"Edward..."
He stood there, his solid black, beautiful eyes boaring into mine. Though he looked calm, hatred showed in every line on his breathtaking face. Everything was dark; all I could see was him, and my translucent white skin, almost glowing in the emptiness. He walked silently over to me, and crouched down to my level, the ground. Only now had I realized that I was lying on the cold concrete, my stomach face down. It was cold. But his expression stung more...
"What's going on..?" I managed to choke out. Something was burning in my hand, and stinging in the back of my head.
"You really should stop the bleeding, though, I see no point in you surviving, actually, it seems rather humorous." He said in his velvety voice, though...it seemed sinister.
"Bleeding..." I repeated, was that what I felt? And sure enough, blood was trickling slowly toward my out-reached arm, I was too weak to raise it, but there it lay.
"But of course, I can clean it up...if that's what you desire..." he whispered, "It would be no trouble..." He inched closer to me, dabbing up a single drop of my blood with his ring finger. I shivered. There was no way out, no escape...no more hope. He slowly moved toward me, teeth bore, on each side where the canine teeth would be, fangs hung. I never would have thought that the most important thing in the world to me would be the one to take my life. Strangely enough though, I didn't feel the least bit frightened. Only...empty. His face was centimeters from mine, I could feel his warm, sweet breath on my throat, I prepared myself for excruciating pain. And he was gone. I was left alone in the darkness to bleed to death. That's not what scared me. It was the feeling of complete loneliness, of nothingness. I was left to suffer...alone. I panicked.
"Edward...Edward. Somebody, please... Help me..." I started with almost no voice, but after a few more calls, I was screaming. "Somebody help! Oh, please God, somebody help me, please!"
I awoke to a large thud, and my head still hurt, but it wasn't stinging, it was like I'd hit it on something. I couldn't move my arms, and I was a little too warm for comfort. It was still dark, but I recognized the room I was in right away. Mine.
I was on the bedroom floor, must've fallen out of bed, and I was tangled up in my sheet, hence, my lack of freedom to my arms. I must have really been thrashing around.
After freeing myself from the blanket I looked at the time, 5:30 a.m., rolling my eyes, I threw the blanket back on my bed and collapsed on top of it. Every night was the same, the same dream. The walls were too bland, it bothered me. Maybe I could hang something up.
After about 45 minutes, I heard Charlie's cruiser pull out of our gravel driveway. I needed to get up and get ready for school...I was seriously considering skipping today, but I needed to see him. He was the reason I went to school at all now. I sighed and slid my legs off the side my bed. The wooden floor was chili, but I was used to it. It was supposed to snow today...whoopie.
I got in the shower, no hot water…great. Though, I'd gotten into this competition with Edward, he always smells so good, I was kind of curios what else (other than blood) I smelled like. So I scrubbed to the point of bleeding and got out of the 40 degree water. I blow-dried my hair and walked out over to my room in a towel.
Just before I'd gotten into my room I heard a voice.
"So…How was the water..?" asked a voice only perfect enough for an angel. But as nice as it was, I screamed.
"…I told you…I didn't need a ride…" I said, my hand over my chest.
"Maybe I didn't come to give you a ride… Maybe I just came to turn off the hot water. Or, since my feelings for you run deep, I came to say hello…and that I love you." He said gently, in a second he was by my side.
"That's going to take some getting used to. Why in the name of God did you turn off the warm water?" asked irritably.
"Gives you goose bumps…It's cute." He said softly.
"I'm glad my resentment toward cold water gives you joy. Now, if you don't mind, I need to get dressed. We have school."
"Okay…I'll be down stairs."
After he left I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. He saw me in a towel. That shouldn't bother me…why is it? I thought. I looked at myself in the mirror, scanning my body for imperfections. Ew…look at me, I'm huge. My legs…I could feed an entire cute for weeks. I pulled off my towel; exposure to the breeze gave me goose bumps. After pulling on some underwear, pants and a bra, I stared at myself in the mirror, my bare stomach unnaturally pale. I poked at a spot a little above my belly button, my finger sunk slightly into my belly. Ugh…I'm fat. I thought to myself. I'd never thought as myself as fat. Only now was I beginning to think my stomach bulged out a little too much.
I pulled on a blue hoodie shirt and headed down stairs. Sure enough, there he was at the bottom. Perfect. To sum it up. He smiled my favorite crooked smile and met me at the bottom of the stairs. I stopped suddenly, four stairs away from him. Confusion sparked onto his face. His arms outstretched, as if waiting for me to jump into them. I just stood there.
