War of the Boorus
By Carrot Top of Derpibooru
No pony would have believed that within the final days of 2012 that Derpibooru affairs were being watched from the respectless regions of the internet. No user dreamed that we were scrutinized, as some basement dweller studies My Little Pony toys with a magnifying glass. Few even considered the possibility of original content on other sites. But within the abyss of the internet, minds immeasurably more perverted than ours regarded our Booru with envious eyes. And slowly, and surely, they drew their plans against us.
Another morning, another wave of images, drama, and roleplaying was the motto adopted by the moderators as they watched the stream of users logging into their small pony image hosting booru. The rainy weather combined with the fact it was Sunday had forced many persons inside, where they collectively joined the Booru in hope of alleviating their boredom. While not many new images were being posted, they still were having a gay old time (both in terms of emotion and sexuality.)
Most users did enjoy their little home quite so; however a few were rather distraught today. Within the Booru's IRC, veterans of the now vaporized Ponibooru (An old pony image hosting booru that was deleted due to the owner's personal issues) were discussing their qualms with their old home's demolishment. "It wasn't fair! We could have run it ourselves!" one stated. "Roboshi was our king, now he is merely a figure head!" asserted another. "We could do anything, man! No Gods, no masters!" said another.
Yes, the destruction of Ponibooru brought the Brony community somewhat high levels of discordance and mayhem; all those images and users had to go somewhere, and quick. But once the community could agree on where to send all those images, the actual migration to Derpibooru, however, was not extremely drama saturated, albeit some more immature users encountered some adaption issues, with the actually active mods being intolerative of duplicate images, trolls, general drama and such. But that was done, and most have moved on with their virtual lives, neglecting their history and forgetting their past fun on the site. It was only until now that those immagrants were truly satisfied.
Their satisfaction ended today when the IRC chat room became overcrowded with Ponibooru veterans whining about their now vanished homeland. They were mad at the many differences between their old home and their new one. They hated the moderation, they hated the speed of the site, and they missed the drama, the mayhem, the action! They disliked the roleplaying, the friendliness, the maturity! In their anger, an idea grew. A wonderful, horrible idea! If they could not return to their glorious Ponibooru, they would turn Derpibooru into Ponibooru!
The Ponibooru veterans formed their plans overnight in the same IRC room. It was quite simple; they would overpower the moderators, conquer the server, and then convert Derpibooru's name into Ponibooru! Oh, this plot seemed too genius to fail, who could deny its brilliance? Once they were satisfied with their completed conspiracy, they signed off, awaiting for night to assimilate the day.
6 pm loomed over the busy Booru users, who were laughing at a new Milkmare of Trottingham cosplaying image. The absurdness of the picture even sent those who intended to clop to it into a fit of chuckling. They were so engrossed in their hysteria that they failed to notice a sole, subtle jostling of the ground, originating from not too far away.
The jostling occurred once more, then again, and again. It had soon become an event that had evolved into an expectation by the now aware users. Its gradually increasing strength was launching them into bewilderment; even the more madly scientific users were dumbfounded. I personally settled upon the top of a small grass covered hill, alongside Byakhee_Pony. We merely ignored the quakes and attempted to assemble a picnic.
Disregarding the ruins of our picnic that resulted from the shaking, our snouts slowly approached each other as we prepared to kiss. When our lips finally met, a sudden jolt of kinetic energy surged through the earth, sending us tumbling down the hill. When my rolling finally subsided, I was faced with a shocking sight: a large army of steel clad humans, OCs, and anons were marching towards us, each member of the group wielding either a metal pipe, a plastic dildo, or trollbait. Their gradual approach sent us towards the safety of a large rectangular concrete fortress, designed for maximum drama defense.
We seated ourselves in a small meeting room to discuss the intrusion. TheSmilingPony assumed total leadership over the group as we engrossed ourselves in theories and potential solutions to our guest's arrival. After much debate, we concluded that the most appropriate action would be to confirm their intentions. Drawing straws resulted in Magnificent Trixie's eviction from the sanctuary of our fort as she was forced outside to confront the horde. We waited eagerly for her return.
Moments later, a feminine cry was heard from the outside. A rescue party was sent, and I travelled with them. When we reached the roof of our fort, we gasped audibly. Trixie was simultaneously being fingered, hoofed, and penetrated in every orifice located on her innocent body that was evolved for sexual purposes. Even I cried while masturbating furiously at the sight of these scoundrels harassing my friend. Their intent became clear to us as we rushed to our main group.
