It had never been easy, the life of a warrior. No one had ever given them a choice – it was their duty, and they had to do it. For their people. And no matter how much time passed things never got easier. Friends died - and they had to helplessly watch it. Friends died - and they had been the ones responsible for it. Friends died – and they weren't their friends but they surely were someone's.
And then they had to lie to their friends, pretend they were someone else for the sake of their mission. Which was when things got more difficult. Reiner started getting confused. At times he completely forgot about the mission and thought of himself as a soldier. A member of the 104th trainees' squad. Eren's friend. And Mikasa's, and Armin's and Jean's and everyone else's really. He proved to be a very social person and though that might have been good for information gathering it wasn't as much when you were planning to destroy the Walls.
"Reiner, we're not soldiers. Remember? We're warriors."
As he had to continuously watch the smile disappear from his friend's face and the recognition kick in, his heart ached. For they were his friends too, and he too wanted to be a soldier. But he also wanted to go home, with Reiner, and he wanted things to turn out fine for the two of them. They couldn't die here, not without accomplishing their mission. And they had to go back home. They had to. At any price.
Please forgive us!