"Not really miss joy today are we?" He said, the smile beginning to fade. He almost looked hurt.
"I'm sorry…I just…well…I'm sorry." Was all I managed to say. I looked away, out the window, and of course, there were little white snowflakes falling slowly. Edward seemed to notice my glance.
"Still rejecting my ride offer?" He asked.
"Yeah…I'll be fine. Don't worry 'bout little old me." I chuckled.
"Isabella Swan, telling me not to worry about you is like asking me if I had any good dreams lately, it'd be impossible. And I know how much you hate driving in the snow. Especially in that heap of metal you call your car.
"Oh, shut up. My car was created before your car was even a twinkle in the designer's eye." I laughed, shoving him playfully. By now I was on the same stair as him. Something about him drew me to him unconsciously. He picked me up, breathing on my neck, it sent a chill up my body but it did feel nice. He kissed me lightly, I stopped breathing. When our lips parted, I inhaled quickly, gasping for air.
"You really should warn me when you're about to do that. It'll kill me one day." I goofed.
"Yes well… You're going to have to live with it."
"I'm sure I'll get used to it…If you do it enough." I whispered.
"Oh, don't worry about that…"
"I love you…"
"I love you too…"
My irritation was reborn as we climbed into the shiny silver Volvo. However many times I tell him I can drive myself, he shows up anyway. Not that I minded seeing him, but sometimes I get the feeling he thinks I can't take care of myself. Edward looked over at me, smiling slightly. I eyed him.
"What?" I barked. His smile only grey wider. I raised my eyebrow. "Can I help you..?" He only laughed and grabbed my hand.
"Jake's coming over today after school. You gonna be there?" I asked. His smile faded.
"Not today…" He said thoughtfully. I looked up at him.
"How come?"
"Plans."
And then it was over. I wasn't going to pry today. It didn't seem bad, so…why irritate him. We pulled into the school grounds. He stopped in his usual spot. I was walking through the parking lot. Edward wasn't next to me. I stopped.
"Edward?" I asked. We were really early, so I was completely alone. "Hey…Where'd you go?" I asked again, a little louder. I heaved out a long sigh and turned around, away from the entrance of the parking lot. "Edward…"
"BELLA LOOK OUT!" Shouted a girls voice. Out of nowhere, I heard tires screech. I swung my head around to see my truck speeding at me. Much faster than it's limited speed.
Before my head was even completely around, the truck smashed into me. I shut my eyes, praying that I was dead…or that I was going to die. The pain was unimaginable. I was sure every bone in my body was snapped in two…or powder. I felt the cold asphalt pound onto my broken shoulder. I heard the engine rev. The car was coming back. My eyes stayed open as the tires came closer. By this time, I was awaiting this to happen, I wanted to die. The pain was unbearable. The tiers screeched again as it sped faster toward me. The last thing I felt was a swift blow to my stomach.
"She's conscious!" Said a creamy voice. Everything hurt.
"Bella…Bella, dear. Are you okay, sweetie..?" A gentle voice said above me. I shut my eyes tight, the light above was blinding, even through my eyelids.
"Nnh…huh..?" I couldn't speak. After a second, I coughed, then wailed in pain, nothing could ever describe that amount of pain. I felt something warm running from my mouth to my chin. A low growling mumbled around the room. Jasper.
"Bella, Hun can you hear us?" Asked the creamy voice. I groaned. Then I heard his voice.
"Bella…I'm so…so very sorry. This is my fault, I wasn't fast enough. I let this happen…Bella…I don't deserve to be forgiven." He said, as though on the brink of tears.
"Edward… It's…fine…" I breathed.
"Don't try to speak…You're still in critical condition." Carlsile's voice whispered. I obeyed.
"S-still...?" Asked a wary, but deep voice.
"Jake..?" I asked. A little louder.
"Shh…Bells. It's okay…We're all here. Alice and Jasper and Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, even Charlie." Jake sighed.
"We're all here for you…" Esme's voice sang. Edward began to hum my lullaby. I started shaking.
"What's going on? What happened?" I asked, almost clearly.
"Hush, love. It'll all make sense soon…" Edward whispered in my ear. His breath cold now, much unlike this morning.
"What time is it?" I asked, my eyes trying to open.
Emmett chuckled. "About three days after your little collision." I tensed. Three days? Oh, god.
"I'm still in critical condition...?" I whispered. Edward put his cool hand on my face.
"Yes, we've had to jolt you a few times. We lost you a few times. There's still that chance…" Edward broke off. I slowly opened my eyes, he stared into them. His face was so weak, so defenseless. "Dear me Bella, what happened to the color in your eyes..?" He breathed. I grinned.
