Disclaimer : Certainly not mine. JKRowling's characters.

Silly Muggle Devices.

'I still don't see why we can't have Fairy Lights on this Christmas tree.'

'We are having fairy lights.'

'Lily, you know what I mean.'

'Harry would eat them. And I don't see what's wrong with Muggle lights.'

'Harry wouldn't eat them… Would he ?'

'Oh yes he would. He tried to eat the Garden Gnomes, remember ? And I found him with the cat's tail in his mouth.'

'Big deal. I chewed on the cat plenty when I was teething.'

'He was trying to bite it's tail off ! And the catfish in the pond last week !'

'Yes all right. Muggle lights then. Though I just can't understand why he's got to eat anything magic and moving.'

'That's the magic of being a parent, isn't it ?'

'What, not understanding your child !'

'Yes ! Now put the lights up. I'm going to feed said uncomprehensible child.'

'Yes Lily-flower … Now how do you … How do you get these things out of the box ? … Oh, good ! Here's the end… Now if I pull like this … No dammit that was a bad idea ! Okay, how 'bout like this … Ohoh I hope that isn't broken ! Okay, no it isn't… If I just screw this back on. There ! …'

About an hour later …

'Okay so this goes under here and then through that bit … Yay ! Got my other hand free ! Oh hello Lily. Hello Harry.'

'Jaaaames …'

'What ?'

'Don't what me ! How come the lights are on you and not the Christmas tree ? Gosh I never knew we had enough lights to strangle some one.'

'Well, see Lily-kins, I was trying to put the lights up, like you said, but I've never put lights up before. We always had fairy lights.'

'These are fairy lights.'

'LILY ! … Sorry. No ! Don't go !'

'Right. Harry stay there. Let go of the cat. HARRY ! That's it. Good boy. Now let's see … Hold this. Under, over … Through there … Tadam ! There you go.'

'Lily, how did you do that ? It's amazing !'

'Why thank you James. I think it's called woman pow- mmph' […

'Okay I'm going to give this blast-'

'Not in front of Harry !'

'-Christmas tree another shot. Where did the end go ? Accio Light End … Oomph ! Well I found it. And half a dozen other Light Ends.'

'James …'

'Shhh not now, I'm putting up Christmas lights … Plug this in … Take this bit around the tree ! Crap, that hurt you evil little Christmas tree ! Round here … Damn, it's caught. No ! No ! The tree's falling on me ! I got it ! Lily, Lily, take it and strangle it with this ! The fing murderer !'

'James ! Right. Let go of the tree now. Take Harry and stop teaching him bad words.'

'I never –'

'Don't deny it. I heard him muttering Snivellus under his breath. And worse.'

'Fine fine. But it's for his own good you know !'

'Take Harry outside and come back in an hour or two.'

'An hour or two ?'

'OUT ! … Peace at last. Right let's sort you out, poor Christmas tree. Okay lights… On you go. That's it… Up and tadaa ! Okay, tinsel come here you. Over the lights that's it… And another piece… Gold I think. … Okay well that was easy… Baubles next…'

An hour or two later …

'Lily ! Are you still alive ?'

'Yes Potter, I'm here. Twerp.'

'Look Harry ! There tinsel and lights and … and round reflecty shiny things on the Evil Christmas Tree. And look, there's even some presents under it ! And holly and fake snow. And look what's that up there… It's mistletoe. Well, excuse me sir, I have some buisness to do elsewhere.'

'James … MmMmMm …'

'Merry Christmas, Lily.'

XxXxXxX

Well, what'jda think ? I thought of it while skiing. It's a cross between The Woman's Touch (from Chickhen Run) and also the Christmas Swearing Traditions. I was going to do a propor story, but then I realised I was too lazy to do the descriptions and stuff, so I just did dialog. Besides, I like dialog. Please review if liked it, and review twice if you didn't !