Outside where butterflies are flying
and the sun is shining
Am I sitting on a tree with the sun on my face
I think about life, how nice it could be. A loving wife, kids, and maybe
even a dog.
I have a job. I'm married to my job.
I don't have a personal life. Well I race cockroaches and collect
butterflies.
'Since when are you interested in beauty?'
'Since I met you.'
That was a slip from my tongue. Even when I called her Honey.
But I don't regret that. I really don't. I am interested in her because she
is beautiful.
I'm almost afraid to admit it, but I love her.
Sara, that's her name. It sounds like honey on my lips.
I even wrote a poem for her once. It was just a dash.
It goes like this:
'Like a moth to a flame
Am I attracted to you
Your presence will light up a room
Even when you're gone
Your smile as bright
As the first sunbeams in the morning
Your eyes as soft
As the clouds on a sunny day
Your eyes show me all the love you got
And that you are willing to give me that
Even if you know this cane go wrong
You are willing to sacrifice your live for me
And that's why I love you so much!
Like a moth to a flame
Am I attracted to you'
I think I'm going to write that to her. I surely can't tell her that face
to face.
It scares the hell out of me.
And I never show my emotions, because my love for her is so strong that it
sometimes hurts when I see her and can't touch her.
I'm home again.
There's a message on my machine.
It's Sara, she has called in sick.
Short but stunning message. She never calls in sick. She's never sick. Even
when she is sick she's working.
I have to see her if she is okay.
NO.............
I can't do that!!!
She will think I'm going to drag her into work
But I care. I really care about her.
I'm going to write her that poem.
Okay.......uhm.... what do I need?
Pen and paper.
No I want a card. A beautiful card.
Card....shop...card...car....keys...
Money. Of course I need money!
I just drove to the store without thinking where I was going.....
I need to find a book store or some kind.
What was that??? Oh.... A beautiful card....
It's blue like the sky, with a sunset and on the foreground a flower with a
butterfly.
It's brown with deep blue... Somehow it reminds me of her.
Back home again.
Now I need to write the poem on that card.
Pffffffff......... that's hard. I can't do it.
My hand is shaking. How stupid can that be... It's just a card..
That's it it's just a card. For Sara!! My Sara!!!
Damn.....
Okay done with the card.. finally. We're two hours later now.
I have 4 hours before shift... and I haven't slept yet. This is going to be
a loooong night........
First a nice shirt.
That blue one I bought yesterday. It suits me.... At least I think.
Car keys. Where did I put those things. Ah.. found them on the kitchen
counter.
I forgot something.... What is it..... think, think, think.......
The card..... you stupid ass!!!! You forgot the most important thing.
You forgot the card... Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Well I'm not that young anymore.
Okay go, go, go...
Before I chicken out again.
Just like she asked you to dinner. The most simple answer 'No'.
Well it looked like it helped then because my hearing was drooping.
I can't use that excuse anymore, because surgery worked.
I'm in front of her house now. And I really don't now how I got here in the
first place.
Gees.... my hands are soaked. Wipe, wipe, wipe..... clean pants when I'm home.
I'm leaving the car now. Breathe..... keep breathing.
It's not cool when you pass out in front of the girl, no woman, you love.
Breathe in and out....... Good. That looks like it.
Up the steps, keep going...
You're not leaving. Not until you drop off that card.
Now I'm standing in front of her door. I hear some soft singing.
I love it when she sings along with the radio.
I stay and listen for a wile.
Now I have some time to make up my mind, how I'm going to handle this.
Ow right, there is no 'this'. Well define 'this'. I think it's 'us'. Yeah..
I know for sure...
I've been standing here 20 minutes now.
Oh my god....... I just wasted 20 minutes.... 20 minutes.
Knocking now..... knocking again...
Waiting.... I hear her yelling at me that she's out in a minute.
She doesn't know it's me. I think if she knew she would keep me standing
here. Ha ha ha.. That wasn't funny.
Here we go.
"What are you doing here Grissom? Didn't you get my message?"
"Yeah I got that... I was wondering if you where okay."
"Yes I'm okay. So you can leave now, okay?"
No I'm not leaving... I haven't given her that card yet...
"Uhm.. Sara? Can I come in for a moment?"
Now I have to do it.... Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. My mind is screaming at
me!!
You now what? I'm not listening!!!
Sight "Sure"
Well I'm in now. Her place is nice. I like it. And there is still music
playing. Hey I know that song.... It's Anastacia – Left outside alone.
