Hello readers! I know the summary on the search page wasn't a very good one, so here's a better summary. Hope you enjoy!
It's been two years for Susan and three for Caspian since the siblings left Narnia, and neither of them are over the brief almost-romance they had during the Pevensie's short stay. In an attempt to get Susan's mind off of it, Peter suggests the siblings visit the Professor in the country, only to find out that he has another visitor - Caspian, who has managed to make his way to Earth in an agreement with Aslan. Now the siblings must travel back to Narnia under one condition. Meanwhile back in Narnia, the hastily put together country of Narnia is on the brink of falling apart.
The first time the kings and queens of old had left Narnia it had been completely on accident. The second time was just the opposite. As she approached the gate that would take her permanently back into her own world Susan felt her heart would break. This time she wasn't just leaving what she felt was her true home, but also a man who she had come to have feelings for. She shot him one last glance over her shoulder and stepped back into her own world.
It had been two years since they'd left Narnia, and none of the Pevensie children were over the place. Each had come back changed in some way. Peter fought less, acknowledging that he was not all important. Edmund possessed a wisdom and maturity beyond even what he had gained the first time. And Lucy, small Lucy, had gained the little ability to make decisions purely for herself, without requiring anyone else's opinion. But what Susan had gained wasn't necessarily a good thing. She had started out as the most cynical and doubtful of the bunch, and their departure from Narnia, and from the Prince, had left her almost broken.
It was because of that sadness that Peter approached his sister on that particular cold, November afternoon. She sat as she often did now days, contemplative, with a pile of newly cleaned clothes she was in the middle of sorting at her feet. As Peter entered she gave him a barely visible smile.
"Can I talk to you Susan?" He asked as he crossed the room towards her. These days, talking to Susan was a dangerous affair. One mention of Narnia or Caspian, or anything that could remind her of either sent her into a mood even more quiet then her normal one.
She gestured towards a relatively empty spot on the floor next to her. "Of course, is there something wrong, oh goodness" she got a rather amused look on her face, "has Edmund gone and got himself in trouble again?"
"No, no, that's not it at all Su, Ed's fine. I wanted to talk to you about an idea."
Susan's eyes searched his suspiciously, beginning to sense one of his numerous schemes to cheer her up. Not that anyone besides her three siblings could tell anything was wrong to begin with. Her parents and friends thought that her quiet edge was just a natural part of her aging. There really wasn't much to see anyways, she was taking the loss with all the air and dignity expected of a once-upon-a-time Queen. Maybe that's what worried Peter most of all; she was so stubborn, refusing to acknowledge her pain or grief, and trying so hard to be strong for everyone else.
"I was thinking that we should all go out to the country for a bit during the fall break next week. Ed needs some fresh air and I'm sure Lucy would love to be free of mom's constant badgering about acting like a lady. I already talked to the Professor, he says we're welcome to stay with him." He rushed through this, expecting her to snap at any moment. Instead she sighed.
"Well, I'm sure it would do the younger ones some good. But I swear Peter," her gaze turned sharp and left no room for argument. "If you try to treat me like a fragile little girl while we're there I'll do something drastic."
Peter merely grinned at her in response, "I would never dare to treat you like a little girl Su, I've seen you take down men twice my size."
And then he left, dodging her swat, and congratulated himself on a job well done. Maybe she wasn't happy yet, but she had agreed to go, and that was the first step.
Susan wasn't exactly sure of the exact moment she fell in love with Caspian. She supposed that one could never really know such things. Instead she looked at the path she had taken to falling in love with him as a string of moments. The first time they'd seen each other, right after his fight with Peter, late night planning sessions in Aslan's How, the time he saved her from that Telmerine soldier, and smaller, sweeter moments that were just the two of them.
Her favorite of those moments was the night before the raid on Miraz's Castle. This was the memory she held close to her in the long nights after they'd left Narnia, and it was the memory that she turned to when nothing else in her life seemed to be going right. It was also her simplest memory, the kind that you hold so closely to you because it seems to small and perfect to ever have really existed. More then anything she feared that if she forgot it, even for a second, it would fade away into time never to be seen again. And so she took time to think about it every day at least once, fearful that it would leave her alone in a world she didn't want to understand.
She'd been sitting near the stone table in Aslan's How, unable to sleep in her worry about the upcoming battle. And she was angry, horribly angry with Peter for being so god forsaken stubborn that he was actually going through with it. In her anger she was threading feathers through her arrows in a rather more viscous manner then normal.
"Did that arrow offend you in any way your majesty?" The light, accented voice floated towards her and startled her out of her thoughts.
She looked up, blushing slightly, to see him standing above her with an amused half-smile. In that moment his beauty caught her off-guard. His hair was messy, falling over his eyes and making him look slightly boyish. What attracted her most though, was his eyes. They were a dark, pure brown, and they pulled her in every time she looked at him, pulling her towards a place she would love to lose herself in. Susan was not always the young teenage girl she was right now. She remembered what it felt like to be attracted to a man, and for men to be attracted to her, but never before had she felt it so strongly. He was certainly the most handsome man she could ever remember seeing, and something in the way he looked at her made her breath catch.
