ON THEIR WAY TO FIX IT

Pairing: Ennis/Jack

Setting: Canon until 1983, then AU — No death, I'm hopelessly romantic...

Rating: NC-17 for the whole story.

Summary: Can Ennis and Jack finally 'fix it' after those awful hurting words in 1983? (This is of course a rhetorical question ) The real AU story begins from chapter 3. Chapters 1 and 2 are respecting canon and filling up some blanks.

Beta: My eternal gratitude to wanderingsmith, who made a TRULY amazing job at improving my silly stuff! Thanks again for your endless patience and your light-speed answers. You are a real gem And thanks to anyone who ever pointed out some mistakes along the way: Paola (freetraveller15) mostly, Jackien1968, Carole (bmshirts) — we miss you , Alex (rtintown), Suziesue, Antonella and Grlewis.

Support: Thanks to anyone who ever made a comment I know I don't update as regularly as I should and as regularly as I'd want to; sorry and huge thanks once more for your patience

Feedback: Yes, please, always welcome.

Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis, Jack etc etc... belong to Annie Proulx. No disrespect is intended, I'm just trying to make them (and me) happier

Warnings: M/M sex (Ennis being Ennis, they never really talked things over, you know… so IMO the way they made love WAS their way of talking), some bad language. And for information, I saw the movie before I read the book, so when the two are not fitting exactly together (Jenny/Francine, Ennis sleeping by the sheep or not, Ennis's note or phone call about his divorce, etc etc etc), I chose for the film canon.

Dedication: To Annie Proulx for creating them. To Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana, Ang Lee, Heath, Jake, Michelle, Anne, and all people involved in making that wonderful film which touched me so much in so many ways. And particularly to Heath, I promised myself to write this for him, after his tragic, far too soon disparition

/

PRELUDE: SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 24TH, 1967 (PART I)

JACK POV

Jack was driving. Towards Riverton. Towards Ennis. After 4 years.

It had all started 3 months ago, when LD had given him the schedule of agricultural machinery trade shows he wanted Jack to go to for the coming months. There was one planned in Sage, WY! The word Sage had been automatically associated with, and replaced by, another word in his mind: Ennis.

First, of course, after that damn June of '64 which had left him heartbroken and soulless while leaving Aguirre's trailer without caring at all about not having a job, Jack had tried to leave it all behind — Ennis hadn't come, so he was by now probably happily married to this Alma he had mentioned, huh. And for all Jack knew, Ennis might even have forgotten his name, so...

But Jack had soon realized that forgetting was not going to be an option for him. He had once, out of curiosity, even looked in the phone book — not that he really believed he would call anyway, huh. Maybe he just needed proof that the man he couldn't get out of his head existed for real... who knew... Unfortunately, it had only made his ache grow; it had seemed there were no Del Mars in Sage anymore…

Even while on the rodeo circuit, Jack had been unable to resist the urge to try to pick Ennis's trail back up, and he had used to check at each rodeo the entries list, and had always tried to talk with anyone from the south west of Wyoming. But he had never been successful.

And then, on a day brighter than others, he had met Lureen, who was beautiful, clever and rich enough to have anyone she could ever want but who had seemed to want him —HIM— as no one ever had — and particularly not the one who mattered the most to him. And that sure wasn't a bad feeling to let himself be swept into, huh... And if he wasn't supposed to get the one person he really wanted anyway, then he might as well follow the path that had just opened up in front of him and become the man she thought he was, or needed him to be... So the day she had told him she was pregnant, he had asked her to marry him, of course, and here he was now, married with the prettiest little gal in Childress, TX, and working for the real son of a bitch her father was...

Nevertheless, he always kept his ears and eyes open at any agricultural show he went to. Not that he ever had a choice, really; that name and its shadow always at the back of his mind... So of course, the moment he read "Sage", Jack couldn't help but feel hopeful. A show in Sage. Ennis's place. This should lead him somewhere, right... Unable to fight his dreams, Jack had started counting down the days.

And he had been lucky. More lucky than he had even dared to hope. A few hours after the opening of the show, he had heard an old rancher calling someone to discuss a few models. The name that had been called had given him goosebumps — it had definitely been "Del Mar". He had watched, transfixed, until a tall, lean figure had got close to the older rancher. Jack's heart had cringed. It hadn't been Ennis, of course. But there had been something in the man's stance which had reminded him of Ennis, and though the features were quite different, Jack had wondered if this could be K.E. When the old rancher had left him alone again, Jack had just gone for it. Putting on his most friendly smile while presenting himself, he had told the stranger that he had heard his name called out, and wondered if he was kin to one of his old friends, Ennis del Mar.

Jack had been right, it had been Kevin, Ennis's big brother. Jack had stayed really vague about his friendship with Ennis, and had said that he had moved to Texas just before Ennis should marry Alma. At the mention of Alma, Kevin had bought it and had spilled it all out quite easily. Kevin had said that he hadn't seen Ennis and Alma in years, because they had moved soon after their wedding as Ennis had found a job as a wrangler near Lost Cabin. But they had moved again. He had received a card not so long ago mentioning a new address, in Riverton.

Jack had felt a jolt through his body, the right kind of jolt he hadn't felt in years. He had found Ennis back. Ennis was in Riverton. He had been grinning and dreaming while thanking Kevin for the news and ending the conversation. He had no exact address, but he could try general delivery.

Back in Childress, Jack had spent an hour looking for the right postcard to send, looking for the mountain's view which was in some way the closest to Brokeback. He wanted to know if Ennis would agree to meet him in September. He had another show planned then near Buffalo, so he would be 'in the area'. Jack's heart had broken though, when his postcard had returned undelivered after a month. But he had known it made sense. Ennis surely had other things to do than check the post office for mail, and he wasn't settled there long enough for the postman to recognize the name and deliver it anyway. So Jack had bought and sent the same postcard again.

He'd decided by then that should he find Ennis, he would be happy enough with just talking; 'cause in the end, Ennis as a friend was surely better than no Ennis at all. Jack needed Ennis back in his life, any way possible. He hadn't been able to forget their summer on Brokeback, not while rodeoing, not after getting married, not after becoming a father. He hadn't felt so free to be himself, so connected to anyone since then. Lureen sure was a beautiful, witty, funny, generally good-tempered wife, but he couldn't help but feel he couldn't really 'open up' to her.

And, of course, he missed something else. Something Lureen would never be able to give him. Something he had tried to find occasionnally during his rodeo days, before Lureen, but had never exactly found — and he had realized too well the reason why. Something he knew Ennis could give him.

So who was he kidding... Of course Jack wanted more than Ennis's friendship. Since Brokeback, day and night, every moment he was alone, Ennis was all Jack could think about, dream about. But now that he was getting so close, Jack was afraid to get too hurt if he allowed himself to begin to believe that all his foolish dreams of the last 4 years could turn into reality. Ennis hadn't come back to Signal for the summer of '64 after all. And though Jack told himself from time to time that Aguirre probably wouldn't have told him anyway if he had, he knew the odds of this being the case were not really high.

So Jack had been totally blown away by Ennis's answer when it had arrived: YOU BET. That sounded quite enthusiastic, didn't it? Surely coming from someone as quiet as Ennis.

So now, in his truck, nearing Riverton, Jack was, of course, hoping for more. Concentrating on his work the last two days at the show had been really difficult. And now, in his truck, Jack couldn't help but remember the summer of '63. The summer that had changed his life. The summer he had fallen in love.