Andrei- Moldova
Luca- Luxembourg
Alin- Romania
Adriaan- Netherlands
Anri- Belgium
...
Happy Easter! Now, as I'm sure the 3 or so people in the LuxMold ship have realised, I completely forgot to engage in my annual tradition of writing gut-wrenchingly sad LuxMold because that's what happens when you leave me to write stuff I love.
Whilst I do have something extra nasty planned for next year to make up for it, I got this little idea after rereading my previous sad LuxMold, 'Put a price on that', and this is pretty much a sequel that is just as dark and sad. I would recommend reading the other fic if you haven't because this might not make a lot of sense. Also no one gave a fuck about it the first time round and that hurt my self esteem.
And sorry for actually missing Easter. I tend to procrastinate. Or, I could just look at this as being early to Orthodox Easter!
Anyhow, warning for lots of blood and messed up things and possible death. Yeah, it's a darkfic that is meant to be creepy and bloody, not portray a healthy relationship or happy world. Please bear that in mind and if you have a problem with this, you know where the back button is. If you think that, despite this warning, that I am a horrible person for writing such topics because I find them interesting, and feel a need to police what a write, just know that I don't give a fuck.
This was heavily inspired by the song 'If I told you once' by Circus Contraption, which is equally messed up if you want to listen, but does talk about suicide quite graphically so be warned. This fic does not contain suicide, I should mention.
And again, the three ocs mentioned- Moldova's siblings- are Transnistria (Irina), Gagauzia (Ediz), and Chernoslovakia (Stanislav). I talked about them at the beginning of this fic's predecessor, which you should all read.
...
Why was he still running?
Andrei didn't see the point, but somehow his skinny legs kept going, kept running from inevitable death. The branches of trees and brambles clawed at his clothes and the blood spattered across his knees stained his ripped trousers, the pain dragging his escape to little more than a painful hobble, and he tried not to fall again. The skeletal remains of the woods, and the smog blotting out the moon, were his only cover from whoever was following, whoever wouldn't stop until they'd slit his throat. His gasps that screamed for fresh air and the cracking of twigs under his boots made sure they were not far behind, able to keep the boy just in the brink of their sights.
Andrei's mind was a cloud of panic, the only thing keeping him going. If he was allowed time to think, the pointlessness of what he was doing would sink in, and he'd fall to his already agonized knees in despair. All that mattered though was finding somewhere to hide, back at the house he'd spent the night in, most likely. It was stupid, but better than running blindly like a hunted rabbit, moving deeper and deeper into the woods until he was too lost to ever return.
The silence around him was agonizing, no birds or wildlife or distant traffic. He hated it, not being able to hear the comforting sound of cars and sirens like back when he still had a shred of innocence. The only company now was his footsteps, and the distant movement of his pursuer.
He could see the house through the trees, and the thick, polluted air that hung around him like his own personal cloud. As much as he was convinced the air was slowly killing him, it had saved his life many a time over the past year, giving him the cover needed to escape. He hoped it wouldn't fail him here.
A chanced glance behind told him he was finally out of sight as he threw open the door and dived in. The silence followed.
Andrei knew this was stupid, that he was trapping himself, but it was his only chance. He couldn't run anymore, only hide.
The place was barely standing, half the ceiling caved in, spearing the planks of the floor to create a deadly pitfall. Every piece of woodwork seemed damp and soft, like the tiniest knock would send it all tumbling down around him, and he'd had second thoughts about staying last night, but it was certainly better than under a pile of dead leaves and branches again. The house had long been picked clean of anything useful, but there were still a few pieces of furniture about, perfect for hiding behind like the terrified mouse he was.
Andrei threw open the back door, to throw his pursuer off his trail, before climbing what was left of the stairs. If his memory served him correctly, then there should be a lumbering old wardrobe for him to hide in.
He was correct, and Andrei spared no time glancing at the pit at the end of the room, where the floorboards were sagging down to that forest of lethal wooden spikes, before climbing in, and just in time too.
Andrei stopped breathing as the front door creaked open, sinking to the floor of the wardrobe and biting his lip to stop him from crying out. His knees were excruciatingly painful and he doubted he'd be able to get back up again. His assailant was down below, footsteps slowly clunking across the floor, moving cautiously and listening out for any incriminating sounds, eyes peeled for even the tiniest movements.