"Left broken empty in despair
Wanna breathe can't find sir
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way
And I wonder if you know how it really feels
to be left outside alone
when it's cold out here
well maybe you should know
just how it feels
to be left outside alone
to be left outside alone......."
I have to ask.
"I didn't know you liked Anastacia. I like that song. It sounds like me."
Did I just say that?
Well looking at Sara, I think I did.
Her eyes are as big as sausages!!
"Uhm.... Well I think sounds like me too sometimes. When I feel like shit."
Oh my... I really hurt her didn't I?? Man... It hurts to see her in such pain.
"Sara I have something for you. Here take it and please don't read it
before I'm out, okay?!"
And I'm leaving now, before she can stop me somehow.
That went well. I guess. I hope.
Shit....... Dropt my keys. Damn. Why do I have to be so clumsy. It doesn't suit
me.
Off we go. Back home. I hope she liked it. The card.
First things first. A nice cold beer. Oops not allowed. I have to work
tonight.
Damn. Well then a nice cold glass of water........
Now coffee. Fresh coffee. And a hot shower.
It helps me relax most of the times. Not tonight. I keep thinking about
Sara.
There's someone at my door. I hope it's Sara but I think it's Cath. She
probably wants to know what I have done to Sara. Well until an hour ago
nothing.
Holy cow..... it is Sara.
My hair is still wet from the shower. I don't care but it leaves some spots
on the collar from my shirt.
"Hey Sara. How are you doing? Would you come in or what?"
"Hey. I just read your card. And uhm.... Do you really love me??"
"Yes Sara. I really love you!!"
Oh now what?! She starts to cry. God what did I do? What did I say??
"God sorry Sara... I didn't.........."
"I love you to Grissom. I love you for so long now. I didn't expect those
words from you after al these years."
"Sorry I'm so late. Not too late I hope?"
"No you're not."
"Good!"
And we are kissing. And she is like heaven!! I'm floating now. I think.
Well it feels like it.
There pops a new poem into my head. Spontaneous.
I have to remember it, write it down and give it to her.
'Your fingers caressing my skin
Your touch as soft as butterfly wings
Your lips so sweet, tasting like strawberry
Your hair so soft as silk
I can feel you trembling in my hands
When we make love
When you call my name when you reach your climax
I love it...
I love you'
Your dearest Gil Grissom
The End
and the sun is shining
Am I sitting on a tree with the sun on my face
I think about life, how nice it could be. A loving wife, kids, and maybe
even a dog.
I have a job. I'm married to my job.
I don't have a personal life. Well I race cockroaches and collect
butterflies.
'Since when are you interested in beauty?'
'Since I met you.'
That was a slip from my tongue. Even when I called her Honey.
But I don't regret that. I really don't. I am interested in her because she
is beautiful.
I'm almost afraid to admit it, but I love her.
Sara, that's her name. It sounds like honey on my lips.
I even wrote a poem for her once. It was just a dash.
It goes like this:
'Like a moth to a flame
Am I attracted to you
Your presence will light up a room
Even when you're gone
Your smile as bright
As the first sunbeams in the morning
Your eyes as soft
As the clouds on a sunny day
Your eyes show me all the love you got
And that you are willing to give me that
Even if you know this cane go wrong
You are willing to sacrifice your live for me
And that's why I love you so much!
Like a moth to a flame
Am I attracted to you'
I think I'm going to write that to her. I surely can't tell her that face
to face.
It scares the hell out of me.
And I never show my emotions, because my love for her is so strong that it
sometimes hurts when I see her and can't touch her.
I'm home again.
There's a message on my machine.
It's Sara, she has called in sick.
Short but stunning message. She never calls in sick. She's never sick. Even
when she is sick she's working.
I have to see her if she is okay.
NO.............
I can't do that!!!
She will think I'm going to drag her into work
But I care. I really care about her.
I'm going to write her that poem.
Okay.......uhm.... what do I need?
Pen and paper.
No I want a card. A beautiful card.
Card....shop...card...car....keys...
Money. Of course I need money!
I just drove to the store without thinking where I was going.....
I need to find a book store or some kind.
What was that??? Oh.... A beautiful card....
It's blue like the sky, with a sunset and on the foreground a flower with a
butterfly.
It's brown with deep blue... Somehow it reminds me of her.
Back home again.
Now I need to write the poem on that card.
Pffffffff......... that's hard. I can't do it.
My hand is shaking. How stupid can that be... It's just a card..
That's it it's just a card. For Sara!! My Sara!!!
Damn.....
Okay done with the card.. finally. We're two hours later now.
