(This story was redone, there were many minor changes made, mainly fixing spelling mistakes, better chapter separation, and better writing overall. Since the chapters are longer, there are less of them now, so I had to delete the "leftover" ones, sorry about that.)
Please read author's note: This is a story I put together from a bunch of ideas that were floating in my mind for a long time, but it wasn't written with the purpose of sharing, and I was very hesitant to share it for a number of reasons. I'm mainly posting it because a friend encouraged me to, so here goes. Please be advised that this story contains graphic violence, gore, rape, attempted rape and freaky 'ghost' sex. Don't read if those things bother you too much. Also, I've written very little in my life, so sorry if this is bad. But please do let me know what you think about it.
One last thing, the story does contain some paranormal elements, I tried to keep things as logical as possible to a certain extent but not everything is 100% like in the canon of the game, just so you know not to read if you don't like that aspect.
Proofreading done by SultryGamer/Ralleia on fanfiction dot net and ao3 respectively.
Conspiracy theories. She loved them. From assassinations to aliens to inside jobs, she was addicted to them. Alyssa didn't believe all of them, naturally, but she definitely enjoyed reading and researching them, even more so after a number of them were unveiled to be truthful.
As fascinating as she found them, there were definitely some she hoped were not true, especially the Murkoff Corporation conspiracy theories. The Murkoff Corp had reopened the abandoned Mount Massive Asylum for the criminally insane some years ago, under the guise of charity. The whole official story stank of deceit and concealed morbid motive, especially considering Murkoff's reputation as greedy manipulative corporate thugs who didn't hesitate using unethical tactics to meet their goals.
Reports of heinous and illegal human experiments on the asylum's patients directed by Murkoff employees reached the news a few times, but never the big websites or on TV, it was always small local places, regardless of how shocking the allegations and the supposed evidence was. The fact that many of Murkoff's employees were not allowed contact with their families and friends during their employment and signed some of the strictest non-disclosure agreements with the harshest penalties were more red flags that people discussed but were unable to do anything about.
During one lonely bored night of browsing the web, Alyssa gathered some of her courage, and after double checking the black tape on her webcam and laptop microphone, she followed a few questionable links into the mostly uncharted territory known as the deep web. While she didn't know a lot about online security, she knew just enough to protect herself to a certain extent. Still, she didn't like spending time on the deep web and generally avoided it, as there were far too many shady individuals and businesses there for her liking, and her computer and webcam were far from hack-proof.
Avoiding the riskier clicks, she finally found what she was looking for, the leaked hidden camera footage taken by a Murkoff employee whose conscience had finally gotten to him, and which she herself had been postponing to watch. She mentally prepared herself and hoped it was going to be substantial evidence that could be used against the corporation through the legal system, although she didn't have high hopes for that, since if it was indeed solid material able to be used in court and expose them, she surely would have heard about it on the news.
Due to her hobby, she had watched a number of disturbing videos and read some horrific reports that made sleep difficult at times, but nothing too mentally scarring just yet, so she hoped this wasn't going to be too unsettling to witness either. Taking a deep breath, she hesitantly clicked the play button; the footage wasn't high definition, she expected so, considering the very small and concealed nature of the camera used, but it was discernible.
The video was a three minute long compilation of what appeared to be mental patients being treated in less than humane manners inside what strongly resembled the Mount Massive Asylum. Their physical state already raised concerns, there were many visible scars, large and jagged, what looked like unhealed exposed wounds, some infected, bruises and old dirty bloody bandages, she thought she even saw some missing teeth. Some of the patients were filmed acting bizarrely, as if they had been heavily drugged to the point of losing awareness and understanding of their surroundings and situation.
The behavior of the nurses and doctors was something else she found unsettling, the medical personnel were acting as if they were training and tending to animals, animals that they hated, cared nothing for the wellbeing of, and only wanted answers from them, answers that they were unable to give.
Alyssa swallowed and shook her head lightly. Reading the articles she found associated with the video, she learned that the footage had been sent to the police and used in court not long ago, but while it rattled Murkoff's public reputation even more and added fuel to the conspiracy theory fire, their brilliant lawyers and connections had made short work of the trial, making excuses veiled as reasonable explanations, attempting to convince the judge that the events didn't even take place inside Mount Massive, and some people even thought the judge and jury were bribed or threatened. She knew better than to rule that out.
"How do you bastards sleep at night…" she whispered to herself and turned her chair away from the computer. She hated this. She always hated seeing people or animals being abused while no one could help, but it seemed so much worse to her when the abused were mentally ill people, vulnerable and unable to defend themselves.
