About Nightmares
Summary: It catches him by surprise, the first night he wakes up.
Notes: A very unimaginative title for a prompt fic – cousyfest2k17, day 1, nightmares.
It catches him by surprise, the first night he wakes up. For some reason his mind had assumed there wouldn't be any nightmares at all.
But there are.
His. Hers.
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The Framework was a place of no regrets, he had a quiet life, his parents, his hand.
He wakes up by the pain in his left arm, the ghost itch of his palm to the point he'd taken to wearing the hand while he slept, just to make his mind believe everything was normal. Ordinary.
He wakes up seeing his father die, thinking he should be alive and realising the man is long gone. For fourty-four years now.
He wakes up fearing HYDRA has taken over the world, that anything will provoke them to send Inhumans to subdue and terorise and then he hates himself, the moment he realises, because Daisy would never and she'd never let another Inhuman do something like that for selfish reasons, she wouldn't become a pawn.
He wakes up in cold sweat, with no recolection of the dream, or with it dissolving into a grotesque reality of machines and people strapped into them, like some horrific rentiction of the Matrix or a more twisted version of TAHITI.
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She wakes up feeling his hands on her and she makes for the bathroom to vomit every time.
She wakes up from dreaming it could have been a second chance with Lincoln, only to find he didn't want anything to do with a monster.
She dreams of her parents and what would have been, of a life she didn't get to live, not even in a fake reality, and wakes up crying at the fact she will never know.
Sometimes, she wakes up from her powers, the vibrations suddenly so loud and so many, making her bed shake lightly. But it's enough to pull her out of sleep.
She wakes from Phil's scared face, looking at her with no recognition and such fear and anger, she weeps.
There are nights she doesn't even attempt to sleep, because she knows what she'll see.
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He doesn't understand how they hadn't bumped into each other for so long.
He knew she was getting as much sleep as him. (Which is hardly enough.)
The kitchen is dark when he gets there, but he knows he's not alone.
"Phil." she calls him softly.
"Daisy." he sighs, walking quietly towards her and sitting beside her at the table.
"I just..." she started.
"Me, too." he interupted.
"I'm sorry."
"It's not something you should feel sorry about, Daisy. It's not your fault."
"If I was faster, if I had finished with Ivanov earlier..."
"You can't know that, Daisy. What if you caught up to AIDA and Radcliffe as they took me out and they decided to take you out, too? What if instead of putting you in the Framework, they killed you?"
"You can't seriously believe I'd be defeated by a robot."
"No, of course not. But in the highly off chance you couldn't, you can't know they'd let you live."
She sighs in reponse, because he makes a good point. It doesn't stop her from wondering what she could have done differently, spare him and Mack from this.
"It was so real." she says quietly.
"Yeah."
"AIDA had created a version of me, living with Ward of all people. I had to..." she breaks off.
"Oh, God, Daisy. I am so sorry." he makes to pull her to him, but stops, not sure if she wanted his comfort.
Daisy let her head rest on his shoulder and sighed.
"I have nightmares about that place." she admitted. "And so do you, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do."
"I don't want to have nightmares Phil."
"What can I do?" he asked, eager to help her.
"Can I...?" she started.
"What?" he prompted her gently.
"Can I stay with you?"
He looked at her, to make sure he understood. Daisy avoided his eyes.
"Yeah, ok." he replied quietly. "Come on." he stood up, giving her his hand, invinting her.
Daisy took it.
He waited for her to settle in the bed before he laid down, too. He turned to his side, facing her. He smiled softly.
Daisy scooted closer, wrapping her arm around him and sighed.
"I'm glad we're no longer in there." she said quietly.
"Me, too."
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"Sometimes I think of what Framework Daisy had to have lived and then I wake up shivering and nauseous." she tells him one night.
They had been sharing their beds – the perks of living next door – for a couple of nights now. They talk about their nightmares, about what happened in the Framework.
"It's the ghost pains." he tells her.
"That's why you wear your hand?"
"Distracts the mind long enough to realise it was a nightmare." he says quietly.
Daisy reached for his hand, running her fingers lightly over his arm down to the prosthetic fingers.
She reaches back up to the docking and looks him in the eyes.
"Is it ok?"
"Yeah." he sighs.
She twists the arm and takes it off.
"It hurts, doesn't it?" she rubs the arm above the dock. "Your arm. The vibrations..."
"It's unomfortable to sleep with the hand too many nights in a row." he admits. "Despite the advanced techology in its creation, it's still not easy to sleep in."
"I'm sorry."
"Not your fault, Daisy. The hand or the Framework."
"I had...I feel like I had a part in your hand, Phil." she closed her eyes, holding him closer. "It was my mother's fault, after all."
"SHIELD found the only place she had felt safe for twenty six years, Daisy. And HYDRA agents dressed as SHIELD took you from her. I wouldn't have agreed to meet us, if the people I believed had a part in tearing apart my life and family came uninvited to my home in the first place."
"I know. You said before you didn't think my mom was really at fault."
"And so, you shouldn't feel responsible either." he held her close.
"You always say stuff like that." she mumbled against his chest.