Our decision to arm ourselves with the stockpile of weaponry in the basement was revealed to be a wise one once we assumed our positions in the fort. The army was surrounding us, continuing to attempt a forced entry. We provided them a small countdown till our retaliation began, starting at 10. Entering the 5th count, we prepared our bodies for battle. My makeshift carrot gun, Confetti's confetti cannon, Clopitor's spinter stretcher, Coltte's gas shells, Cottontale's cotton q-tip, Yorec's milkjar, And Brother I Hurt People's bat, 64's Nintendo 64 controller, Applejack's apple launcher, Princess Luna's dildo, SoarinPegasus's hair spray, Applejackfrost's ice ray, Blackie's black blacker, Bronyheresy's mop, Chief of Rocketry's bazooka, Deserter's flamethrower, Dragoon's crystal layzoer, Feral_Sock's latex socks, Gatito's diary (Which contains lewd drawings of the other users), Godhead Inspector's keyboard, gg666's rubber duck, HJSDGCE's missing leg, Indigo's bladed wings, Jack-o-Latern's beaker of acid, Hoer's philosophy novel, Nightjack's pet rule 63 [Lyra], ROTHY's BB gun, Sad Pony's tears, Salamenace's salamander, Terry A.K.A. Tyrranux's can, Zincy's pillow, Zombie_Trotsky's Luna plushie, 0particle's particle miniature particle accelerator, and HamburgerTime's milkshake were all within the possession of their respective owners as we waited for the countdown to end. I gripped Nebbie's crotch as we hugged each other. Then the number zero was uttered, and the battle began.
A group of anons attempted to climb on top of the roof; however Luna quickly massacred the whole lot with her transparent dildo. Another user flew onto the roof, where I quickly carroted his colon, Confetti blinded a few /mlp/ lurkers with her confetti cannon, and ROTHY shot another poor lurker's eye out. The blood, sweat, and semen emitted was tremendous, and the fight lingered on.
A loud wail was produced from the distance, and I noticed something unnerving: a large semen covered whale was stationed in the bucket of a catapult, which was close to firing. I warned the others at the very moment that the device was fired. The white painted whale soared through the sky and managed to strike SoaringPegasus down towards the earth. It finally met us when it crushed Confetti to death, her blood mixing with the stallion seed coating the monstrosity. We mourned momentarily, soon returning to the fight.
The army's size decreased as our onslaught upon them continued. Midnight approached us as the dildos, carrots, beakers, and rocks were launched by both sides. A trumpet was blown from the distance, and the army suddenly turned to face a large, white colt emerging from a hill.
The colt entered the battlefield, wiping semen off his hooves casually. We noticed something odd about the blue haired figure, yet he seemed so familiar. At last his details came into view, and that's when we collectively gasped once we observed his cutie mark: a heart with 2 addition symbols. It was the former king of Ponibooru: Roboshi the Faver.
His very presence sent the entire crowd of rebels to their knees in reverence of his holiness. He reached the front gate of our fort, where he struck the ground with his mighty favorite bar. "Why do you all dare defile the peace of our new home?" he boomed while facing the crowd. The crowd, rendered speechless, could only produce a mutter. "Answer me!" he demanded. At last, a sole Ponibooru veteran confronted him directly.
The small OC shivered at Roboshi's great form. Fate was kind to the user, as Roboshi was a merciful king, and spoke to the boy with a tender tone. "Please my dear subject, provide me insight of your reason for attacking these fine users?" he inquired. "We.. we.." he stuttered while tears emerged from his reflectively azure eyes. "Speak up boy!" ordered the Faver. "We wanted to convert Derpibooru into Ponibooru!" stammered the small colt. At those words, Roboshi facehoofed.
"My sweet plot, foal! Haven't you realized that Derpibooru is practically Ponibooru presently?" he exclaimed, sending the colt into a fetal position. He madly returned to the other army members. "If you do not desire to receive the cold end of my favorite stick, then I suggest that you all evacuate the area at once!" he venomously requested of the mob. And so they began their great migration back to their original homes.
By 2am they had all vanished into the distance, and we sighed in relief. We concluded that a celebration was warranted, and we partied hard throughout the night. Our celebration evolved into a sleepover, the sleepover an orgy, and the orgy an excuse for Roboshi to leave. Eventually we stated our farewells, then return to our respective homes, assured that another uprising of Ponibooru veterans would never occur again.
The End
Epilouge:
Roboshi entered the darkness of his basement, slowly trotting down the rickety steps. Once he reached the floor, he clopped his hooves together, activating a light. His eyes settled on a young, red female Pegasus bound by thick ropes, and gagged by a shining ballgag. "Hush my little pet, I promise to be gentle as per usual" he assured the whimpering mare as he wiped a tear from her pleading eyes. Reaching from a large leather bag, he obtained a small white rectangular object. On the side a single word painted in red appeared: "Favorite". Turning a knob on the bottom of the device, he forced the device into a frenzy of vibrating. Peering into her delicate eyes he whispered, "You shall always be my favorite". On that note, the mare squeeled.