Bella is curled up in a ball on the forest floor. She doesn't move — only the words falling from her lips give any hint of life.
He's gone.
He's gone.
He's gone.
That's all she says. People look for her in the woods; a large wolf sniffs her path and finally finds her. He turns into Sam Uley and pulls some jeans on.
Bella opens her eyes and Sam stops a moment. Even in the dim light he can see the waves of heartbreak and pain that threaten to overwhelm her. When the pain finally pulls her under, Bella does not resurface.
"Alice!" Jasper said, folding her in his arms. She blinked once, but she couldn't free her mind from the haunting vision of her best friend empty.
Alice turned around in his embrace and buried her face in the crook of his neck. "Bella's hurting so much, Jasper," she shuddered. "And I can't do anything to help. She's so alone."
Jasper's face closed in on itself as he once again replayed the night he broke his family.
"I'm so, so sorry Alice," he said finally. His apology was not only for her pain, but for being the cause of it.
"It wasn't your fault," she insisted. "It was mine. If I hadn't insisted on that stupid birthday party, Bella would have been fine." She buried her face back in his neck and tried to dampen her guilt that he would feel, multiplying his own shame and remorse.
His hand stroked her hair gently and she tightened her arms around him.
"This would have happened anyway," Alice finally whispered. "Someone would have taken a snap at her, and he would have decided it wasn't worth his own heart to risk her safety."
"Damn him," Jasper said angrily. "He doesn't know how completely she depends on him for her happiness. He's got these concepts of strength that humans can't equal — and not just physical strength, but emotional strength. He can't accept that she loves him deeper than anything he's ever seen before. I felt them together."
"He'll be back," Alice said, but there was none of the surety in her voice that came with a vision. "He has to."
She drives her car hesitantly down the near-forgotten road that no one ever ventures down.
The ferns and the high grass make it hard to find her way, but Bella remembers this path. It is burned in her mind — as is every part of that night that started all of this. There's a strange expression on her face, as if she's determined to do something. What is here for her?
She gets out of her car and walks slowly to the porch steps. She doesn't go further, just stands there as if she's waiting for something. Bella is still for a moment before she seems to panic and walks quickly back to her car.
She drives away and doesn't look back.
Alice knew what Bella would find there. A house with empty windows and nothing left but the piano on the dais, covered with a white sheet. Edward hadn't wanted to bring it. The only tune he could play now was Bella's lullaby, and nobody wanted to hear that — least of all him. It was as if he were trying to drive all reminders of Bella out of his life, while still clinging to the misery and love he felt for her. As if she had never existed.
It had been cruel to say that things would be as if they had never existed, as if merely a few words could erase the love of Bella's life and her second family.
Jasper wasn't here today, as he had been the first time Alice had seen Bella. She was glad — now he couldn't feel the guilt and betrayal that ripped through her and left her trembling against the storm of emotions.
"I need to do something," she said to herself, her throat tight with tears. "I can't just stand here watching my best friend … die."
She wouldn't say anything to Edward; wouldn't mention this vision to Jasper, and would continue to exist as if this fragile human had never stolen her heart. Alice knew she would keep her promises — if she could only be sure Bella was keeping hers.
"Bella will do something desperate, Edward!" Alice had yelled, when she'd found out.
"You haven't seen anything," he had said, dangerously calm.
"I don't have to see her to know her. Bella loves you, and you're throwing it all away on the off chance that she'll just stop. Don't you know? You're her life."
"Bella promised," he'd insisted.
The conversation she'd had with Edward flashed before her mind, and Alice was thankful she hadn't had any visions of Bella killing herself. Perhaps she was staying safe.
The rain falls down as the wind steadily rises. Bella drives her car almost recklessly to the cliffs at La Push.
What is she thinking?
Bella gets out of her car, smiling gently. Her toes cling to the very edge of the cliff as the wind blows against her. She pauses; her peaceful expression is at odds with the storm brewing in the waves and the rocks below.
After an eternity it seems, the rain on her face glistening like tears, she rolls up onto the balls of her feet. She smiles and raises her hands straight up.
Bella flings herself off the cliff. Her face reflects nothing but calm, with just a hint of excitement at the jump. When she hits the water …
She doesn't resurface.
The waves of water claim her, just as the pain had that day months ago.
No.
That didn't happen.
It can't have happened.
"She promised him," Alice said, and realized how much she had been clinging to that promise as insurance that Bella would live her life out as well as she could without her soul mate.
What about Charlie? Renée? Anger flickered in the depths of her heartbreak. Didn't Bella think about them; about Edward? She can't have realized what Edward would try to do if he ever found out about her death.
"Alice?" Rosalie came in. "Alice, what's wrong?"
Alice looked up at her. Rosalie stepped back at the sheer force of pain in the tiny vampire's face.
"She killed herself," Alice moaned. "I have to go."
Rosalie was shocked and stood aside while Alice got up, dialing furiously on her little silver phone.
Once alone, Rosalie bit her lip, and dialed Edward's phone number. She called again and again — and he finally picked up on the twenty-sixth try.
This is when dead hearts break.
Thank you to j3nn and Kayla Ariev for being FANTASTIC betas! And yes, I'm aware Alice can't see werewolves ... that was a major ouchie, but I'm not going to re-write that beginning scene.