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Mae isn't sure why she talks to the people who won't understand. No one will ever get what she's trying to say. Not fully. That's why she keeps it all in most of the time. What would be the point in wasting her breath to those who stare at her as if she's got a screw loose?
And yet, here she is. Spilling it all out, to him of all people.
"You want to know why college didn't work out? Fine! I'll freaking tell you, if you're not going to shut up about it!"
She throws her arms up in frustration, feeling her lungs grow tight as her tone becomes angry. Cole looks calm, observing her silently; patiently.
"You ever looked at the world and seen something totally different to everyone else?" she asked him. "Nah, probably not. I'm the weird one that no-one gets. Most people see the same old life and the same old happy towns every day, and there are no problems or anything. But to me, none of that stuff exists! When I look at this town I see an even bigger shithole than normal people do! Nothing's alive! Nothing's real! I just see mindless images moving around, like TV or something. They're just… shapes."
She half-expected Cole to say something at that point, so she paused. But when he stayed quiet, she stared irritably up at the grey sky and carried on talking.
"Why do you think I act so careless? There's nothing to care about. I just don't see it. I can't feel anything. You ever had that? The way your body, like, gives up on you? Emotions just disappear and leave you as a shell? Have you really had that? Have you?!"
Mae finds herself grateful that they're sitting in a quiet place where no-one is around, because her voice grew so loud that it stung her throat. She takes a few breaths, like she has just run a hundred miles, refusing to meet Cole in the eyes. Still, he is silent. All she can hear is the shuffling of his hands against the wood of the bench as he fidgets. This doesn't do much to calm her. If he wanted to talk to her, then why doesn't he just talk already?
Some time passes, agonizing her with the silence. The fog is growing thick around them, and she can feel the wintery breeze clawing beneath her fur, drawing shivers out of her. Then without warning, Cole moves a bit closer and drapes an arm around her shoulders. Her eyes grow wide, as if in outrage, but she doesn't pull away.
"Mae, I can't say I get what you're going through," Cole says softly. "But what I can say is that, no matter what happened before, we're still friends, and I'm here for you."
It's a corny remark that would usually make her cringe or roll her eyes. To a degree, she still does. But she doesn't offer any scathing retorts. In a way, the comfort is reassuring. Even though he has absolutely no idea what goes through her head most of the time.
"You want to tell me more about it?" Cole suddenly asks, as if he read her mind.
Mae snorts. "Wanna hear about dreams full of ghosts and gods?"
He blinks. "What?"
She is unable to fight a smirk as it tugs at the corner of her mouth. "Never mind," she murmurs, awkwardly leaning into him.
All of a sudden, the fog doesn't feel so cold anymore.