Once Upon a Pea
Narrator:
Once upon a time, there lived a queen who had a son, Prince Farris. There was also her jealous cousin, Marine, who wanted the throne all to herself. Now, you see, the prince was in need of a wife, a princess that is, but if he married, Marine would lose her chance of gaining power over the whole kingdom. So, in order to slow down time, she talked the queen into testing every princess who came to the castle and would always give them difficult questions. Sometime, the questions were impossible to answer or had no answer at all! Marine was determined to remove the queen and take the crown for her own, but soon one girl will come and answer all the questions correctly . . .
(In the middle of a mighty kingdom stand a giant castle and in the courtyards, Prince Farris was practicing his sword fighting skills with a dummy, pretending that it's actually real.)
Farris:
Ah-ha! Take that, you swine. Ha! Ha! You are no match for me! On Guard! (His sword gets stuck on the dummy's head, which is a bucket with a face drawn on it. He cant' get it out) Oh come on now. (Grunts) I pretty it will be more comfortable with my sword out.
(He pulls as hard as he could. Soon, the bucket flies off the sword.)
Farris:
Ah. Much better.
(Then, the Queen comings walking outside, looking for her son.)
Queen:
Farris! Farris, dear! (All of a sudden, the bucket come flying at her. Luckily, it misses her.) Oh!
(Farris turns out to the queen and runs to her.)
Farris:
Mother! I am terribly sorry. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to-
Queen:
Farris, Farris. It's fine. You're forgiven. But I thought you were out here to practice your fencing. Not beheading manikins. (Hands him the bucket)
(He gives her a grin and sets the bucket down.)
Farris:
Did you need something, Mother?
Queen:
You were late for our meeting this morning about our upcoming ball this week. (Farris shows a face which proves that he forgot their meeting.) Oh. I'm precious little boy is turning 21 and growing up so fast.
Farris:
Mother.
Queen:
I'm sorry, but that's why we mustn't waste any time when we have so many things to get done.
Farris:
Right.
(He turns away looking depressed. The Queen notices it.)
Queen:
Why, Farris. What's wrong?
Farris:
Nothing, it just . . . I'm turning 21 soon and . . . not married. I mean, how would I know what's important around or take charge of anything if I'm not even king yet?
Queen:
(Sighs) Farris, come walk with me. (They start to walk back inside.) My boy, as queen, I understand what you are going through. Even your father understood it as well. Since you are still a prince, you still have much to learn and there's always time to find a princess suitable for you.
Farris:
I miss him, dearly. I wish he was here now. Especially now, when I still don't have a bride.
Queen:
Oh, Farris. I miss him too, but always remember that he is with you and he is very proud of you. (Lifts up his head) And so am I.
(He lets out a smile as they hug.)
Farris:
Thank you, mother.
Queen:
Besides, we should let the bride searching to your dear aunt-
Maria:
Good Morning! Oh, dear cousin of mine!
Queen:
Good Morning, Marine. Beautiful day, isn't it.
Marine:
Oh, it's always beautiful when I'm around. (Laughs) Oh, I'm just teasing you.
Farris:
You seem to be happy, Auntie.
Marine:
Oh, I'm always happy whenever I see my (Baby talk and pinches his cheek) sweetest, most adorable nephew in the whole world!
Farris:
Auntie, I'm your only nephew.
Marine:
And let's keep it that, shall we? (Laughing) No offence, Libby. (Walks away.)
Queen:
Oh, by the way, how is the princess searching coming along?
(Marine stops in her tracks and thinks quickly. She turns with a frown.)
Marine:
Oh, I'm sorry, your highness, but (Sighs) I'm afraid I haven't received any requests for a bride.
Queen:
Oh. Well, keep up the search. I'm sure you'll come through.
Marine:
Of course. Have I ever let you down? (Smiles and walks away)
Farris:
I knew she was going to say that. I thought that last girl she found was a great choice.
Queen:
Well, unfortunately, Marine didn't approve her.
Farris:
Why must we always test each princess that comes to the castle?
Queen:
Your aunt thought it was a wise thing to do. We just want what is best for you. One day, I'll be gone and I just what to know that my son has someone who loves him and cares for him always. Who knows, maybe at the ball, a special girl may come on by. Only faith may say.
(He gave it a thought)
Farris:
You're right, Mother. I should rely on faith . . . Oh! And Aunt Marine too.
Queen:
(Chuckles) Of course. And don't forget, she cares about you very much.
(Meanwhile, in Marine's suite . . .)
Marine:
I honestly don't care for that boy what so ever. And I absolutely despise the queen. (Looks around) Jasper! Where's my tea?
(Suddenly, a ferret, Jasper, opens the door and pushes in a white cart. Because of his small size, he is having difficultly pushing it in. Oh, and he's Scottish too.)
Jasper:
(Scottish accent) Coming, miss. (Grunts)
(Finally, the cart gets to Marine. Jasper pours her a cup.)
Jasper:
Ay, they don't make carts as light as they use to be.
Marine:
I just can't believe that she ruling. (Scoffs) What a weak soul. She doesn't even know how to-
Jasper:
One cube or two?
Marine:
Two cubes will do- She doesn't even know how to rule properly! And once her son finds a princess, it'll be even harder to remove that-
Jasper:
Cream or no cream?
Marine:
Oh! Just give it to me! (Snatches the cup and takes a sip.) Oh, Jasper. If only your little head would understand what I deal with every day.
Jasper:
(To himself) Oh, trust me. I think I do.
Marine:
What was that, Jasper?
Jasper:
Nothing.
Marine:
I'm surprised how many princesses what to marry that boy. But I manage to drive them away by simple asking them silly questions. There was even a time I asked "What was the middle name of the daughter-in-law of the best friend of the blacksmith who forged the sword that killed the Beast?"
Jasper:
Uh . . . Iva?
Marine:
Oh, I don't know. I just made it up. (Laughs, Clears her throat) But I being serious here, Jasper. I mustn't let a single princess, not even a peasant girl, come close to the prince. If I do . . . Oh why am I so worried? That boy will never learn to love, there's not even one girl who hasn't or will get him . . . not before I do. (Laughs Wickedly)
Jasper:
(Laughs) Whoa. Ah! (Not watching his step, he falls off the cart) I'm okay.