Summary: A take on what happened after Grimmjow and his crew's surprise attack on Karakura; how did things change for Ichigo from that moment on.
Disclaimer: I don't Bleach. I wish I did but can't change anything now. I still love it.
Author's Notes: I made it into a one-shot first because I'm not sure yet if I can come up with Rukia's POV. IchiRuki forever!
I'm seeing it again. It's the same nightmare again - playing over and over again every time I close my eyes. The whole thing lasted not even a minute but when I watch it, it takes forever to end. The scariest thing is that in my head and in my dreams it doesn't end.
It's as clear as day, the night it happened. We were just walking; side by side like always. I try to keep my strides shorter than normal so that we are almost in tune. The moment when I felt that malice, that very distinct hollow energy, I knew something bad was going to happen. Hollows have always had this negativity, this dread and this desperate energy that just sucks all your life force. I've fought with too many of them to really worry about the sadness their presence brings. But with this energy, it's just too dark and too strong, and is laced with a sadistic aggression that is just a bad omen. Then, I had no idea how much of a nightmare this meeting would be.
He calls himself Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. He reminds me of myself actually - in a sick and twisted way. bright colored hair (neon blue from where I'm standing), non-chalant yet arrogant stance, and that face - except for him it's a smirk or rather a snide that lights up that annoying face with a promise of bringing pain. Sure enough, after this whole thing, it hurt like hell.
"Which one of you is stronger?" he says. My eyes dart out to Rukia of course. With an enemy like this, she won't survive this but I'm already too late.
All I see is red and something is sticking out of Rukia's stomach. What the hell is that?
She tries to warn me by shouting "Ichigo, run~" but it's cut short by a hand through her gut.
It's a nightmare from when I was younger repeating itself. When I look back, my mother is already unmoving. But this time, I look to my side and Rukia's being taken away from me, possibly for eternity. Shinigamis are already dead there's no more place for them to go. Nowhere I can follow her and bring her back from.
It only takes a second for his hand to get through her small frame. In just a second, I've already lost her.
I don't have enough power to get to her in time, to shove her just a little bit so she'd be safe from that. Not enough. Nothing I do, nothing I am is ever enough to keep the people I treasure safe.
[Well... if you stop being a pussy long enough, maybe we can finally get stronger.]
In all my musings, I had forgotten I wasn't along in my head. Now, I'm actually wondering how he managed to shut up this long.
[pussy! pussy! pussy! that's what y're. get off y're stinkin' ass and let's get this show on the road.]
power. that's what I need. that's what I want. I swore to myself that when I received Rukia's power the first time that I will use it to protect. but I wasn't able to do that. I was weak.
[yes, you still are, King. if you'd scoot over and let me take control the last time that blue punk ass kitty showed up, and then we wouldn't be in this mess. this sappy sob story is getting on my nerves. I could be sexin' up Rukia right now.]
now that hit a nerve.
[shut it you punk! you are NOT to touch Rukia ever! I know what I have to do so shut you're trap.]
do I? In the back of my mind, I had known all along what I needed to do and who I need to turn to. Power is not the problem. I have that in spades. What I need is control - the ability to control all the power at my disposal.
I don't know how long I've been sulking. The ceiling of my bedroom has been my view for a number of days now, but I finally get up and out. Since the encounter, Rukia has been healing up at Urahara's. Inoue's good at what she does but she still needs to recover some reiatsu on her own.
It doesn't take long before I'm staring at the wooden doors of the shop. Flash step is pretty handy. Like a mind reader, the door slides open to reveal Tessai.
"Oh Kurosaki-san, we're been expecting you."
Walking in, seems like nothing has changed. Urahara's in his usual spot at the end of the aisle. With a fan and his hat covering his face only showing one eye from the cut I made on his hat.
"Saa... Kurosaki-san. It's been a while. But I'm sure it's not my sunny personality and epic stories you can to see. She's resting in the back; in the last door to the right.
The shoten isn't huge. But I feel like it took hours to get to the front of her door. I've always been sucky at sensing reiatsu so I'm not sure what I'll find when I open the door. Gods, I hope she isn't awake. I wouldn't know what to say with her huge eyes staring at me. But no day, like today.
I squeeze my eyes shut while I'm sliding the door.
[What a wuss.]
Yeah, I know. But no sound, no movement, no reaction from her is a good sign. I can see her sleeping on a futon. There are no more marks on her or perhaps those are just covered by the sheets and her kimono. Snippets of that nightmare flash through my eyes as I walk towards her. I will never ever forget it; just like how my mother's memory still haunts me from time to time.
I sit just beside her and silence follows. It is welcomed while I'm composing myself.
[or being a wuss is what you mean. hahahah.]
It really sucks that you're in my head. There's no peace but it's the right kind of push I need.
"Hey, Midget." I don't know how to follow that up but I just go with whatever comes to mind. No sense trying to think now.
"I... I guess I'd start with I'm sorry. This, you lying there trying to recover, should not have happened. I shouldn't have let it happen. I'm sorry. If you were awake, I'm pretty sure I'd have your foot in my gut already or smack to the back of my head. Heheh." There's still no reaction from her unmoving body. And, so, I continue.
"But this silence of yours is good. I'm not yet worthy to hear what you have to say or whatever comforting jabs you'll give me to cheer me up. I'm not ready to hear it. Let me get stronger Rukes. Just a little bit of time to get much much stronger. After then, no one can hurt you anymore."
I'm sure I'd get an ass kicking from that statement. Rukia is the kind of girl who doesn't want any help because she can take care of herself. She's proven that already in the past. She's a strong-willed, independent, and driven woman.
"...Your strength and determination make me so proud you're my first mentor. It's time I learn on my own. Master this power of mine so that no one can touch you. I swear to you. I will be stronger."
Silence. I take a long hard look at her face. Silky and milky skin glowing in the night. Huge eyes are covered right now but there's no way to forget those deep violet pools. Small but perky nose and pouty lips.
My fingers comb through her hair just a little bit so as not to disturb her. Brushing gently on her cheek.
"Maybe after then, I'd be worthy of you."
I know if you were awake, your eyes and you wit will disarm me the moment I enter the room. I also know that I would never have the courage to do this without you if you were awake. Before I could stop myself, I place a small kiss on her forehead and one more on her lips.
"For now, I'll see you soon, Midget. Get well soon."
I rise from my position and leave the room. There's no going back now. Without me noticing, my feet take me to where I need to go. It's a warehouse. Looks to be abandoned but I wouldn't be here if it really was.
When I enter, a familiar mop of short blonde hair perfectly cut greets me accompanied by that mysterious smile.
There's no turning back. It's time to move forward.