It's easy to forget it's not a normal asylum… Mount Massive is for the criminally insane… The people in there have committed crimes, but they're mentally ill, it doesn't mean they should serve as lab rats and be abused while the rest of the world either doesn't have a clue or couldn't care less. No one deserves that…
Sometimes she wondered if she was too soft for her own good, and it was frustrating, sometimes she wished she could forget about it all and carry on with her life like everybody else, but something had been nagging at her conscience for too long. She had debated with herself whether or not she should investigate Mount Massive Asylum in person for several months now, every leak and rumor about the horrors of that place was another push in that direction, but she couldn't lie to herself, the truth was that even the mere thought of approaching the asylum frightened her.
From her research, she was well aware of how tenacious and ruthless corporations can be when pursuing not just whistleblowers, but also anyone who feels like snooping around where they don't belong; the bigger and richer the corporation, the more dangerous and ruthless it was, and Murkoff was massive, filthy rich, powerful and resourceful, with an international reach, she knew they would not shy away from punishing not only the offending person, but also their family and friends as well, if they deemed it a necessary extra mile to drive home their message.
Alyssa didn't currently live with her family, she had recently moved to their fairly small, moderately lavish vacation home, not due to any family drama, she simply preferred to have some extra space to herself for her hobbies and studies. The silence and privacy were a big plus she couldn't deny. Even so, she didn't doubt for a second that if she did anything stupid, Murkoff would be able to track her down and everyone that she was connected to.
She let out a long thoughtful sigh and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water, her thoughts automatically reaching to her old camcorder for what felt like the thousandth time that week.
My camera.. I really could.. but what about.. No, again, I would have to make an effort to never show my face, or better yet, any part of my body on film.. And my voice, even the public voice identification technology is pretty advanced nowadays, they must have some really clever stuff in private, I would have to either not make a sound or heavily alter my voice in post-processing or cut the sound out… …This camcorder is pretty old though, couldn't I use my.. wait, my phone, have I lost my mind? That would be so much easier to track..
She shook her head lightly and took a few gulps of water, she didn't want to think about this again, she was so tired of mentally fighting herself and debating it in her head and making plans for so long only to back down over and over, but her mind was doing it almost by itself lately, returning to making plans whenever it was left idle. Her retreat every time only added to the frustration, yet it was nothing compared to the guilt that was eating her up inside, she couldn't help but wonder how many people were tortured and killed in cruel human experiments while she sat on her rear trying to talk herself into doing something about it, but ultimately, remained too afraid to even try.
But why me?! Why does it have to be me, god dammit, why isn't anyone else doing something about this, it's not like no one knows where the Asylum is or anything! … Tsk, other people probably tried and were silenced long ago, probably decomposing in a ditch somewhere by now.. dammit! She slammed the glass on the white marble kitchen counter in frustration and irritation, not hard enough to break. I don't even have a firearm permit… …I probably wouldn't be able to shoot someone anyway, but it would definitely come in handy for intimidation to keep danger away.. Pepper spray and my taser are worth something though, right?
Hesitantly returning to her bedroom, she opened the closet door, and there it was, on the shelf sat the old camcorder that was almost haunting her, staring her in the face, almost teasing her to pick it up and go collect some evidence.
Easier for you, you don't have a family and life you're risking, so stop taunting me you little piece of…
She frowned and put an end to her absurd thoughts directed at an inanimate object, and looked away to a semi-open drawer, which, upon pulling it all the way open, revealed a taser gun in a black leather holster at the very back of the drawer.
If I miss with you, I'm probably in even bigger trouble than whatever I was in before shooting… Opposite of the taser gun sat a small can of pepper spray with a metal ring attached to the top, her hands reached for both items and placed them up on the shelf next to the camcorder. Another drawer was shuffled through and she retrieved some cartridges for the taser gun, and a few of the best camera batteries she could find for the camcorder.
Alyssa stared at the equipment thoughtfully, only to then sigh softly and walk to the tall mirror next to the door. Looking at her reflection only made her resolve weaken, while she was thin, she was only slightly athletic, she never took any sort of self-defense classes, and the only exercise she ever enjoyed was cycling and running. Regrets were starting to make their presence painfully noticeable in her mind more than ever, she told herself she could be a lot better prepared for this, but she wasn't, and it was too late to do anything about it.