Andrei knew just how deadly this person was. He had literally stumbled across them as he trudged along an A-road, tarmac broken and decaying, struggling to navigate the weeds and cracks whilst trying to keep his weak, starving body upright. In the early hours of the morning, he'd not seen them at first, the hulking lump at the side of a road, crouched down and driving a knife over and over again into the body at their feet. There was a rhythm to their movements, the swing of an arm and a flash of silver. Hoarse laughter had bubbled from their mouth, deep without a drop of sanity.
He'd tried backing away, slowly and silently, but as he turned to run his foot was caught in a crack and he fell to his knees. One cry of pain later, and he was being hunted.
The pursuer let out a growl, slamming a fist down on a piece of furniture below. Andrei jumped, knocking an elbow against the door of the wardrobe.
His heart stopped as the thing creaked open- the sound akin to the cackling of a witch- curling his freezing fingers around the edge to shut it, but it was too late.
The stairs were creaking.
Andrei couldn't control his breathing as his arms trembled and pulsed with adrenaline. His lip wobbled and for the first time in months, he prayed. He prayed this unknown attacker would walk right past, because as much as he wanted this reality- this existence- to end, he was scared of what awaited him.
Everyone he cared about, everyone he loved was dead, and they'd be waiting for him on the other side. How could he be in their presence again when he could do nothing to save them?
He stayed silent, though he thought he would be sick or scream, and the footsteps kept coming. Creak after creak.
Walk past, Andrei screamed in his mind, just walk past and leave me alone.
But when was he ever lucky?
The door was thrown open and before Andrei could even raise his hands to defend himself, a knife was plunged into his shoulder and he fell out, hitting the floor painfully.
His last conscious thought was of how familiar that now cursing voice sounded.
…
He was surprised he was still alive.
Although Andrei could feel the ropes cutting into his stomach and legs painfully, and his face was still squashed against the floor, he was somehow still breathing, hadn't been stabbed to a pulp. Even though he was only just conscious, and still groggy, he couldn't feel someone looming over him to finish him off, which was promising. In fact, all he could hear was the crackling of fire.
The relief fell away as Andrei wondered if he was to become this bastard's next meal.
Cannibalism was common now, the only plentiful source of fresh meat being the slow and weak. Children were particularly in demand, being the most vulnerable and easiest to kill- and the most tender- and any child not part of a convoy or particularly strong group was long gone by now.
He twitched and groaned, despite himself, and his attacker turned around.
"Oh," they spoke up, "you're alive. That's wonderful!"
And again, that voice. So familiar. The huskiness distorted it, but Andrei couldn't mistake it.
"Luca?" He croaked, "is that you?"
Andrei forced his eyes open, wincing at the blazing light of a tiny camping stove he'd ran past earlier, but there, silhouetted by the fire and a noose hanging behind him, was a beaming Luca Morgens.
"Who else?" The man laughed.
It had been three months since Andrei had left him to die, since Luca gave his life so the others could escape, and he had honestly never felt so alone. He'd almost forgotten what it was like to be the oldest, the one in sole charge with sole responsibility, and, between that and his crippling grief, he'd made mistakes.
Probably why he'd soon ended up completely alone.
When Luca died, he took the hope the group had built up over the months, that one day they'd be saved and get out England, possibly to civilization, a settlement of survivors on the mainland. With Luca gone, things had felt more hopeless than ever.
But here he was! And what a wonderful misunderstanding too! Andrei didn't even have space to reflect how through his unrelenting happiness. He'd been anticipating a bloody death, but instead he'd been greeted with the best news in months. Andrei smiled, lips cracking and bleeding but he didn't care. Luca smiled back.
"I don't believe this," he whispered, "I thought you were dead."
"I thought I was dead," Luca replied, lifting him up and leaning him against the wall. Andrei could feel the warmth of the fire, a warmth he'd not experienced in a long time. He wondered if Luca had anything to cook, that they could share together.
He was confused as to why the other hadn't untied him though. Maybe Luca was too shocked for the thought to cross his mind.
"How did you escape?" He asked.
Luca didn't reply immediately, he just shrugged, eyes firmly on the ground. "It's a long story."
"I'd love to hear it."
"It's not a happy story."