"And I'll keep on saying them. Even after you believe them."
"Thank you." she whispered.
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"So, what's up with you and Coulson?" Mack asked Daisy once.
"Nothing." she replied softly. "We can't sleep sometimes. End up talking all night and crashing."
"You leaving his room at the crack of dawn or him leaving your room a couple of hours after you is nothing?" he raised an eyebrow, almost teasing.
Daisy smiled.
"Dating YoYo looks good on you." she said.
"I'd like to say 'she could do better' to sound modest, but we're both really amazing." he smiled.
"Yeah, you are." she agreed. "How are you holding up?"
Mack shrugged.
"Dreams of a life that didn't happen wake me up sometimes. I am sorry Elena has to wake up because of me, too. She says it's fine, and I know it is, she understands, but I'd like not to pile this on her."
"Have you talked to her about there?"
"Yeah. After the first dream. It made moving on easier, sharing what happened to me with her." he replied. "How about you, Tremors?"
"We talk. From time to time." she admitted. "I don't know if it helps. We still end up crashing together more often than not. I wonder if the times we don't meet, he's having as hard a night as I do."
"I know what happened, more or less, from your and Simmons's report, but we'd wish to help you, Elena and me."
"I know, Mack. It means a lot to me." Daisy smiled softly. "You just focus on getting through it. I'll be okay."
Mack pulled her in a tight hug.
"You need anything..." he started.
"I'll let you, or YoYo, know." she completed with a smile.
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That night, she doesn't try to sleep on her own. She gets ready for bed and then knocks on Phil's door.
"Daisy? Everything ok?" he asks worried, the moment the door opens.
"Yeah. I just..." she started. "I want to talk with you."
"Nightmare?"
"No. Not just about our nightmares. About a lot of stuff." she said quietly. "Things I didn't think I needed to say, things I want to explain, things I want to ask you about."
"Oh."
He made way to let her in and they soon had settled in his bed. Phil wrapped his arms around her and sighed.
"I've grown used to waking up to you." she whispers in the darkness. "I like the feeling of being held by someone who cares about me. It's...been a while." she admitted.
"What about...?" he started.
"I didn't feel that. I was the one providing the care in the relationship. I didn't really get it back. I'd like to believe he tried to. But I am not so sure. He cared more about himself and what he thought about who he was. We disagreed on a lot of things, usually my opinions not mattering much, being a high-school dropout and all."
"I'm sorry you had your views dismissed like that."
"You never did that."
"I know that you know a whole lot more things than I do. Your education has little to do with that, Daisy."
Daisy smiled.
"Yeah."
"I like holding you while sleeping." he admitted. "It's nice knowing your bed partner won't try to sell you to HYDRA."
Daisy snorts at that.
"I did almost bury you alive." she said, suddenly serious, almost sounding sorrowfull.
"You missed by a few centimeters." he half-shrugs.
"It's not funny, Phil."
"I know. I just think you intentionally, subconsciously, I don't know, but you didn't do enough damage to hurt me. Just bruised my leg." he said, serious. "And don't say 'I'm sorry'." he stops her.
She smiles and rubs her face against his chest.
"You are the best." she told him.
"I don't know about that." he said, "But I want to be a good person."
"You are the best person I know, Phil, trust me."
"I do." he smiled.
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Their night talks go on for days.
No one seems to mind that they come out from the same bunk, whenever anyone catches them.
She tells him everything; while she was away those six months, what happened before she went in to find him, what she had to do in the virtual reality.
He listens, holding her close, absently pressing light kisses to the top of her head.
When she finishes, he tells her what he last remembers, stepping aside for her to fight Ivanov, and waking up in his fake bed, knowing he had to go to teach at his father's old high school. He tells her about his parents there. His students.
Daisy holds him when he remembers his dad, both versions of him, the life he could have had.
"It's just, I think this is what would have been, had my dad lived. We were a quiet family. It was a plausible reality, my parents' lives."
"I would have liked to have been given that possibility, even if it was fake. Feels like I was robbed of a chance to know."
"Well, I can guess your dad would have spoiled you and your mom rotten, he'd be the one to start prank wars and possibly be the one to win your mom over when you'd bring a dog or cat back home."
Daisy snorted.
"My dad would be the funny one, huh?"
"He'd be the compassionate one. It's where you got your heart from." he grinned down at her.
"I think, without having met her ever, you are most like your mom." she replied.
"She'd say that is very true. Though I did get my dad's eyes."
"Your dad must have had a lot of women dreaming of him, then. I'm certain his female students were crushing on him."
"On what do you base that?"
"I love your eyes." she half-shrugged. "And if your dad had the same eyes, well..."
"You love my eyes?"
"And your arms." she said, running her palm up and down his left arm, all the way down to the wrist.
"I love your voice." he said distractedly.
"Yeah?"
"I love…you." he sighed.
"I would hope so." she smiled, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "I went through way too much to save your ass."
Phil wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer and turned on his back, helping her settle on top of him.
He lifted his head and kissed her in return.
"Comfy?" she smiled down at him.
"Mm-hm. Very much so." he sighed.
"Love you, too." she whispered against his lips.
He smiled.