I Do Not Hook Up (Kelly Clarkson)
I storm into his apartment. I can't believe that he actually wouldn't let his own best friend in and he hadn't been answering my floo calls or letters for the past twelve hours. I bang into his living room fully intending to give him a piece of my mind when I see him. He's lying on his couch looking pitiful and in his hand is a bottle of firewhisky.
He isn't one to drink, so something must be wrong… or he's being a dumb ass. But I'm going to have to guess the former. "What are you doing?" I ask him. He mumbles something incomprehensible and throws his arm over his face groaning. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?" He groans at me again. I look at the bottle in his hand. He's utterly zonked.
Oh, sweetheart,
put the bottle down
You've got too much talent
I move his legs off the couch so I can sit next to him. His big hazel eyes look groggily up at me. I put my hand to his forehead and ask gently, "What's the matter? Why are you drinking?" He just groans something out, again, and I get frustrated. I pull my hand away from his forehead.
His warm hand grabs mine and puts my hand back to his head and utters out what sounded to be, "No don't… that 'eels good" I sigh and lean back to him.
I see you through those bloodshot eyes
There's a cure, you've found it
"Tell me what's wrong." It wasn't a question this time. He slowly sat up next to me.
"She broke up with me. Dumped me. For another bloke." My best friend finally admitted. "She was cheating on me in the first place apparently."
"She does not deserve for you to be sad over her. She is a whore and you should not drink over someone you're better off without." I stated simply. He let out a small smile and looked me straight in the eye. I stared right back, feeling a swooping feeling in my chest as he unwaveringly gazed at me. It looked as if he was having a similar feeling in his chest. But I couldn't know that, could I?
Slow motion, sparks
You've caught that chill
He shook his head as if to rid himself of whatever thoughts were going through his head. If he had felt what I had then he was blatantly ignoring it.
Now don't deny it
But boys will be boys
But then he gazed at me again. This time the stare became calculating. "You know what she said? When she dumped me?" He asked. I shook my head. "She said it didn't matter that she had cheated on me-" I snorted. "-because I so clearly was with you behind her back. And that's why she cheated in the first place."
"Well, she is a cow for thinking you could ever cheat on a woman. Especially with me?" I didn't mean for it to come out as a question, it just did. He just hummed in response. I looked at him just as he was looking at me earlier. "Teddy?"
"Yeah?"
"What are we exactly?"
"Whaddaya mean?" He cocked his head to the side, looking at me through his bloodshot, blue eyes.
Oh, yes, they will
They don't wanna define it
"You know."
"We're best friends. Known each other forever. Practically family. You're like my cousin." He responded. Most of my life I believed this when he said it to me. But now, for some godforsaken reason, I wasn't sure if I believed him. He'd been acting funny around me lately and my many cousins have begun to insist that my best friend in the entire world is in love with me. Though, if he is I'm not sure what I'll do because I sort of like him like that, but I've convinced myself that it's just lust. Not love. I glanced at him. I wished he'd just do something one way or the other so I'd know.
Just give up the game and get into me
Teddy seemed to read my mind. He muttered, "Victoire."
"Yes?" I responded. He moved closer. I wasn't sure what he was doing. His face leaned into mine. It got closer and closer and soon his lips brushed against mine for the briefest of seconds and my eyes fluttered closed. He kissed me again.
If you're looking for thrills then get cold feet
We started kissing more heatedly and he pressed himself closer to me. Soon enough we were in a horizontal position, with him lying on top of me on the couch. I pushed him away as his fingers brushed against the skin at the bottom of my jumper, pushing it up an inch or two. "Ted."
Oh, no I do not hook up, up, I go slow
He moved from my lips to my neck, where he started kissing along my jaw line down to my collar bone. I pushed him away more forcefully. "Ted."
He pulled away this time and looked me in the eyes. Still bloodshot, I noted, but also full of… lust? "Teddy," I said again. "We can't just- you just broke up with your girlfriend." I looked away from him. "I'm not just going to snog you in your apartment." I moved out from underneath him and off the couch. I picked up my bag and headed towards the door.
