Dean jolts awake, gasping for breath, trying not to scream and wake the whole motel. He turns his head looking for Sam in the bed next to his. But Sam's not there, just an unmade bed. Dean tries to breathe but even the simple task is getting increasingly harder.
Sam's body limp and cold in his arms on the muddy ground. The blood pooling from a whole in his back. The sickening realization that Sam's dying. Bobby trying to pry Sam's body from Dean's grip. Dean screaming and crying out Sam's name over and over. Throwing up and not feeling capable of even getting off the ground and moving away from the smell. Not feeling the desire to move at all because Sam is gone, Sam is gone, Sam is gone.
Dean gasps for breath and tells himself that it's over, it's okay, Sam's okay, Sam's safe but that doesn't stop the terror that seizes Dean. He needs Sam and he needs him right now. The nightmares of Cold Oak did not fade over time and Dean knows he'll never forget the feeling of Sam's cold body in his arms and seeing the life fade out of his eyes. Dean can't hold in his sobs anymore, "Sam!" he cries out. Nothing else mattered as long as Sam is safe. "Sam is safe, Sam is safe, Sam is safe," Dean whispers as he gasps for breath.
Just then Sam opens the door with his gun drawn looking around the room for the cause of Dean's distress. When the only thing out of the ordinary is Dean with his head between his knees, curled in the fetal position, Sam tucks the gun in the waistband of his jeans and makes his way over to Dean.
"Dean? What is it? What's wrong?" Sam asks, concern evident in his voice as he palms Dean's face trying to get Dean to look at him.
And then Sam sees the tears tracks all down Dean's face and it all clicks into place. Sam knows that Dean still wakes up crying and shaking after the nightmares about Cold Oak. So he just holds Dean waiting for him to muffle his sobs and calm down enough to slow his tears.
"Sammy," Dean manages to choke out.
"Shhh, I know, it's okay," Sam soothes rubbing his hands on Dean's back. Sam feels his heart break when he hears Dean whimpering 'Sam' over and over again. Then Dean's arms are flung around his shoulders and Sam feels Dean's breath against his neck coming in short gasps. Sam is surprised when he feels Dean's fingers at his neck feeling for the pulse in his carotid. Dean is not usually this desperate, this needy, this open even after his worst nightmares.
As if reading Sam's thoughts, Dean whispers "You were gone. I woke up and you weren't here and…" Dean chokes on his next words and crushes Sam even closer to his chest.
They stay like this for a long time until Dean hiccups a little and the tears stop. All that's left is Sam and Dean wrapped up in each other on a lumpy mattress in a cheap motel room. Dean tries to shake the images burned into his brain and reliving the terror of the life leaving Sammy's body and his head falling limply into Dean's shoulder.
"Sorry," Dean mumbles trying to worm his way out of Sam's tight embrace. Now that the fear is gone, all that is left is embarrassment at falling apart in front of Sam… again.
"It's okay," Sam says, "Do you want to talk about it?" He knows Dean won't say yes, just like all the other times this conversation has occurred in the last few months.
"No, let's just get some coffee and hit the road,"
"That's why I was out in the hall before, Bobby called, said he had another hunt for us. There's a werewolf about 200 miles from here." Sam says trying to go along with Dean and ignore what just happened. It's as if Dean just flips a switch and the chick flick moment disappears as if it never happened in the first place.
Later, in the Impala, Sam can't help but think about Dean's nightmare. How scared Dean looked, how desperate he seemed to assure himself that Sam was really there. Unable to stop the shiver that runs through his body, Sam can't help but think that soon enough that will be him waking up from a nightmare and Dean will be in hell. Sam will be all alone and Dean won't be there when he wakes up to calm him from his nightmare. His need to get Dean out of the deal seems more and more important every passing second.
When Sam looks over at Dean, Dean smiles and says, "I don't care how mad you are at me for making the deal, I don't regret it for one second. 'Cus it means the nightmares are just that, nightmares. And you're here and safe and everything is right in the world."
While Dean looks euphoric at his realization, it only fills Sam with more dread. "I'm getting you out of your deal," Sam declares.
Dean just nods, turns up some classic rock station on the radio and efficiently ending the conversation.
Sam can't help but smile a little too because this is him and Dean. Together against the world, they can do anything.