"I wasn't expecting it to be."
That made Luca chuckle. "Well, what about you? Where are our children? I was hoping, if there was to be a reunion, to find all of you safe."
Now it was Andrei's turn to avoid eye contact. "I'm afraid I couldn't protect them."
"Oh," Luca's voice fell flat, "I'm so sorry to hear that." It wasn't the tearful reaction Andrei had been expecting. Maybe Luca needed time to process such enormous tragedy.
"May I ask how it happened?" He tried.
Andrei shrugged. "It seems we both have long stories to tell."
"Indeed."
Andrei wiggled to get himself comfortable. "If I tell you what happened, will you tell me what happened to you?"
Luca nodded. "It would only be fair."
"After you pushed us through that vent, we kept crawling until we found the outside, or the grate that lead outside. I kicked it open and by some miracle no one heard. At the time I thought it was because those bastards were too busy chopping you up, but now I'm not sure." He sighed, shuddering at the memory, the rain on his face stinging it to numbness, unlike the twisting, agonising pain that wreaked havoc inside him. "Then we fell out and just got running, into the forest to hide."
"So you got away safely?" Luca smiled, "that's a relief. I'd hate to think about what would have become of your bodies."
Andrei's eyebrows knotted together, and he glanced down at the knife in Luca's hands, with it's syrupy black blood coating the rusty blade.
Then he remembered the bodies in the abattoir and decided Luca had a point.
"How did the little ones die?" Luca reached out a hand, and Andrei couldn't help but flinch. He didn't know why, but the dark circles under the other's eyes, the near-constant smile, it all unnerved him.
"Well, to keep things short and sweet," Andrei laughed bitterly at that, "Stanislav got ill shortly after you went. There was nothing we could do."
"I cannot say I don't feel relieved for him," Luca commented, "I mean, this is no world to grow up in. I just hope, wherever he is, it's better than this."
"We can only hope." Andrei knew Luca was an insufferable optimist, but this was a whole new level of callous.
"And the others?"
The fire kept crackling on, filling the empty silence as Andrei steeled himself to go on.
"Ediz… it was all my fault. Between you and Stan… I was mourning. I could not pull myself out of my misery enough to protect my remaining family. When I woke up to find Ediz frozen, I woke up indeed. How could I let my own brother die of hypothermia? He'd slept mere metres away from me."
"A peaceful death, you have to remember."
"Irina did not die peacefully," he spat, "she was taken and murdered. I lost grip of her when we were chased by more of those gangs and she was killed because of me. They ate her!"
"People do that now," Luca agreed sadly.
"Do not call them people." Andrei hated everyone left on this island, because anyone left was either a murderer, a cannibal, mad, or all three. "They used the bits they didn't eat, they used them to decorate a tree. A little six-year-old girl, and they used her guts to mark their territory!"
"Disgusting," Luca was watching him closely, and Andrei, for the first time in his life, hated how those pale eyes scanned his face. Other memories of them, far sweeter, flickered in his mind.
"Come on then," Andrei swallowed the lump in his throat, "your turn."
"Of course." He didn't begin immediately, in fact, Luca decided to simply caress his love's face instead, rubbing a thumb over the stubble that had mushroomed across Andrei's jaw. "You look exhausted."
"Isn't that a polite way of saying I look like poop?"
Luca laughed. "At the very least, I can prevent your feelings taking a hit."
"I feel nothing anymore."
Andrei shivered as Luca drew nearer, thumb migrating to his lips. He wiped Andrei's bleeding mouth before placing his thumb in his own. Andrei didn't know just what Luca was hoping to achieve, but the act certainly unnerved him.
"Now I don't think you believe that anymore than I do."
"It's true," Andrei muttered. It was true before Luca came back into his life, at least. He was just existing, wondering why he was going on now that everyone was dead. In the back of his mind, there was some small plan of finding Luca's brother and sister, but he never thought it would happen for real. They were long dead and Luca just hadn't been able to accept that.
Luca jumped. "Oh, right, my adventures. What do you want to know?"
"Well, first of all, why did you kill that man?"
"What man?"
Andrei raised an eyebrow. "You know, when I first found you, the dead man you were stabbing." He remembered the laughter, the mad cackle in time with the rhythmic swings of his arm. How could that have been dear sweet Luca?
