Spoilers for 7:01/02 disclaimer: I don't own.
Gone. He's not, he can't be. He's God, for God's sake, he can't be gone. And a smaller voice in your mind adds that he's Cas and he can't be gone. He promised – Cas promised. And he wouldn't break a promise to you. So he can't be gone. And you don't believe he is – you didn't believe he was gone until you saw it. Bereft and alone – cold and wet and stained with blood and God-knows-what. You fish it out, and you stare. You hold it close to you, not caring that it's soaking through you shirt, not caring that the watery blood and God-knows-what is slowly seeping through your clothes. You bury your face in it – it doesn't even smell like him any more. It smells of wet and blood and God-knows-what. Not like him. Because Cas smelt of pure and sweet and Heaven. And it makes you want to cry, but you can't, because Sammy's there, and he can't see you cry. So you wait. You wait until you're alone – still clutching it. You don't think you'll ever be able to let it go. You cry then, when you're alone, with your sobs wracking your body and your salty tears adding to the stains. And when you're done crying, when you're done remembering, when you're done forgetting, you do what you think's best. You burn it. You burn it like you burned your daddy, all those years ago. And as you watch the smoke spiralling up into the Heavens – dry eyed, because you've cried out all your tears – you think you can do it. Not move on, no, not be alright, never. You think you can keep up the pretence. For Sammy's sake, and for Bobby's. You can pretend that you're fine – you've got to. You've got Sammy's crazy shit to deal with now, so you shove this to the back of your mind – in that corner with the things-you-don't-want-to-remember and the things-you-can-never-forget. And then you walk away.
Thoughts?
xx
P.S. who else thinks the trenchcoat should be in the character list? ;)