Disclaimer: I do not own the brilliance that is Dragonball Z. So sad, I know.
Title: Speculum
Author: The Unconventional Lady
Summary: Son Gohan seemed happy. It appeared that in the two years since the Cell Games he had recovered. But, as his family and friends are about to find out…appearances can be deceiving.
Um…I guess you could call this my 'epic'. I am going to attempt a 'psychological thriller' here. Yeah, it'll probably fall flat…or turn into a horror story with no deeper meaning…but I'm honestly going to try here. I'm exploring Gohan with this. Yes, he is my favorite character. But, to me, it doesn't make sense that after the trauma of the Cell Games he'd just go on being a happy, normal, cheerful kid. I know, it's very bleak…but I just don't think it should have happened that way. So…I guess, in some ways this is another one of those Gohan torture fics. Sorry about that. Hopefully it puts a new spin on the idea.
Prologue
Self loathing is an ugly thing.
Self pity is even worse, but he had rid himself of that vile feeling months ago. Not that it helped any. The stomach twisting guilt was still there, slowly and painfully eating away at his insides. Every day another small part of who he was seemed to simply cease to exist, leaving his soul with nothing but big, gaping holes. Son Gohan in his entirety was fading. He was dying inside.
The worst parts came when it was visible to the others. Those brief slips in his composure that had shown his friends and family that he was in fact not happy. That he had tried, and failed miserably, to expel the events of that day from his memory. That his insides were being slowly corroded by the acidic presence of his endless guilt.
The first time had been with Piccolo. Not that it had surprised him that the Namek knew. The mental bond that had been forged between them had never been more potent than it had been that morning. He would never forget the severity of his teacher's expression…or the dangerous tone he adopted when he had asked…
"Are you hiding something from me, Gohan?"
It hadn't really been a question, though Piccolo had phrased it as one. It was more a statement of fact. His mentor knew…he could see…
"N-no."
And yet he still denied it. This was not something the Namek could help him with. It wasn't something that could be fixed, even by a best friend. He wasn't even sure that he wanted help, from anyone.
Because after all…what good would it do?
A/N: So, um, yeah. What do you think? Too heavy? Or too light, even? Does the writing absolutely suck (THAT wouldn't surprise me at all)? So…read and review? Keep in mind that that was the prologue. The other chapters will be much longer…maybe darker, but I'm not exactly sure about that yet. The real plot probably won't even become clear until chapter four or chapter five.