Wait a second!She rushed to the camcorder, and her hand froze only centimeters from it, it was a bit dusty, yet not the reason for her hesitation. She hadn't used the device since her favorite aunt's wedding a few years ago, the woman who loved her like a daughter and who was like a second mother to her, and the thought of going from one of the best events in her life to potentially the worst, or even last, sent a few chills down her spine. She shuddered lightly and swallowed, but pushed away her feelings and quickly grabbed the device, slid a new battery into its slot, pressed a button and looked through the viewfinder. To her chagrin, it worked, the camcorder indeed still had a working nightvision mode.
Dammit! She slammed the camera back on the shelf, not too hard, but for a second the thought crossed her mind that she had just accidentally broken it. In a way, she hoped she did, at least subconsciously, but she had no such luck, as the device was quite sturdier than it appeared.
Stepping over to her wardrobe, she started digging for a leather belt, and upon finding it, she took the taser gun with its holster and clipped it to the belt, then fetched a knife from the kitchen, poked a hole through the leather and attached the pepper spray can to it using the key ring.
Experimentally, she placed the belt around her waist and looked in the mirror.
Well.. theoretically, it's not too shabby. In practice, however, it can very well be a god-damn disaster…She gently tossed the whole contraption back into the closet, closed the door and leaned her back against it.
What am I doing?.. Stop messing around, you're not fooling anyone, you're not going to save anyone, you go in there and you're dead meat. She glanced out the window, it was already pitch black, as time flew once again with her internal debates.
Enough of this madness, I need to get some sleep.After shutting down her laptop, locking all the doors and windows, she pulled all the blinds and curtains, remaining unable to ignore the growing sense of paranoia in her mind, but tried to push it aside as much as she could, then undressed and went to bed. As she expected, sleep came no sooner than after a full hour of twisting and turning, her thoughts even more restless than her.
"Dr. Hamilton, please report to O.R. 9" a bored-sounding female voice was heard on the speaker.
"Duty calls, eh?" The male doctor in front of her spoke sarcastically, and the doctor rolled her eyes with a smirk
"I suppose, but let's continue later, it does seem promising." She took a few steps back as her coworker turned and left
"Aye aye, doc." With a mildly hurried gait, she began walking down the brightly lit corridor, took a couple of turns, and ignored the security guards' greetings as she stepped into the operating theater.
"What is it now?" She asked in a clearly irritated and impatient tone, snapped her rubber gloves on and walked towards the center of the operating theater.
On the table laid a man, pale, dangerously underweight, and seemingly unconscious, his torso covered in incision marks, some old and scarred, some new and unhealed, several tubes and wires connected to his chest, arms and scalp.
"We can't get a response doctor, we only administered a low dose of chemical restraints and stage 2 hormones, but his blood pressure keeps dropping!" another doctor said as a couple of nurses were rushing through the room.
"Goddammit, don't lose another one, you idiots, these assholes don't grow on trees!" Dr. Hamilton shouted and grabbed a large syringe. "Give me a purge, now!" She signaled towards the other doctor and harshly jammed the needle into the unconscious man's bicep vein; her colleague brought a few bags of blood and connected them to the machine next to the patient while Dr. Hamilton cursed under her breath and paced around impatiently, her disgust palpable to everyone in the room.
Less than a minute later, the male doctor spoke frantically, "Pressure's low and keeps dropping, vital functions going, it's not working doctor!"
Now she was furious.
"Defibrillator, now! And speed up the transfer, if anything bursts again, stitch it up and don't complain." She gestured towards one of the nurses, then stepped back to the table and grabbed the device from the nurse's hands, prepared it and slammed it on the patient's chest, whose body jerked violently.
"No response, again!" The other doctor said while looking at the flat line displayed on the electrocardiograph, so she brought the electrical pads back down on the patient's chest. Nothing.
Suddenly, Alyssa's vision of the scene she had been watching from a disembodied position began fading, her hearing muffled as well, and before she knew it, her whole experience became blank. She could not see, hear, or feel anything, but she was still aware of the nothingness, she floated in pure darkness for what felt like a few minutes, confused, yet strangely at peace.
"Am I… dead?" Her hesitant voice echoed in the seemingly endless emptiness, receiving no answer for what felt like another long minute. Then, gradually, she began hearing snippets of sound, what resembled mumbling that she couldn't discern. She waited curiously and focused on her hearing, until she managed to make out the words "Come on you worthless bastard." It was muffled, but she understood.