I have 4 hours before shift... and I haven't slept yet. This is going to be
a loooong night........
First a nice shirt.
That blue one I bought yesterday. It suits me.... At least I think.
Car keys. Where did I put those things. Ah.. found them on the kitchen
counter.
I forgot something.... What is it..... think, think, think.......
The card..... you stupid ass!!!! You forgot the most important thing.
You forgot the card... Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Well I'm not that young anymore.
Okay go, go, go...
Before I chicken out again.
Just like she asked you to dinner. The most simple answer 'No'.
Well it looked like it helped then because my hearing was drooping.
I can't use that excuse anymore, because surgery worked.
I'm in front of her house now. And I really don't now how I got here in the
first place.
Gees.... my hands are soaked. Wipe, wipe, wipe..... clean pants when I'm home.
I'm leaving the car now. Breathe..... keep breathing.
It's not cool when you pass out in front of the girl, no woman, you love.
Breathe in and out....... Good. That looks like it.
Up the steps, keep going...
You're not leaving. Not until you drop off that card.
Now I'm standing in front of her door. I hear some soft singing.
I love it when she sings along with the radio.
I stay and listen for a wile.
Now I have some time to make up my mind, how I'm going to handle this.
Ow right, there is no 'this'. Well define 'this'. I think it's 'us'. Yeah..
I know for sure...
I've been standing here 20 minutes now.
Oh my god....... I just wasted 20 minutes.... 20 minutes.
Knocking now..... knocking again...
Waiting.... I hear her yelling at me that she's out in a minute.
She doesn't know it's me. I think if she knew she would keep me standing
here. Ha ha ha.. That wasn't funny.
Here we go.
"What are you doing here Grissom? Didn't you get my message?"
"Yeah I got that... I was wondering if you where okay."
"Yes I'm okay. So you can leave now, okay?"
No I'm not leaving... I haven't given her that card yet...
"Uhm.. Sara? Can I come in for a moment?"
Now I have to do it.... Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. My mind is screaming at
me!!
You now what? I'm not listening!!!
Sight "Sure"
Well I'm in now. Her place is nice. I like it. And there is still music
playing. Hey I know that song.... It's Anastacia – Left outside alone.
"Left broken empty in despair
Wanna breathe can't find sir
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way
And I wonder if you know how it really feels
to be left outside alone
when it's cold out here
well maybe you should know
just how it feels
to be left outside alone
to be left outside alone......."
I have to ask.
"I didn't know you liked Anastacia. I like that song. It sounds like me."
Did I just say that?
Well looking at Sara, I think I did.
Her eyes are as big as sausages!!
"Uhm.... Well I think sounds like me too sometimes. When I feel like shit."
Oh my... I really hurt her didn't I?? Man... It hurts to see her in such pain.
"Sara I have something for you. Here take it and please don't read it
before I'm out, okay?!"
And I'm leaving now, before she can stop me somehow.
That went well. I guess. I hope.
Shit....... Dropt my keys. Damn. Why do I have to be so clumsy. It doesn't suit
me.
Off we go. Back home. I hope she liked it. The card.
First things first. A nice cold beer. Oops not allowed. I have to work
tonight.
Damn. Well then a nice cold glass of water........
Now coffee. Fresh coffee. And a hot shower.
It helps me relax most of the times. Not tonight. I keep thinking about
Sara.
There's someone at my door. I hope it's Sara but I think it's Cath. She
probably wants to know what I have done to Sara. Well until an hour ago
nothing.
Holy cow..... it is Sara.
My hair is still wet from the shower. I don't care but it leaves some spots
on the collar from my shirt.
"Hey Sara. How are you doing? Would you come in or what?"
"Hey. I just read your card. And uhm.... Do you really love me??"
"Yes Sara. I really love you!!"
Oh now what?! She starts to cry. God what did I do? What did I say??
"God sorry Sara... I didn't.........."
"I love you to Grissom. I love you for so long now. I didn't expect those
words from you after al these years."
"Sorry I'm so late. Not too late I hope?"
"No you're not."
"Good!"
And we are kissing. And she is like heaven!! I'm floating now. I think.
Well it feels like it.
There pops a new poem into my head. Spontaneous.
I have to remember it, write it down and give it to her.
'Your fingers caressing my skin
Your touch as soft as butterfly wings
Your lips so sweet, tasting like strawberry
Your hair so soft as silk
I can feel you trembling in my hands
When we make love
When you call my name when you reach your climax
I love it...
I love you'
Your dearest Gil Grissom
The End