Luca studied Andrei's face closely. "He attacked me."
"Of course," murmured Andrei, "but how did you have it in you? You were always a 'fight until they were injured' type, never a killer."
"Things changed. I changed."
Andrei could just well believe that. "So start at the beginning."
"I was ready to die for you," Luca began, "you know me, Mr Noble, was probably a knight in a past life. I was going to lay down my life to maim as many of them as I could. I wanted to buy you time to get away."
Andrei sighed. "I remember."
"But when I thought of them… doing away with me, and going after you, I couldn't help but think that I would not be able to buy you enough time. I don't know where I got the strength or resolve- in fact I remember very little of the ordeal- but next thing I knew I was slicing out throats and ramming my knife through eyes. I believe I disemboweled the last fellow."
"Harrowing," Andrei commented.
"I remember laughter too," Luca's dark eyebrows furrowed together, "mine I think. Nerves, I presume."
"I'm sure you found the ordeal… unhinging." He half-expected Luca to attack him, for some reason. There was something about how the man was looking at him that made his hands tremble and a cold sweat break on the back of his neck.
"I was shocked by how easy it was," Luca admitted instead, "that was why I didn't try to find you. I was ashamed."
"Of protecting yourself?" Andrei shook his head. "You should never be ashamed of that. You did what you had to and the world didn't need those donkeys."
"But I was," and for the first time, some genuine emotion seemed to grace his face as it crumpled, "I could not let you see me like that so I stayed in that abattoir for months. It was not like the previous residents could object."
"You poor thing." Had Andrei not been tied up, he would have embraced Luca, held him, told him everything would be fine now he was here. But he couldn't, so instead settled for resting his head on Luca's shoulder. His own shoulder throbbed and stung from its wound, but all thoughts of such things melted away when Luca embraced him. It was warm. He was warm. Alive. Returned to him.
Andrei wanted to tell Luca he still loved him, but the lump in his throat was back and he couldn't find the words. It didn't matter. Luca knew. Of course he did.
"So, um, what did you do for food?" He asked instead. He remembered that forest well, no bins or supermarkets to scavenge from, no wild animals, nothing to eat at all. It was a harmless question, really.
But when he felt Luca freeze a cold dread settled in his stomach, and he knew the odious truth without so much as a word being said.
"I… I was desperate," Luca choked, pulling away. "Please, understand I was starving. I didn't want to, and if there had been any other way… I searched for another way!"
"No, I understand," that didn't mean Andrei liked it at all though, "these are cruel times." Scavenging had yielded few results these past few weeks, everything either already eaten or putrid and inedible.
"So cruel," Luca muttered, "being alone drove me mad. Having to eat my fellow humans to survive drove me mad. And when the food in the abattoir turned rotten, I needed to find more, and leave that cursed place."
Andrei could only listen. Visions of Luca, dead eyes trained on a victim as he scooped out their insides, bit chunks out of corpses, little more than a zombie. He wondered just how much of that hopeful, kind, intelligent young man was left. Maybe he just needed Andrei to find his humanity again. Now that they were back together, Andrei began to think of the future once more, them making it to the mainland and being rescued.
"I only did it when I was close to starvation," Luca reasoned, "and only if there was nothing else to eat."
"I understand." Andrei tried his best to ignore the stinging in his shoulder, and the shiver at each movement Luca made.
"I envied them, the people I killed," admitted Luca, "they were at peace now, free from this evil world."
"Sometimes I envy Alin," Andrei told him, "dying so soon after all this happened."
Luca's face crumpled. "I envied them so much I wanted to help them more, kill more people to set them free. It's just so easy, the chase, the feeling of how they struggle under you, and it's all over. It became my mission to give everyone I found that peace."
"Hah, well, that's not for you to decide though," Andrei gave a short laugh, "but it explains why you actually killed that man."
"He is in a better place now."
Andrei scoffed. "You know, normally I would agree with you, but do you honestly think there's no hope for the future? I mean, I didn't when everyone died, but now you're here I feel we can escape together. Hasn't finding me changed that for you?"
Luca didn't reply immediately. For the longest moment, he pondered his old lover's question, in deep thought as the old Luca tried to break through.
"I think you may have misunderstood my intentions," he finally murmured, "seeing you again has brought light into my life, and a new purpose to my existence."