She couldn't have been less prepared for the next thing she felt, a piercing, intense pain, as electricity coursed through her body, a body she now realized didn't belong to her, and this body moved on its own with incredible, almost inhuman speed. Before she knew it, the body she appeared to inhabit had punched someone in the side of the head, and it felt like the fist was a brick shot out of a canon. As the other person fell to the floor, she heard the man who threw the punch shout "No more nightmares!" and within moments, the room fell into chaos.
The body she felt like a visitor in began screaming hysterically and dragging the tubes and machines around him down in a fit of rage as he lunged towards the other doctor in the room and the nurses screamed for security. "No more doctors, no more machines, no more pain!" The patient screamed and wrestled the other doctor to the ground trying to punch him but the man shielded his face with his arms as best he could.
It was an inexplicable sensation, something she never even thought possible, she could feel the man's deep desperation and long sustained suffering as he spoke, she could feel the agony in his very soul, she could feel the space around her, as if it was filled with the anguish of hundreds of tormented souls. And it terrified her to the bone.
As haunting as it was, she didn't have more time to further immerse herself, as only seconds later, three security guards rushed through the doors and pushed the patient off the doctor, backing him into a corner.
Immediately, she then felt physical pain, an amount of pain she'd never even came close to feeling before shocked her system as they began punching, kicking and beating the man with their nightsticks relentlessly. She felt ribs shattering, skin and stitches breaking and bleeding, even teeth breaking and falling, it felt like hours until they had finally stopped and took a step back, but the pain hadn't, as she felt like she was about to die from blunt trauma. The battered man only cowered in the corner and hugged his knees to his chest, while her heart felt like it couldn't take much more when she listened to him start sobbing and mumbling prayers for freedom and wishes of going home.
As she began waking up, Alyssa was gradually able to distinguish her own sobbing from the man's in the dream, she gritted her teeth and shut her wet eyes tightly.
Not again… Why?.. She squeezed her fist around her blanket and pulled the material to her face to wipe her tears.
I'm doing it to myself, aren't I? If I wouldn't think about this so much I wouldn't have nightmares like this! You idiot! She berated herself and sat up on the side of her bed, trying to shake away the overwhelming intensity of the feelings she'd just experienced.
Slowly stepping over to the mirror, she sniffled and wiped her tears with the back of her hands, lowered her head and, placing a hand on her chest, she felt how her heart was still thumping heavily, and figuratively hurting, as if the trauma from her dream was a real experience. Dreams or no dreams, something inside her kept insisting that the horrors she goes through in her nightmares are really happening out there, likely even more severe, and perhaps to hundreds of people.
Her haunting dreams and hunches were just a small part of it, however, as the ever-increasing pile of leaks and allegations related to Murkoff's secret experiments begged to not be ignored anymore. Raising her head with a slight tremble, she glanced deep into her own amber eyes and swallowed, her pained and teary expression slowly but surely changing into a somewhat determined frown.
To hell with this!
A part of her insisted that her decision was rash and emerging from a place of emotion, not reason, yet she did her best to ignore that part, took a few large steps to her wardrobe and began searching. On the bed landed a pair of shorts, a pink sports tank top, a jacket, and a pair of black combat boots with a hidden knife and pocket at the side.
As she began putting everything on, her rational mind screamed at her to stop, but she kept trying to explain it away.
I don't care even if it was just a random meaningless dream, I don't, i-it was the last straw! I either do this or I move to Antarctica or something so I never ever have to hear and worry about this ever again! After she pocketed her wallet and put her long, light brown loose curls in a bun, she picked up the belt with the taser and pepper spray she put together the previous day and buckled it around her waist.
A loud ringing went off from her bed, she reached for the phone, turned off the alarm and hastily made her bed. The phone was yet another dilemma. She would have preferred to not take it with her at all due to the risks of being tracked, but the idea of leaving behind her phone frightened her, she would've rather be able to call the police if things went really wrong and gladly be arrested for trespassing, at least that way she would be safe in police custody, and as for her camera, if she had managed to find incriminating evidence on Murkoff, even better, if not, then at least she'd gotten out safely.
A pang of guilt crossed her mind as she looked at her phone.
I should call mom… while I still can. It might be the last… no. She didn't even want to consider it. Not that she didn't know it was a possibility, she was well aware it was a massive risk and in the worst case scenario, it was likely that she wouldn't see her family again for a long time, if ever.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, her fingers searched through the phone for her mother's number with a slight nervous tremble. She called the number, and let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding while listening to the soft ringing on the device. After what felt like minutes, she finally heard the cheerful voice of one of the most important people in her life, and it was bitter-sweet.
