"Rachel, honey, you need to get up," whispered Kurt.

I ignore him, praying that he will just let me sleep a little longer and dream of nothing but her face. Why won't they just leave me alone, I just want to stay in this bed forever. This can't be happening, this can't be my life. That's the only thought that has been replaying in my head since I got that phone call. The phone call to tell me my wife was in a car accident and that despite their best efforts didn't make it.

"Rachel, come on I know this is hard but we need to get you ready," I hear the sadness and desperation in Kurt's voice. He's trying to be there for me, they all are really, but no one understands this feeling. No one loved her the way I did, she was my whole life and was taken away from me in an instant.

I can hear soft footsteps and silent cries as someone walks in the bedroom. I feel Kurt get off the bed and walk toward them "I've tried to get her up but she is just laying there, I don't know what to say to get her up Tina."

"Why don't you go down stairs for a little bit and I will get her ready," Tina urged while walking around the bed and sitting down on the floor right in front of my face.

Tina grabs my hand, "Rachel, I've got your clothes ready and the shower running. We need to get you ready for the funeral."

Slowly I open my eyes and look at Tina but I don't say a word. I can see her fighting with herself on what to say to help me through this. I want to yell and scream how there is no way in hell I will ever be ready for this funeral, to say goodbye to the love of my life. But I know that it won't help it won't change the fact that she is gone and I'm left here figuring out how to go on without her.

"I just got off the phone with your dads, they will be here in an hour," Tina says trying to pull on my hand to get me up. But I just lay there with a blank stare not even fully registering what she is saying. All I think of is her, all I see in my head is my wife.

Another ten minutes goes by and both of us haven't moved, Tina just keeps looking at me and I finally look at her and decide to say something. "I don't think I can do this Tina," I softly cry out.

Tina looks at me almost startled that I even spoke. "I know sweetie but we are all here for you, you are not going to go through this alone. Lets just take this one step at a time okay. All you have to do right now is just take a shower and we will go from there okay."

"Okay," is all I can force out as I slowly get up and walk toward the bathroom. Quietly I shut the door and strip off my tank top and shorts. Stepping in the shower I let the water slowly cascade down my body and I just stand there thinking of the last time I was in the shower.

Flashback

"Ugh babe," I yell out but I hear nothing in response. "Quinn," I yell again annoyed that she isn't responding.

I hear the door open and Quinn walk in "What baby? Why are you yelling?"

"Did you use the last of the shampoo?" I asked already knowing the answer. Quinn doesn't answer at first, she knows I hate when she uses the last of something and forgets to replace it. I feel the shower curtain slowly peel back and a guilty looking blonde appears and hands a new shampoo bottle to me.

I sigh and take the bottle from her. "See that's not so hard is it. When you use that last of the shampoo get under the sink and put a new bottle in the shower," I say sarcastically.

"But I like getting it for you when you are already in the shower baby," she replies giving me a sly look.

"Oh and why is that?" But before I get my answer the curtain is being pulled back and I hear Quinn walk away. I sigh in frustration wondering why she would say that and then walk off. Before I can finish that thought the curtain is being pushed back and a sexy naked blonde is climbing in.

"Because then I get to see you all naked and wet for me," she whispers in to my ear nibbling on it. My breathing is already starting to pick up and I am at a loss for words. The things this woman does to my body, I go from being irritated to all hot and bothered by just a few words and a nibble to the ear.

Gathering myself I look into Quinn's dark lust filled eyes and pull her close to me. "You are something else you know that," I reply. Quinn smirks at me and pushes her lips onto mine.

A hard knock on the door jolts me back to reality. "Rachel, your dads just got here are you almost done in the shower," Tina yells from behind the door.

"Yeah I'll be done in just a sec," I reply shaking the flashback from my head. Finishing my shower I step onto the rug and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are swollen and red, my face puffy and lifeless. I'm startled by my reflection I almost don't recognize the person in the mirror.

Zipping up my black lace dress and finishing the last of my makeup I look toward the door. I go to grab the handle and stay there for a minute. All I want to do is take this dress off climb back into bed and not deal with anyone right now. But I know that's not an option I have to get down there before they send someone else to come get me. I try to prepare myself for what is going to come next. How do I prepare for a day that I know is going to be the hardest day of my life? How do I prepare to say goodbye to my wife, best friend, and love of my life?