Setting down the arrow she answered him, "I suppose I'm just worried."
"About the attack tomorrow?" He silently asked her permission to sit next to her, and she granted it with a slight nod of her head.
"Yes." She sighed deeply and turned to look at him fully, "Tomorrow we're going risk the lives of many brave Narnians in a foolish attack, one that isn't even very well thought out. I'm scared for them, for our people."
His gaze burned into her, studying her so intensely that she felt he could see into her soul. "And for yourself?"
"A little," she admitted, "But more for our soldiers, they shouldn't be put into this situation. All because of Peter's infuriating pride!"
And then he'd smiled at her and touched her face lightly with his finger tips, his eyes crinkling at the edges. "Queen Susan the Gentle. You were well named."
Every nerve ending in her body seemed to respond to his touch, as light as it was. He gazed into her eyes, the smile slowly turning into something more serious, more intense. She could lose herself in those dark eyes, she thought, and be perfectly content forever. But that was not meant to be, and after a second they heard someone cough slightly behind them. Trumpkin had came to tell the Prince that new supplies had come in, and the moment was over.
Two years later Susan smiled sadly at the memory, and prayed that it would never leave her. She knew that it probably wasn't healthy to cling to the past like she did, but if she let go she was afraid nothing would be left to hold her together.
King Caspian X was having his own troubles. Not only was he unable to sleep but his thoughts were plagued with her, the only girl who would never leave him. Or at least, never leave his memory, she had already physically left him. He stood, leaning out the window in his room, and imagined her bright eyes as they danced with amusement and intelligence. There was something about her that drew him towards her even now, 3 years after the Pevensie's had left. He had hoped that time would lessen the pain of losing her, but instead all it did was sharpen the wound.
He could still remember her soft smile, the intense look she would get when concentrating on anything, and the almost smirk she put on after making a particularly difficult shot with her bow. And he could still almost smell the sweet, flowery perfume that always stayed with him after standing near her. His fists clenched on the window sill. Why couldn't he forget her? They had only known each other for a couple of months, and somewhere in there Caspian had managed to fall in love. Somewhere someone was finding some sort of amusement from this.
It wasn't that he wanted to forget her, not completely. It was just that after three years it wasn't supposed to hurt like this. Like a knife stabbing him in his gut when he remembered that he would never see her again. He shouldn't come close to crying when someone mentions her name in the past tense, or when he sees a picture of her. After three years he should have more control then this.
Behind him the door to his room opened. Only three people ever entered his room unannounced, and judging by the heavy footsteps it was Trumpkin that approached him now. Sighing he turned to face the dwarf.
"Yes Trumpkin?" He struggled to keep any sort of emotion out of his voice.
"Your presence is required in the council chambers sire." The dwarf studied him carefully, "Thinking about her everyday won't do you any good." He said, softer this time.
Caspian looked away, and hoped that his councilor hadn't seen the tears at the edge of his eyes. He knew that thinking about her this often probably did more harm then good, but it was hard not to. Reminders of her were everywhere! In the twang of an arrow being released during target practice. When someone touched his arm the same way she used to, softly gripping his shoulder in reassurance. No matter what he did he couldn't escape reminders of her.
"I know my friend," He said, his voice barely above a whisper, "But how do we let go of something that is as important to us as breathing?"
Trumpkin put a hand on his arm to steady him, "We keep going, and hope sooner or later it doesn't hurt so much."
Nodding, Caspian composed himself. There was reassurance in the dwarf's words, but also a gentle reminder that Caspian wasn't just any man. He couldn't dwell on things that took his focus off of his job. The reminder strengthened the King, and with a small smile in his friend's direction he pulled himself up and suddenly looked every inch the rightful king of Narnia. But those that knew him could see that his eyes were just a little too dark, and the corners of his mouth were turned down just slightly. He was composed though, and radiated the calm aura expected of a King.
"Well, we really shouldn't keep the Council waiting should we?"
As they approached the Professor's mansion Edmund was reminded of just how much he loved the country. Here it was easy to breathe, and to think. Unlike the noisy, crowded city. But here it was also easy to remember Narnia, because this was the first place they had ever discovered it. Ed himself remembered their first visit to the magical land with more sadness then the others. It was during that first visit that he had betrayed his siblings, and aided a tyrant that killed many innocent people. Though he had spent years making up for it, even willing to fade into the background and become a wingman instead of a leader, he still felt the quilt strongly.
His thoughts shifted from that as he looked around the carriage at his siblings faces. Peter observed the country side with a slight smile, obviously remembering the good times, or congratulating himself on a job well done. Lucy was smiling with barely contained excitement, she loved the country. Susan though was harder to read. She stared out at the landscape with a closed down expression on her face, not sad, but certainly not happy either. Peter had warned Ed of her threat when she agreed to come, and that was all that kept him from putting a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.
Instead he sighed and leaned back before speaking, "It feels good to be back."