"The light's so bright…What'd you do…dissect me?" I teased.
"Everything but." Carlisle retorted. "Almost every bone in your body, shattered." I closed my eyes, doing my best to remember the incident. Everything was blurry as Carlisle turned off the light. I could see their outlines. Jake and Emmett being the biggest. Young Alice clinging to my blankets, as though I would fall if she let them go, Rosalie was at the corner of my bed, looking only mildly pleased that I was awake. I figured Jasper was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. And then…Him. His blur began to fade, even when I was barley able to see him he looked so afraid, weak, helpless. It hurt so much worse to see the details. Though, his features remained absolutely perfect. His snow white skin, his smoldering Topaz eyes, his bronze hair that he was currently growing longer, fell over his eyes slightly, and his scent, though he wasn't even leaning over me, I could smell him easily. It was intoxicating. But the normally small, bruise-like circles under his eyes were abnormally large. As though –even though impossible- he truly needed sleep. Like he'd stayed up for days strait worrying, which I guess was true. Looking at him closely, paying attention to the details on his extraordinary face, I saw it. The non-stop worry, his eyes looked sad, tired. The circles weren't black like they normally were, they were purple. It almost looked as though he had black eyes. As soon as I tried to reach my hand up to feel his fragile face, I winced. Carlisle wasn't lying…Almost every bone…broken. Edward smiled sadly at me.
"Don't move…not now…" He whispered. Putting his hand on mine. I winced slightly, but hoped he'd keep it there.
"It's like you're made of glass…really, really thin glass…" Jake spoke up, whispering the last part. I looked up at him, he looked wide awake. I smiled at him.
"Hey Jake…how long have you been here?" I asked hoarsely. His eyes darted from me to the clock and back.
"Since you hit the stretcher." He joked. "I suggest you don't look under your blanket either, Bells, if you still don't like blood." He said, I could see the amusement in his eyes though. Edward looked up at him warningly. Narrowing his tired eyes slightly. Oh no… How much blood..? Whatever color I had left in my face drained out. Edward shot another look at Jacob.
"Don't worry Bella…You're all stitched up no more bloodshed." He said softly, reassuring me slightly.
I felt it coming, and I hoped to God that it was a false alarm…no, no, no. I could feel it in my nose, I blinked a few times and then…it happened.
"Ah choo!" I squirmed, pain shooting up my body with every quick beat of my heart. And then…I was numb. I could see everyone running around the room, looking frightened. The numbness began to fade as it became harder to breathe. Carlisle ran up to me, through the faded black I could see, he was holding something. As he paced I could feel my blankets getting ripped off, my bones didn't appreciate that. There was a cool air on my chest. Panic was thick in the atmosphere. The two cold…what felt like the shapes of irons, were on me. Zap.
"Clear!" I heard Carlisle yell. A strange feeling went through my body. A couple times. And then… it was quiet.
Everything went black. And it felt like the time James had attacked me, and when I'd jumped off the ledge. Like I was underwater, and I could hear that one angel, calling my name. But it was slipping away… Quieter and quieter…
"Bella…" It sang. My angel was in suffering. I could hear the pain and fear in his tone. I tried to find it… I was afraid he was going to drift. "Bella…" Said it's magical voice. "Don't let go…" I couldn't…And soon the voice was gone. I cried out for it. Only to be met by my own silence. Then I felt myself slipping away…My own spirit slowly fading away. And everything was gone. I knew I was dead. Never to hear Edwards voice again, never to feel his touch…ever again.
"…She's gone…" Carlisle whispered. I sat in the corner of the room, watching as the entire Cullen clan, Jacob, and Charlie went completely still.
"I-I…need to go call Renee'." Charlie said in a hoarse whisper. He left the room.
"We can still bring her back…" Edward said softly. I continued to sit there, my attention perked up though. I noticed Jake look up too.
"Edward…" Alice said gently, setting her fragile hand on his shoulder. I got up and walked over to them. Wanting to pull my angel into the biggest hug I could conger up. I set my hand on his shoulder, knowing he couldn't feel me there. For I was nothing more than a delayed soul. I couldn't feel him either.
"I can't, I won't… Not to her…" Edward couldn't speak clearly. I wanted so badly just to pull him into me.
"Please…" I whispered. I wasn't ready to leave him. I never would be. So I held on. I wasn't going to. I'll watch him…I'll be his angel now, I'll protect him.