"Hey honey! I was just thinking of calling you."
"Yeah? Funny, I just wanted to ask what's up with you guys. How are dad and Josh?" she asked her mother with a forced carefree tone of voice. Her 16 year old brother was being a brat around her more often than not, but she knew that was how most teens his age were and she loved him regardless, even though she didn't always show it.
"They're great! A bit too great, dad just bought an even bigger TV and now they're both hogging it with their silly loud video games." her mother laughed, and Alyssa did her best fake chuckle, trying hard to not make it into an obvious nervous laughter.
"Alyssa, is everything alright with you honey? You sound a bit tense." She nearly choked, wondering if her acting was that bad, even on the phone.
"Oh I'm fine! I just read some weird news on the computer that made me think." she replied as casually as she could.
"Are you talking about that silly conspiracy stuff again? Didn't you say you were going to stop reading that crap? Honey, I told you it's bad for your health." the kindness in her mother's voice could not fully mask the woman's exasperation.
"I know, I know, I can quit whenever I want!" she laughed more to release tension than out of amusement. "But anyway, I'm glad you guys are great, I gotta go do some studying, I'll talk to you later." the last words were the heaviest to speak, and she kept pushing away the "I hope" that her mind wanted to add.
"Well alright, talk to you later honey, and come visit soon! It's been almost 6 months!"
"I-I will, sure, good idea, say hi to dad and Josh for me!" After her mother said her goodbyes, she placed her phone in her pants pocket and couldn't help her forehead from falling into her hand as she held back tears.
I don't like to do this but.. please, if there's any sort of divine power out there, please don't let this be the last time I talk to her, please..
The laptop on her desk beeped and began whirring gently, waking up from its own sleep as it was programmed to do each morning and snapped her from her faithless prayers. She raised her head and sat at the desk, deciding to spend some time doing some final research into Murkoff and hoping she might find any information on what she could expect from trespassing through a mental asylum.
Murkoff's own research inside the asylum was top secret in and of itself, so there wasn't much she could look into apart from educated guesses, speculations and leaks, most of which were far from guaranteed to be accurate. Much to her chagrin, she found little useful information and even less that she hadn't read before, but she refused to give up just yet.
Eventually, she was interrupted by the growling of her own stomach, so she took a break and ate a quick and anxious lunch, feeling like she had to force the food down. Afterwards, she took a shower, brushed her teeth, then applied some makeup.
Ready to finish up and leave, she picked up her favorite perfume, but with countless worries rushing through her head, her grasp slipped and the delicate bottle fragmented on the floor. She immediately cursed under her breath and quickly began to gather up the glass pieces, one by one, in her hand, the liquid leaking off of them, coating her skin with the last of its pleasant aroma. She sighed with a hint of sadness, it was a rare foreign brand that her mother gifted to her and it smelled divine, now the last scent of it she'll ever have was on the floor and stuck to her palm, only to dissipate forever with the very next bath.
After she returned to her search, a couple hours later she was starting to consider that she was stalling for time, even subconsciously if not on purpose. Shooting a glance to the clock, she saw it was nearly 4 pm.
Christ, when did time fly so fast? Probably when I insisted I reread crap I read months ago for god knows what reasons. I should go now, I've sat around reading and thinking for far too long these past months.
The moment she stood up and took the first steps, her legs already felt like jelly. It added to her frustration and concern, but she deliberately tensed her muscles to stabilize herself and made an effort to walk faster after grabbing the dreaded camcorder along with the batteries and ammo for the stun gun, placing them in her pocket, then heading for the kitchen.
The keys on the counter top shimmered in the sunlight, catching her attention. Without even thinking about it because she knew she would hesitate again, she grabbed them, unlocked the front door, left the house and locked the door behind her.
Almost on autopilot, her body walked to the dark grey Audi A5 in front of the garage, unlocked the door, sat in the driver's seat and slammed the door behind her. With a slightly trembling hand, she placed the camcorder on the passenger's seat, then gripped the steering wheel with both hands and took a deep breath.
Alright. We're doing this. Too late to back down now.
After twisting the key in the ignition, the engine roared awake immediately, erasing her subconscious hopes of an external cause preventing her from reaching the asylum. As she gently pressed the pedal, she couldn't help the sinking feeling growing in the pit of her stomach, this definitely felt like a mistake that could cost her everything.
I said it's too late to back down, dammit! She scolded herself and pressed the pedal harder as she reached the road, making an effort to focus most of her attention on it and away from the urges to return home.