"Yes it does," Lucy agreed, grinning at him in her happiness. "This was a wonderful idea Peter!"
The oldest of the siblings smiled at her. Out of all of them Peter was probably the closest to Lucy. He protected her, and she trusted and encouraged him. Edmunds relationship with his little sister was simpler, they could play together and be perfectly happy. Even back when they lived as Kings and Queens in Narnia, the two were able to be content together. He supposed that attitude came from being the two younger siblings, the older two had a tendency to be more serious.
He barely noticed, so lost in his thoughts as he was, when they pulled up into the driveway before the manor. The sudden stop shook him, and he exited the carriage quickly. The place was just how her remembered, it's large brick walls covered in dark vines, and the large grounds so perfect they practically begged to be ran on. He shook out his shaggy brown hair and laughed before helping Susan to step down beside him.
"It hasn't seemed to change at all." On his other side Peter was staring at the large building in wonder.
Lucy laughed at him, "Don't all the buildings at Cambridge look the same as this?"
"Not really," Peter answered, "None of them are this brilliant."
Ed grinned. When Peter had started to attend Cambridge last year, Edmund had been worried that he would forget things like Narnia, that he would be so caught up in this new adult world that such childish things wouldn't seem to matter. Instead the adventure to the new school seemed to keep Peter in better tune with his siblings. He missed them when he went away, and told Ed that he thought of them and Narnia often. That reassured the younger of the brothers; maybe growing up didn't necessarily mean forgetting. He shot a look at Susan as she moved to gather their bags together. Though sometimes the ability to remember wasn't a good thing.
"Oh Ed, don't you think this is absolutely wonderful!" Lucy exclaimed beside him as she pulled on his sleeve. "Do hurry up so we can go see the professor!"
Moving to grab his stuff Ed laughed. "A bit impatient there Lu?"
"That's what happens when you eat too much sugar on the train." Peter grinned at his little sister. "You get to be annoying."
Lucy stuck her tongue out at Peter. She may be 14, but she would always be the youngest, and carry those mannerisms. The four siblings started to move towards the house. Lucy practically jogging in the front of the group, closely followed by a laughing Peter, and Ed and Susan trailing behind.
Ed turned to observe his older sister. "Are you happy to be back Su?"
"Of course I am," Susan didn't even turn to look at him as she answered, instead keeping her gaze firmly on the building in front of them, "I'm just tired from our trip, that's all."
Her tone didn't fool Ed, she may be tired, but there was more to it then that. What that more was he could guess. The subject was tall, dark haired, and had a funny accent. As much as Edmund personally liked the current King of Narnia, he didn't appreciate the hold the man had on his sister. For the millionth time he wondered what had happened between the two to inspire the connection, and the sudden kiss they shared at the end of the siblings adventure. He didn't particularly like the idea of any guy kissing his sister, especially when it was the cause of such pain on her part.
"Are you happy to be back Ed?" Susan was obviously eager to turn the conversation's focus away from her. Reluctantly Edmund obliged.
"Yes, incredibly so. There's something terribly nice about the country. It's quieter, and there's more freedom." The noise of the city didn't bother him all that much, it was just nice to get away from it.
Susan looked a little bit sad when she answered, "There are certainly less distractions."
Before Ed had time to contemplate that remark Peter called to them from up ahead. "Will you two hurry up! We've found the Professor!"
They sped up slightly and saw Lucy hugging the elderly professor on the front steps. The connection they'd formed with him from being the only people to go to Narnia was a special one. This mansion was the only place where they didn't have to hide away their secret lives, instead they could embrace them and discuss the past as much as they wanted. Perhaps that's why Susan seemed so reluctant to finish her walk up the large driveway and greet their host. Here she couldn't hide behind the excuse that it wasn't sensible to talk about it.
As they approached the other three the professor looked up to smile at Susan and Edmund. He hadn't changed much from their last visit; he still looked as if he'd been up all night working, and his glasses still slid slightly down his nose. But he also had the same kind smile and intelligent glint in his eyes. It was that glint with which he turned to inspect Susan.
"I dare say I have a surprise that will be of interest to you in particular my dear."
Susan looked up at him suspiciously. "Me sir? Why me?"
"Well you see, I doubt any of your siblings are the young women my current house guest keeps asking after."
Now it was Peter's turn to look surprised. "Your current house guest sir? Is it someone we know?"
The professor laughed, "I certainly hope so, or else I'm more easily tricked then I like to believe. Would you like to meet him?"
The four siblings nodded apprehensively, and Professor Kirke turned back into the house and opened the door, speaking quietly to whoever was inside. Nodding reassuringly, he opened the door wider, reveling someone two of them never thought they'd see again.
King Caspian X stood in the doorway looking slightly uncomfortable in his modern day English attire of a collared shirt and trousers. His face though was lit with excitement and nervousness as he faced the four former kings and queens of Narnia. To Ed he looked only a few years older, which was strange considering the time gap between the two worlds. Caspian opened his mouth to greet them, his eyes trained on Susan, but before any words came out something even more unexpected happened.
Susan turned and ran away.