Veronica limped through the doorway of her apartment at the end of what had turned out to be one of the worst days of her life. She griped the frame of the door as the room spun before her. The left side of her face was covered in a large purple bruise, and her eye had begun to swell. She was bleeding slightly from a gash on her forehead. All in all, she looked like she had gone three rounds with Mike Tyson.
Through the pain that was clouding her mind, Veronica tried to make sense of the nights' events. It was only now sinking in that she had done it. She had finally caught the murderer, and he was going to pay.
Her mother appeared in front of her, interrupting her thoughts. Lianne was concerned. She wanted to know what had happened, where Keith was. All of this barely registered with Veronica. Her thoughts now lay on the past afternoon, and the water bottle filled with vodka. It had been a shocking moment to discover that her mom was still drinking. The realization had been as bitter as the drink in her hand. She had trusted her, spent her college money to help her, bring her home. It was too much for Veronica to handle. It would be too much for her father to have to deal with when he returned from the hospital. So Veronica did what she had to do to survive, like she always did. She told her mother to leave. And just like that, her dreams of life returning to normal were gone.
As she walked into her bedroom, the door slamming shut behind her, her thoughts returned to the past day. None of the events were what Veronica had expected. Things weren't turning out the way they were supposed to. 'Get a grip Mars! You didn't really expect things to return to the fluffy cotton candy version of life, of the pre-Lily's death era, did you?' The truth was, she had. Solve the crime, get revenge that would bring her mom home, bring Lily back. That's what it had been all about. But Lily wasn't coming back, ever. And that realization hurt more than any of Aaron's blows ever had.
Veronica sank down on to her bed. She was too exhausted to even cry. She soon fell into a restless sleep.
She was floating on a raft in the middle of a pool. Water-lilys' dotted the surface of the rippling water. And there beside her, stretched out in the sun, wearing a pink bikini was Lily. She looked down at herself. She was wearing a matching suit.
"Isn't it better, like this?" Veronica asked.
"So much better." Lily responded
"This is how it's supposed to be." Veronica commented. Thinking that it would have been this way, if not for Aaron. She again wondered, for the thousandth time, what life would be like if Lily hadn't died.
"Totally." Lily said
"This is how it's gonna be. From now on. Right? Lily?" Veronica asked, seeking reassurance.
Lily sighed. "You know how things are gonna be now, don't you? You have to know."
"Just like this. Just like this." Veronica replied hopefully, desperately holding on to the moment. She had a niggling feeling this was the last time Lily would be visiting her.
"Don't forget about me, Veronica." Lily said, confirming Veronica's thoughts.
And then, just like that, she was gone. Realizing someone is gone and letting them go are completely different things. Letting go is by far the more difficult of the two. Perhaps that was why, Veronica thought, she had clung so desperately to revenge. It was her way of holding on to Lily. And now that she had achieved her goal, she didn't know what to do with the rest of her life. She felt relieved, fulfilled and empty all at once.
"I could never." Veronica said, finally, to the empty pool, as a single tear streamed down her face. And it was true, Lily could never be forgotten.
Veronica awoke with a start. There was a loud banging filling the small apartment. Somehow, Veronica's sleep addled mind realized the banging was someone at the door. She rolled over in bed and glanced at the clock, 3:07 glared back at her in fluorescent red. Veronica rolled out of bed and padded down the hall to the door. She swung it open and stared up at the person in front of her.
Before she could stop herself, the words had left her mouth, "I was hoping it would be you."
Logan stared down at her. He was obviously drunk, though he looked absolutely decimated, not angry. His face resembled Veronica's in that it too was covered in bruises. This was one time Veronica was sorry she was that much shorter than him.
As Logan stood there staring at Veronica, he wondered why he was there. She was the last person he wanted to see, and yet there he stood, at her front door. She looked like hell, and he wondered what had happened to her.
"Been chasing bail jumpers again?" He sneered before he could stop himself.
"Did you come all the way out here for a social call at three in the morning, or is there a point to your visit?" She snapped back at him.
Logan stared at her. She had obviously just woken up, but she was still as fiery as ever. That was what he lov… no don't think about that.
His eyes went cold and his whole demeanor seemed to change. He looked defeated. Veronica had only seen this side of Logan once before, when he had realized his mother wasn't ever coming back. She wondered why he suddenly looked so hopeless. 'Don't kid yourself Mars. You're the reason he's standing there looking like a kid who dropped his ice cream cone.'
As he remembered what had brought them to this point, Logan had the over-whelming urge to run, get as far away from Neptune as he could. He should have been mad, he should have wanted to make her pay, make her hurt the way he did. But instead he just wanted to leave. He didn't want to ever have to think about Veronica Mars again.
"I came to say goodbye." He said, slightly surprised that the words had actually come out.
Veronica seemed as shocked bye his statement as he was.
"What?" she exclaimed. This was not how this was supposed to happen.
"Ciao, adiós, au revoir, see ya later!" Logan quipped.
With that he turned and walked away. Veronica yelled after him frantically "Logan!"
This was definitely not how things were supposed to turn out. Logan didn't even look back. Veronica closed the door and slid to the floor. For the first time since Logan had appeared, she wondered if he knew about his father and Lily. She wondered how he had been roughed up. She wondered if she would ever get the chance to ask him. Finally, the tears came. It seemed there were no happily ever after's, and for once, that wasn't okay. After all she had been through Veronica wanted her happy ending, as mushy as it may seem. 'After all, you know what they say. Veronica Mars, she's a marshmallow.'