The rain pattered down incessantly in London, keeping Phil's spirits low. He observed the street outside of his flat, waiting for Dan to film another episode of Sims 4. After living together for four years, Phil had developed an intuition for Dan's schedule. What was keeping him out for so long? Phil decided to text his room-mate, "Come on Dan, Dil Howlter is waiting!".
30 minutes passed, and still no reply from Dan. Desperate times call for desperate measures, Phil thought, so he phoned his room-mate to get an instantaneous response. Nothing was worse than having to actually talk to someone in real life…
"Hey, Dan Howell here. If you'd like to leave a message, please do so after the beep. BEEP-"
"Hey Dan, what are you up to? Dil our child is desperately seeking attention, he can't afford to live on his own." Phil pressed the red icon on his Iphone 6. What was up with Dan? Usually he answers his phone right away… Well not for others, but for me, haha. No use in getting worried, might as well do something productive.
Phil logged onto his Mac, and got a head start on editing a video for his own personal channel. The rain started to shower more heavily, breaking his concentration. He went up to the window, but before he could draw the blinds in attempt to muffle the sound, he saw a large green figure, clad in burlap.
SHREK IS LOVE, SHREK IS LIFE.
The mantra sounded within Phil's head, in a deep American accent. Shrek wasn't even facing him, so how could he possibly be hearing the ogre in his mind? A chill went down his spine, and sweat started to bead on his forehead. His hand clenched, tense in anticipation.
"Phil." The youtuber turned around, and saw Dan standing behind him wearing his god awful black leather shirt. Doesn't he get extremely sweaty wearing leather directly onto his skin? Maybe he's part lizard… Weird, I didn't even hear him open the door.
"Dan? Where were you? You didn't answer any of my texts or phone messages!"
"Just running a little late. Hey…" Dan playfully scruffed Phil's hair, twirling a strand onto his forefinger. "Why so worried? It's not like I'm a fetus anymore."
"Ahhhhhhhh, right." Phil started to turn red. Why do cheeks turn red like Apples? Am I an apple? Distraction time! Ummm, Dinosaurs are green! Well maybe, depends on who is drawing the Dinosaur. Having a pet Dinosaur would be cool.
"Phil?" Dan was completely unaware with what had just transpired.
Phil snapped out of his reverie. "Dan, did you happen to see Shrek outside when you walked into the building?"
"Shrek? What are you talking about?"
"Outside, look!" Phil gestured towards the window. Dan looked outside, but to no avail. Where Shrek once stood, was a wet onion.
Dan smirked. "Really Phil, really?"
"But I thought I –"
"Come on, let's get started with the Sims. We can't disappoint the Phandom now, can we?"
Phil clasped onto his bedsheets sleeping alongside his trusty stuffed lion, yet he could not fall asleep. What had transpired today perturbed him. Firstly, Dan: Did he truly realise how much of an effect he had on Phil's life? Secondly, Shrek: What was he doing outside? Where did that voice come from? Was the onion merely a mirage?
SHREK IS LOVE, SHREK IS LIFE.
The mantra sounded again in Phil's mind. He could not tell whether it was his thoughts recollecting, or if Shrek was sending him a telepathic message once more. Nah, Shrek is just a fictional character, he couldn't possibly exist in real life.
"Shrek is love, Shrek is life."
Phil heard Dan murmuring through the bedroom wall. He stood up, and grabbed his Iphone to use as a flashlight. He thought it was best to be precautious, and not stir up any attention by turning on the house lights. He tiptoed over to Dan's room, and pressed his ear against the door.
"Shrek is love, Shrek is life."
Well, there's no time like the present. Phil opened the door a crack, and saw Dan kneeling beside his bed, repeating the mantra over and over again, praying to the swamp monster. A green hand appeared on the window sill, grasping. Shrek's head appeared, and crawled into Dan's room. The ogre positioned himself behind the 24 year old, touching him on the small of his back.
Phil slammed opened the door. He feared for his life, but more than anything he had to protect his best friend. "DAN!"
"Phil?!" Dan turned towards the door, shocked. Shrek stood, his eyes penetrating Phil's soul. "Why are you up so late?"
"Dan, I couldn't get to sleep. Just as I was 'bout to doze off, I hear you praying for Shrek and I-" Hot tears started to pour out of the corners of Phil's eyes. He stood quivering, trembling, his soul lay bare-necked for the rest of the world to see
"Phil, look. I can explain."Dan went over to Phil, and gave him a hug. Phil clenched back, crying uncontrollably. Dan's warmth soothed Phil, healing him. "Don't worry Phil, there's more than enough Shrek for the two of us."
SHREK IS LOVE, SHREK IS LIFE.
Phil got out of Dan's grasp. He had finally understood what it meant to be alive, what it meant to be a believer. No longer was there a trace of doubt in his mind.
"I'm ready."
Dan took Phil's hand, and walked towards the loving embrace of Shrek's powerful ogre hands.