Everybody went up to my empty body, oblivious to the fact that I was behind everyone. Edward placed his cool hand on my lifeless face, I was never to feel his cool touch…he'd never feel my warmth…ever again. My spirit was all I had left of myself, I still had the form of my body, but I was the only one who knew. I looked up from Edward to see Alice staring directly into my eyes. I stared back, knowing she must be having a vision, there was no way she could see me. She blinked and looked away, but her eyes would flutter back to me every now and then. I gave up trying to figure it out and walked back over to Edward. I'd only seen him from the back…I came around to look into his beautiful face. What I saw finished tearing up the remains of what I called my heart. Tears. My hero…my angel…my world was crying. His lip quivered. He on the verge of sobbing. I couldn't handle seeing that, so I looked away. Which hurt just as much. Was I so horrible that I couldn't even look at him cry. I walked silently back over to my body and stared at my pale white face, emotionless. Look what I'd done to him… Why couldn't I hold on?
"…Please…" Jacob piped up. I looked over at him. He too, was crying. "…Bring her back…any of you…" He choked. The Cullen's stared at him, shocked. "…None of us can survive without her…Especially you." He said, eyeing Edward.
"You don't understand what I'd be doing to her." Edward breathed. "She'd suffer…she's be damned for eternity."
"Look at us! Look at you" He shouted.
"You want her to suffer…for your own selfish needs." Edward said darkly, it wasn't a question. "I want nothing more to see her again as well, to hear her laughter, to feel her warmth… But I won't do that to her. She's at peace now."
"No! No I'm not, Edward please, I need you… Don't give up on me…" I cried. Alice looked up again. I stared at her. And looked away.
"I won't." He decided.
I could tell his decision was final. I broke down. "Edward Please! Don't let go of me! I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…Please don't give up…I need you! I'm sorry…" I cried. "I've never needed anything more than you…ever, and I never will…I promise…I promise…I love you so much… Edward…Edward…" I was babbling by now.
Alice continued to stare at my body. "…Bring her back… Edward…She needs you…She's still here…she can hear you…" Alice whispered. Edward looked up, surprised.
"Come again?" He looked confused. Alice pointed directly at me.
"She's crying…Edward…She can still feel the pain of losing you…It's so much worse then the pain of the transformation…Figure it out…She's suffering now…She won't move on without you…" Alice pleaded.
"You…can see me..?" I asked, astonished.
She just continued to stare at me. Maybe she could feel my presence…or something.
Edward stared at her like she was crazy.
"She doesn't understand what she's asking for…if what you're saying is true. She has no idea what pain would be waiting ahead. Never dying…Watching those you love so dearly…disappear one by one. Nobody wants that." He muttered.
"What about you Edward? You're watching your existence slip away, right before your eyes. We don't want to see her leave…We'd be losing both of you. She goes…you do too." Rosalie chimed. I looked up, surprised. Though Rosalie and I had gotten on better terms, she'd still never stuck up for me. I watched Rosalie's eyes target Edward's. He stared back, torn.
I wiped away my previous tears and walked silently over to Rosalie, wondering if she could see me too. Her eyes darted from Edward's to Alice, fear in them. As though she was worried about what Edward would do now. My body's face was an ashy grey. It looked like I was sleeping. I laughed to myself, imagining myself waking up and reassuring Edward that I was just taking a catnap.
"What would we tell Charlie?" Edward protested. Trying to find a way out of this. Carlisle looked up, regret written in his onyx black eyes.
"The truth."
Everybody went still, including Jacob. Followed by a small intake of breath. Edward's eyes even looked surprised.
"She's very important to you." Jake said to Carlisle. "What? Like a science experiment?" He bit, his mood suddenly changed.
"She's very important to all of us. Including you Jacob." Carlisle said back calmly. Jacob snorted in defeat. I watched…suddenly feeling horribly guilty about this whole thing, it would be my fault if their secret was blown. This isn't what I wanted. If it meant destroying everything they'd built up, and possibly taking them away from their home. I didn't want any of that. I wasn't going to do that to them.
"Alice…If you can hear me…I'm sorry…D-don't let Edward do anything, please…I don't want to take all that away from you guys. You've built so much up, don't waste it all on me… I'll watch…I'll listen, I'll still be here. Tell him I love him… Tell him I'm sorry…." I forced out. This was the hardest thing I've ever done. Edward looked at me palm, where my scar still traced, and then my throat. He let out a deep sigh and leaned over.
"NO!" I screamed. Alice couldn't hear me. I was going to blow it all for the Cullen's, the Blacks, their world. The Volturi would come for Charlie. I ran towards Edward, hoping he could at least feel my presence. I ran…but I didn't go anywhere. And then…
He bit me.