Andrei hoped that was all there was to it, but he wasn't stupid. "...But?"
"But that is because I have an opportunity to set you free too."
Every bone in Andrei's body told him to run, to crawl away and take his chances in the forest again, but the love for Luca that had not diminished over the past months told him the man could be reasoned with. Luca was lost and alone, like he was. He was deluded and had been his only company for too long. Now they had each other again, he could recover. They could recover.
"Oh you're funny," he tried to smile, "come on, this isn't you."
"It is now," Luca gestured to the noose behind him, "of course, a knife would be too vulgar for a beautiful young man like you. I cannot bear to spill your blood anymore than I have."
"Then let me live," Andrei smiled a smile he hoped was warm, and didn't convey just how terrified he was. "I want to survive with you."
"You don't want this existence," Luca reached forwards and held his hands, gentle but forceful, and Andrei couldn't help flinching. "I love you, Andrei Radacanu. I cannot bear for you to be in anymore pain."
"I want to live," Andrei told him firmly.
"In this world?" Luca seemed genuinely confused at that, "but if you just step into my noose, you will never have to feel pain again."
"No!"
"If you're scared of dying, you're welcome to hold my hand until it's over."
Andrei wiggled out of his grip. "Get off me! What's come over you?"
"Oh, nothing," Luca giggled, "come on, my darling, I am a busy man. After I kill you I need to find someone to eat."
Andrei scoffed. "What? Am I too tough to eat? Not fancy enough for your tastes?"
His reply seemed to genuinely horrify Luca. "How could you possibly imply I would do such a thing to you, my love?"
"Yet you want to hang me from the ceiling?" Andrei glanced behind the other, at the rope just hanging there innocently from one of the beams spanning the remains of the roof. Still, at least if he were to die, the last thing he would see would be a wonderful view of the early morning sky. How long had he been unconscious?
"I want you to be free! I cannot believe you don't see how I am helping you!" Luca stood up, pulling Andrei with him by the arms.
"Let go of me!" He wriggled and writhed but it did little good. His shoulder screamed with him and he couldn't move his legs to run, the ropes binding them cutting off his blood supply. Andrei was crying now, refusing to go out like this, betrayed by the one who had protected him for so long.
He writhed harder when Luca kissed him. No! Luca was a cannibal, a murderer, mad! All three, the worst of them. There was nothing left of that sweet soul who'd talked his way into sticking with Andrei and his siblings.
It was the first time Luca had kissed Andrei like this, forceful, invasive, and Andrei hated it. He jerked his functional shoulder sharply and finally fell away.
Down and down to the edge of the floor.
Andrei braced himself for his inevitable impalement on the spikes below, but it never came. He opened his eyes to find himself half-hanging over the edge, only just held back by Luca's hand on his side.
"Oh my," he purred, "so eager."
"Please," Andrei sobbed, "I beg of you, don't do this."
"I thought our love was stronger than this," Luca's face grew dark, "I thought we were supposed to do anything for each other. Let me bring you peace, and die for me."
It was not a fair deal, or one Andrei was interested in making, but a plan began to form in his head. A few, actually, that he could try. None of them were very good, but the terror and betrayal pulsing through his mind left room for little else.
"Why don't you die for me?" He asked as Luca sat him up, "I would find that romantic, and love to know you were at peace yourself."
"Afraid not, beautiful," Luca gave a wink that made Andrei's skin crawl. "I still have a mission to complete."
"Will it ever be complete?"
"Of course not."
"Then may I ask for you to untie me? I would like to die a free man."
Luca's smile fell. "Do you think I'm stupid?"
"Of course not," Andrei flinched away, "please, I'm begging you. I want to die free, and holding your hand too."
The other didn't seem convinced, not looking at him as he stood the dying boy up and slipped the noose around his neck. Andrei's heels were hanging off the edge of the floor, wooden planks cracking and splintering under his boots.
"Please, I'm so damn scared," he gasped out, "I want to hold your hand, my love."
Luce paused. He looked up, staring deep into Andrei's eyes to detect a hint of a lie, and Andrei- no matter how much the chill in his spine told him otherwise- held his gaze.
"Please," he whispered.
