Hi everybody! I'm sorry I've been gone for so long, and haven't updated my other stories but I was writing tonight, and even though it's not the couple I usually chose, I also love this couple. They are REAL! Their names are Kalel and Anthony, and they were together for 4 years. I watched their vlogs all the time, and was crushed when they broke up. They were going to get married in 2 months. It's sad. Anyways, I was rewatching some old vlogs while listening to music, and I thought this song fit so well with them, so I decided to write about it! So, here it is! Hope you like it.
"It's 2 a.m, in your car,
Windows down, you pass my street,
The memories start."
Anthony curses himself silently for choosing an apartment that was so close to hers; it was a good idea at first, when they were still dating, but now it was almost like a stab in the heart, reminding him of what they chose. It was 2 a.m now, and he had just gotten back off of a flight to L.A, since he was traveling to film a Smosh project. Usually, he would be itching to get back home, trying to get on the closest flight, but now it was different; now there was nobody waiting for him.
"You say it's in the past,
And drive straight ahead,
Thinking that I hate you now,
'Cause you still don't know what I never said."
He curses at himself, again, for thinking about her. He knew that he couldn't change the past, that he couldn't change the fact that she was all he wanted for 4 years, but even Ian could tell that this was difficult for him, even a month after the break up. It was harder now that their fans knew, because it made it too real for him. He didn't have to pretend that she and him were still together, that there was still a wedding in their plans; and even now he didn't know if that was good or not. Still, instead of picking up the phone and calling her like he wanted to, he drove to his apartment.
"I wish you would come back,
Wish I never hung up the phone like I did,
I wish you knew that,
I'll never forget you as long as I live,
And I wish you were right here,
Right now,
It's all good,
I wish you would."
Even when he gets into bed, he's still thinking about her. His body feels the absence of her form in the bed, feels the absence of the two cats that should also be there. He regrets it. He regrets not answering the text he got 3 weeks after they had called it off, which had read, "I miss you." He regrets how he hanged up the phone when they fought for the last time. It was the breaking point, where it all went to hell. When they couldn't take the tense environment, they both agreed to break up, but now he saw that it wasn't worth losing her. She had always been independent, and they were both scared of the prospect of marriage, the finality of it, but who else could he have done it with? With the phone in his hand, he fell asleep.
"It's 2 a.m,
In my room,
Headlights pass the window pane,
I think of you."
Kalel lays on her bed in the apartment, Buki and Chibi laying by her legs, snuggling to be closer to her. She stares at her ceiling, wishing that she could go to sleep, but this new bed was too unfamiliar, and there was no other person in the bed with her. She didn't even know where he was, they were still friendly enough to be texting, but not friendly enough to ask each other where they were. She hears the sound of cars passing, and wishes in spite of everything that it was his car, longs for her phone to ring and for it to be him.
"We're a crooked love,
In a straight line down,
Makes you wanna run and hide,
But it makes you turn right back around."
They weren't perfect, they both knew that. But they worked. Before, every argument that they had had before, didn't matter because they both knew that they belonged together. It wasn't the fight that they last had that ruined them; it was the fear. It was the fear that their marriage would fail, so they cowardly backed out. She knew now that there was nothing to be afraid of, but it was too late. She had pushed him away, and now she had to live with it. She told herself this, and tried not to be aware of the tears rushing out.
"I wish you would come back.
Wish I never hung up the phone like I did,
I wish you knew that,
I'll never forget you as long as I live."
Kalel sat up in her bed, and cried angrily in her hands. It wasn't fair. They had everything, and then they lost it all. She had invested so much in him, and him in her, but in the end they both let it be taken away. She thought of all the consequences she would have to face due to their decision, that she would have to see him date other people, that he would someday propose to someone else, that he would someday marry someone else.
"I wish you were right here,
Right now,
It's all good,
I wish you would."
Sniffling, and pulling a pillow over her head, with a phone in her hand, still angry at the fact that her body sensed that there was someone missing, that there were no snores to fill the silence, that there was no one scratching her back, lulling her to sleep. Eyes closed, she pushed the thought that he someday would do that to someone else.
"I wish we could go back,
And remember what we were fighting for,
I wish you knew that,
I miss you too much to be mad anymore."
She pushed the pillow tighter against her, torturing herself with the thought that he would have kids without her, have grandkids without her, get old without her. He would do it all with someone else, when it was supposed to be with her. That is what they fought for. That was the one factor that kept the relationship alive; that they didn't want any of that stuff without each other. But now? They brought it on themselves, having to experience the thing that they both agreed that they never wanted.
"2 a.m,
Here we are.
See your face, hear my voice,
In the dark."
Months later, they had both, in their minds, moved on. Anthony had gotten a girlfriend, and she had been going on dates, and was surprised to find that she wasn't repulsed by the thought of living without Anthony. They were doing okay, they thought. That is, until they saw each other again.
It was at Joey's birthday party. They both knew they were both invited, both had been trying to be prepared for it. But when the party started dying down, and they were the only ones who hadn't gotten drunk, and ended up outside, things changed.
"So, how are you?" Anthony asked, leaning up against the porch. Kalel walked slowly towards him, and sat down on the steps. "I'm alright." She answered, feeling her heart race when he sits down next to her. "How about you?" She said, trying to ignore the fact that his arm was brushing up against hers. He shrugs, grinning. "I'm good. My girlfriend is moving in tomorrow." She smiles, but inside she's crushed. Because just last year, it was her he was coming home to. Her he shared his bed with. Now, that spot was going to be tainted by someone else's body. She tries to hide the way her lip trembles, but he knows her too well, even now. He wraps his arm around her, squeezing his eyes shut at the feelings he knows too well flood him.
"We're a crooked love,
In a straight line down,
Makes you wanna run and hide,
But it made us turn right back around."
"I'm sorry it ended the way it did." She says, hating the way her voice trembles. She hates how she's the one who brought it up, the idea of them breaking up. But she also hates how he moved on so quickly. He shushes her, and holds her tighter, and she also hates the way it makes everything better. When her lip trembles again, and her tears peak out, he wipes them away, and scratches her back over her shirt. She hates how it doesn't calm her, because she cries harder when she wonders if he does that to her every night.
"I wish you would come back,
Wish I never hung up the phone like I did,
I wish you knew that,
I'll never forget you as long as I live."
"It was supposed to be me," she says. He stays silent. "We were supposed to get married. It was supposed to be me."
When she feels tears on her arms, she realizes he's crying.
And then he says something that makes it all right, and so much worse.
He says a lie.
And he also says the truth.
"It is you."
He pulls out a box in his pocket, and she gasps and her tears increase when she realizes it's the little ring box that held her wedding ring. She opens it, and cries out a little "oooh…" when she sees her ring. She looks at him with a confused look on her face.
"I can't get rid of it," he explains. She smiles weakly.
And then his phone rings, and they crash back into reality. She's not his. He has someone else, someone he's going to move in with tomorrow. He pulls away, and she almost screams at him to not go. But she stays still. Because they chose this. They chose fear, and now she can't help but ask, "do you scratch her back?"
Standing up, he smiles down at her.
"No."
With that, he walks back to his car, and doesn't let her see he's crying again. With that, they both go on without each other, never forgetting, and never remembering. It is them. They are for each other. Just not in this life.
"I wish you were right here, right now,
It's all good,
I wish you would."