Author's Note: This is my contribution to the "Ooh a Fanfiction" meme. I am so, so sorry for writing it, but hopefully you'll find it amusing. Apologies to Ryohgo Narita and Kate Beaton.
The door to Shizuo Heiwajima's apartment swung open, slamming against the wall with a loud bang. "IIIIZAAAAYAAAA! I am home now!" Shizuo yelled as he smoldered. "I am looking so handsome and also my shirt opened...?" Indeed, his vest and shirt seemed to unbutton themselves against all laws of common sense.
This was the moment that Izaya Orihara had been waiting for all day. This was the reason that he had broken into Shizuo's apartment that morning and waited there all day. And lo and behold, Shizuo had seen this encounter coming. "OOH, SHIZU-CHAN, OOH!" Izaya swooned. "Let's have steamy hot hatesex!"
Shizuo sidled up to Izaya and took him in his arms. "Yes. And I will leave my sunglasses on."
Izaya gazed into Shizuo's eyes with fiery passion. His mouth twisted into a shape that was either a genuine smile at his deepest desires finally being fulfilled or simply a trollface.
Meanwhile, in a 20-mile radius of this event...
FANGIRLS SQUEEING!
Erika Karisawa let loose an ecstatic screech of a scream. "My OTP! It's canon!" She jumped up and down in the middle of the streets of Ikebukuro, completely apathetic to the stares of passersby and the distress of her companion.
"But Karisawa-san!" Walker protested. "That's ridicu-!" Unfortunately, he was interrupted by an abrupt slap to the face.
DULLAHANS COWERING!
Celty curled up on the couch in the apartment that she shared with Shinra, mentally scarred by the scene that she knew was unfolding not too far away. "Humans are scary!" She shuddered. Those two, who hated each other so passionately, were planning to… to…
"But Celty!" Shinra cooed reassuringly as he took a seat next to her on the couch. "It actually kind of makes sens-!" Unfortunately, he was interrupted by a swift punch to the gut.
It was amazing.
THE END