So if you want me, I don't come cheap
As I was about to open the door Teddy's hand grabbed mine and spun me around. Not letting go he looked down at me. "Victoire, don't leave, please don't leave."
"Why not?" I countered.
"I need you. I need you with me, I want you with me." He said earnestly.
Keep your hand in my hand,
your heart on your sleeve
These words stopped me from trying to leave. He said it with such meaning, I didn't know if my legs would let me leave or not. But Ted decided for me and, instead of leaving through his front door, I was pressed up against it with his lips reattached to mine. I put my hands on his chest and moved him back away from me, his lips coming off of mine. "Teddy."
Oh, no I do not hook up,
up, I fall deep
"Vic." He responded, and leaned back into me. But I sidestep him and pick up my discarded bag. I wrap my hand around the doorknob again and began to turn it.
Cause the more that you try,
the harder I'll fight
To say goodnight
His hand rests over mine and he pulls me by it into the living room, his eyes begging me to just come with him. His eyes are swimming as we both move over to the couch. I know he's thinking about her. I give his hand a squeeze.
I can't cook no,
but I can clean
Up the mess she left
We sit together on the couch. I wrap my arms around him. His head comes to rest on chest, directly over my quick heartbeat. I kiss him lightly on the forehead, a comforting gesture that we used whenever the other was feeling down.
Lay your head down and feel the beat
As I kiss your forehead
I knew that we couldn't sit here forever ignoring the fact that he had just pressed me up against his apartment door. But I'd do it for as long as it took, as long as we could hold on to normalcy for a bit longer.
This may not last but this is now
So love the one you're with
He wrapped an arm around my lower back, pulling me closer to him. I know he's hurting over her and most likely confused about what just happened. I know I am. My body is reacting now to his every touch, his every breath. But I can't let anything happen. He just had a bad break up.
You wanna chase but you're chasin' your tail
A quick fix won't ever get you well
Oh, no I do not hook up,
up,I go slow
His head moves from my heart. His nose lightly brushes along my neck, my jaw line, my cheek, until it nuzzles itself in my ear. I shiver into him. He places a light kiss at the top of my ear. He goes further down to nibble on my earlobe. I pull away. "Ted."
So if you want me,
I don't come cheap
"Sorry…" He lets out and laces his fingers thorough mine as his other hand comes up to my chin. "I can't help it."
Keep your hand in my hand,
your heart on your sleeve
I meet his gaze and he leans back to me, silencing whatever I was about to say with his lips. His body presses mine up against the armrest on the couch. I shift beneath him and he pulls away. "Teddy."
Oh, no I do not hook up,
up, I fall deep
He tries, one more time, to kiss me but I turn my head and it lands on my cheek. "Teddy." I repeat. "I should go."
Cause the more that you try,
the harder I'll fight
To say… (goodnight)
He gets up and walks to the window, running a hand through his hair. I'm left on the couch looking at him. I'm not just going to hook up with him. No matter how hard he tries. It will not end up like that between us.
Cause I feel
The distance
Between us
But …if… he actually feels something for me, then, that would be different. All he'd have to do is say so.
Could be over
With the snap of your finger
"Victoire." He turns to me and looks me square in the eye. "I'm in love with you."
Oh, no I do not hook up,
up, I go slow
This time I'm the one to walk over to him. I'm the one to gently kiss him on his lips.
So if you want me,
I don't come cheap
He pulls me closer and takes both my hands in his as he deepens our kiss.
Keep your hand in my hand,
your heart on your sleeve
I pull back. "I think I'm in love with you, too."
Oh, no I do not hook up,
up, I fall deep
He grins and leans back into me, trailing kisses across my neck. He sits down on the window seat pulling me onto his lap, not breaking our kiss. I slowly pull away for the last time and extract myself from him. "I need to go." I say.
"Why?" he asks.
Cause the more that you try,
the harder I'll fight
To say goodnight
I just smile, peck him on the cheek and say, "I'll see you at dinner."
And on my way out I take the firewhisky bottle and toss it in the trash.
Oh, sweetheart, put the bottle down
Cause ya don't wanna miss out