probably have.

My name is Craig Tucker; I am 15 and just told one of my closest friends I liked him. (Oh no I think he might just be a fucking homosexual!) Yes the guy I like is a guy. Get over your self.

You'd better not be laughing your asses off like some other people I know. I mightn't look and act like a total fag but somehow my friends managed to figure it out before I told them.

I just randomly told them over lunch. It wasn't as awkward as I expected it to be. They didn't mind really and already guessed it but didn't want to say anything. You see I am the unofficial leader of our little 'gang'. I'm not being a total Cartman it's true.

I don't mind though, it was mainly when we were kids and I was our gang's boss. I didn't really care much but for some reason they all admired or at least followed me around all the time.

I think it was just that I'm always brutally honest with people and my lack of emotion when it comes to boring situations.

Some girls say I have no heart. (Only because I broke theirs by rejecting them)

I never really knew I was fully gay, until puberty came and porn came into my life. So I became gay not just bi.

But I told my mum and dad and they were cool I guess. It's hard to tell if they approve, but at least their tolerant. They said they still love me and I act straight anyway so they wouldn't have known.

(My friends knew I was gay and my parents didn't, this sums up my family perfectly)

But I came out to my gang. It was lunch as I said, and we were down by our wall. It's on of the back walls of our school. We have several; it's near the racetrack, that one.

We wanted our own space so we could hang out but all the emo-smoker-bitches hogged all the best bits. My mum expected me of smoking because one day I found her looking in my bag and room.

I know she was looking for something serious as the playboy was tossed aside on the floor. I don't know why people always think me as a 'bad-boy'.

Seriously just because I don't do my homework for teachers that are assholes doesn't mean I'm going to start a on a drug craze anytime soon.

Some people think I do drugs and smoke, I asked Token who said it was because I acted like a dick all the time and just have that ' aura' about you.

If you are wondering yes, I did hit him.

So yes my friends include, Clyde, Token, Kevin, and Tweek. Although Kevin is in another class, and I don't think Tweek will want to be friends with me after that.

Yes Tweek is the one I had a crush on. HAVE a crush on…

So in our gang we all have our place, Clyde is the dumb one that laughs at our jokes and we laugh his idiocy. Token is the normal one who is really smart when it comes to thing like knowing if you're gay or not. Also he's rich… That is also a bonus. He also had another member named Jimmy but he moved to a school for cripples, yeah he's a cripple but he's really funny and helped us get the chicks. (I really didn't want that though but never said it)

Kevin is the nerdy Asian one who is so awkwardly funny. He and Clyde are best friends.

Clyde once was very best friends with Token but since Token got his first real girlfriend Clyde became good friends with Kevin.

Tweek is the… well I don't know he is the one that freaks out about things. Doesn't mean he isn't a blast he can be jittery. He has a coffee addiction and ADD. He once had a helper lady in school but he thought she stalked him.

I am the stoic one apparently. I just learned that word yesterday. I think it means quiet or something… Yeah anyway

I first realised that I like Tweek a while ago, like a LONG while ago maybe almost a year now.

I felt stupid for so long for not telling him. Just for fear of being rejected and well, it's sounds so cliché but loosing my friend.

Seriously the gang would be lost without him, we were fucking depressed when Kevin moved class when we started freshman year. He has other friends but we're his best friends, if we weren't we'd beat his Asian ass.

Our gang has many relationships. The name we all 'hate but date' is Bebe Evens. She always breaks up with her bf Connor, some random pussy. But anyway they're like Ross and Rachael (Yes I watch friends so? That shit is fucking funny Fuck you!)

All of us have dated Bebe. Token the longest, I dated her for 2 weeks but Token lasted for nearly 3 months! She can't be THAT good of a shag? When we dated I couldn't get her away long enough. When we kissed it was only confirmation to myself I was gay.

This is unrelated but when I hate it when someone calls you gay if you did something stupid. I say it because people will suspect something if I don't. That's what happened with the one French kid. Everyone called him queer before he died, people said he died by Zuthulu I don't remember.

No one really does. Cartman sometimes brings up the Coon sometimes.

What a Coon is I've no idea I just assumed it was his weird porn collection and when I said this, he told me to fuck myself. (He got the usual finger)

But yes I have had only two or three girlfriends only because the other guys were being dicks so I just did it to shut them up. They were Mindy, Bebe, Red and that one girl I can't even remember her name.

But um so when I told Tweek yes that again, but when I told him he was, very. He was very about-to-have-a-heart-attack-at-any-moment-now sort of way.

I told him by text but I could tell. I took around a half an hour for him to reply. At first I thought he just didn't want to, then that he was so shocked he couldn't. The worst thought I had was that he died from a heart attack, or at least fainted. (I learned later he did)

His reply was 'Dude that's not cool you scared me' I said then ' No dude I'm serious I'm not doing this to scare you. I like you, as more than a friend'

It took half a Friday until I got a text from him in reply. DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I FUCKING WAS? Seriously even if I didn't have a crush on him if he didn't answer my texts I'd run to his house to see who held him hostage.

Any person who doesn't reply to my texts, another doesn't get to live to see another Craig Tucker middle finger.

But much later that day he finally said something… Something that I don't know broke my heart or gave me hope,

Now I tried to translate this as best I could into something readable. He took way too long to text us back so Token decided to teach him text language... Not a good idea.

" look dude, I don't know. I mean if you're serious then I'm going too think things over for a while. I'll tell you when I've decided what to do, coz I don't know what to do man. I won't tell Token and the others 4 now anyway. You're 1of my BESTEST FRIENDS! & I don't know why you'd want 2 ruin dat. I'm still deciding what's going to happen between us, but I I can't imagine u out of my life. I'm straight Craig or least I think I am. I'm sorry man truly. I'll text you Ok? 'Tweek"

And that I look at it again; it gives me less and less hope. No hope.

I don't blame him for wanting to sort things out, and I don't blame him for wanting to avoid me. But come on! It's Sunday! School's back tomorrow and people will start to notice if we avoid each other.

Don't ask me to face him I can barley think about him. For each time I do I either want to scream curse words at him or cry at his feet for him. This is just pathetic. But this is how I feel. Ironic that I'm such a dick to and yet I'm so fucked up inside.

I've no idea what will happen tomorrow. Today can't last and it's half 12 now, a few more hours until life becomes shit.

Thank you for reading! I'll add another chapter in a week or so.

I tried making him in character but I rambled on and on, sorry for that.

Also I changed the text so it's easier to read sorry it was so hard to read at first.