"I suppose that is a reasonable request;" Luca took out that damned knife to cut away the ropes with one hand, keeping firm grip on Andrei's injured shoulder with the other. The boy hissed and buckled, and the noose squeezed his neck.
And Luca took his hand. Andrei's mind flashed back to a happier time, when his hand was held by a man who truly loved him and wanted to protect him.
"Are you comfortable, my dear?" He asked tenderly.
"Yes, thank you darling," Andrei replied, before yanking his arms back.
With a panicked scream, Luca was thrown off the edge down to the spikes below, but before Andrei could celebrate, the room spun forward as he too lost his balance and fell, only this time there was no crying out his terror as he simply couldn't breathe.
The last thing he heard before his neck snapped in two was the splat of flesh impaled by wood down below.
...
Two months later
…
"Not just yet," Anri panted as she marched through the forest, ignoring the sweat from the gas mask plastered to her face and her brother's orders. "Come on, one more house! It won't take five minutes!"
Behind her, she heard Adriaan sigh, but he didn't protest again. Why did he need to in the first place? They could both clearly see the cabin before them, only a few metres away. Yes, they'd be pushed for time, but they had to find him. Luca was still here somewhere, she could feel it, he was alive and needed them to make everything good again. It had been hell for her and Adriaan, not knowing if their baby brother was safe.
Their convoy was leaving at sunrise, and they were a long way from the coast where their ship was anchored. There were only a few hours left to search for Luca, and given how few people had been found and evacuated, Adriaan was not hopeful.
But Anri just couldn't give up on the boy like that.
The cabin was derelict, falling apart with a faint odor of death, and when Anri pushed the front door open, it simply fall off it's hinges with a clatter.
"I'll go first," Adriaan pushed past, rifle held at eye-level as he scoped the room for any sign of a threat. Anri held back as he did his thing, deciding not to get involved no matter how much she wanted to rush in.
But when Adriaan gave a shout, a protest, she couldn't hold back any longer.
"What is it? What's wrong?" But the moment she entered the room, she could very well see for herself.
Even though the room contained skeletons mummified with shrivelled up black skin, it was easy to see which one was her brother. There was no missing the thin wisps of blond hair and his beloved thick coat, designer and soft, now long-ruined. The skin had rotted where broken planks of wood impaled his neck and torso, and one spike- slicing through the skin of his arm- kept it upright, pointing towards a second body, one with a neck twisted at a sickening angle, one of its arms already fallen off.
"No, Luca!" Anri didn't dare go near the body, gagging at the sight even though anything that smelt had long rotted away. She fell to the floor as Adriaan held her back, the pair clinging to each other and shaking. Anri wailed, burying her face in Adriaan's coat as she realised everything they'd worked towards for the past year was for nothing: Luca was dead and not going back.
There had to be some mistake. They had spent so long finding a way to get to him, sacrificed what little they had to bring him back, and here he was.
"Adriaan, we have to be sure it's him," she sobbed, "Luca can't be dead! Our baby… We have to keep looking!"
"Anri, don't."
"Please. I don't believe it!"
Adriaan let go sharply, storming over to the mess of spikes, navigating carefully to get to the body. A quick search of the pockets, and he was making his way back.
"Here," he threw something onto Anri's lap, "will this do?"
Luca's wallet. Anri opened it to find a picture of the three of them, years ago when they still had rosy faces and real smiles.
"I don't want to believe it either," Adriaan's voice cracked as he spoke, "but I suspected this would be the case. It was always a long shot."
But Anri was hysterical now, and unwilling to hear anything. All her brother could do was hold her.
...
"Anri, we need to get out of here. I don't want to be left behind in this bastard place."
Hours later, Anri nodded as Adriaan helped her to her feet, still raw and trembling and unable to believe what she was seeing. She glanced over at the bodies one more time, at their positions and the mysterious boy who had died with Luca.
"I do have to wonder though, what happened here," she commented as she followed her brother outside.
"Tragic love? Friendship? Still, he didn't die alone." Anri could tell Adriaan wasn't as disinterested as his voice suggested.
"Maybe he was trying to save the hanging boy," Anri pondered.
"Maybe one couldn't bear to live without the other."
...
Thanks for reading. If you were cheesed off or saddened by this fic, please tell me so I can print off your message and frame it, because I'm one sadistic bastard.