Disclaimer: Don't own it.
A/N: Never written iCarly before. Thought I'd give it a shot. Feedback is love! :DD
"I'm Carly!"
"And...I'm Sam, Sam, Sam!"
"And this is iCarly."
"The one show that...totally kicks ass."
Carly looked at Sam in disbelief. She can't curse on the show live! Little kids watch it! "Um, anyway, Freddie, show them the video of the guy breaking out of the handcuffs with a chicken bone."
"Chicken bone break out!" Freddie commented, putting down the camera and messing with the laptop. On the big screen a very intimidating man, with a chicken wing in his mouth.
"Sam, how could you say ass on the show?" Carly whispered angrily, turning to Sam and folding her arms. The blonde was almost in a trance, watching the television very intently. "Sam!"
"Oh, hey." Sam turned and looked at the brunette for the first time that night. The blonde had plowed in two minutes before the show started, eyes half opened, and got ready. "What's good, Carl-aaaaaaaayyyy?"
"What the heck is the matter with you?" Carly asked, grabbing the blonde by shoulders and examining her face. "You look like you've been through-" The camera snapped back to them, and the brunette immediately let go of Sam. "And that's how you get out of handcuffs! It looked like he really enjoyed eating the chicken off the bone first, didn't he, Sam?"
"Dude, chicken sounds awesome right now." Sam thought out loud, swaying a little.
"Okay, now we're gonna do a little bit called, 'The Man in the Convenience Store Who isn't Going to buy Anything!'" The brunette grabbed a mustache and threw her hair up, while Sam stood there staring at the floor. "Sam!"
The blonde tripped over her own feet and slammed into the ground. She started laughing hysterically, lifting herself up and putting on the shirt Carly had thrown at her. Putting it on with quite a struggle, Freddie rolled out the fake table.
"I'm an old man lookin' for something I'm not actually going to buy!" Carly said in a deep voice.
Sam looked at her blankly, blinking quite a few times. "Cool."
The brunette started to tense up. "Um, don't you have something to say about how I'm just touching everything and not actually buying anything?"
The blonde didn't respond. She just starting humming to herself, tapping her fingers on the table as if she was listening to a song trying to catch the beat.
Freddie looked at Carly, mouthing, 'What the hell is wrong with her?' Carly shrugged, struggling to improvise with the girl who clearly was not herself. "I have to go to the potty." Sam said, and stumbled out of the room, almost falling down the flight of stairs. Freddie turned the camera towards Carly, who stared awkwardly at the screen.
"Well, I guess you can't hold your pee sometimes!" She joked, ripping off the fake mustache and scanning the room. Freddie looked at her and turned the camera to himself.
"Well um. That's all we've got for tonight on iCarly! We apologize for the short show." Suddenly, Random Dancing came on, and the brunette took advantage of this. 'End it while I'm dancing!' She mouthed, staring at the camera with a smile as it turned off.
"We're clear." Freddie stated, putting down the camera. "Where the hell did Sam go?"
"I don't know," Carly admitted, taking off her costume, "but something is wrong with her. She's not herself at all."
The boy nodded. "She looks very...normal. Calm, to say the least."
Carly rolled her eyes at the term, 'normal'. Freddie would find some way to insult her no matter what if she wasn't around. "Well look, I guess I'm gonna find out what's wrong. Do you wanna stick around?"
Freddie shook his head. "I'm a little freaked out by how she was acting. She's so weird she might even be nice to me. And I just can't handle a nice Sam." And with that he walked right out the studio door. Carly exited as well, wondering around her apartment. Checking in every room, she found her on her bed, laying down, bobbing her head back and forth. "What the fuck, Sam?"
Sam sprang up, a huge smile on her face. "Language, Ms. Carly Shay!" She giggled ridiculously, sitting cross-legged very suddenly and still swaying. "I've never heard you say the F word before!"
Carly exhaled. Anger was building up inside of her. "Seriously, Sam, this isn't funny. Are you even aware of what happened during that recording? You just started blabbing on about have to piss, then left!"
The blonde's eyes grew wide as she was examining her own hands. "Carly, could you imagine a life without hands?" She flipped them over to look at the back, then made her hands into fists, then extended her fingers again. She kept doing this pattern. "Hands can just do so much for us. It's amazing."
The brunette had had enough. She walked over and stood Sam up, who started giggling again. Looking into the blue eyes deeply she noticed a faint tint of red. "Sam!" Carly started shaking. "Are you high?"
Sam smile turned into a frown. "No way! Carls! That's, like, stupid. And not right. At all. I'm not...high..." She trailed, mimicking Carly's position. She placed her hands on Carly's shoulders. "You've got pretty eyes."
The brunette turned a very light shade of pink for a moment, but then the anger came back. "You're high. You're high, and you tried to lie to me. I don't know which I'm more angry about!" She threw her hands off the blonde and turned away.
"Carly. Where'd you go?" Sam sounded like a lost puppy. As if she had been searching for hours she found her way back into Carly's arms, into a hug that wasn't exactly wanted at the moment.
"Get off, Sam."
"No, you're warm."
"Sam, get off."
"But I like you, Carly. I want to hug you real bad."
The brunette rolled her eyes. "Sam, you have no idea what's going on do you?"
The blonde smiled a really cheesy smile. "Of course I do. I'm huggin' you, 'cuz I like you!" As though something pushed her she started to collapse, and Carly caught her.
"Of course you like me, Sam, we're best friends." The brunette attempted to get the blonde off, but now her stance was stronger. Sam pulled away just enough to look at Carly.
"No, I like you, 'cuz you're smart, and funny, and cute, and have gorgeous eyes. That's why I like you."
Carly felt a static in her heart, as if it just did two back flips. "Come on, Sam. Stop all this. You have no idea what you're saying."
Sam leaned her forehead on the other girl's. "I may not have any idea what's going on," Sam agreed, "but I do know that I meant everything I said." She paused, as if trying to gather the words in her head together. "I like you like you. Like, how Freddie likes you like you. Like, a boy should like a girl. I like you like that, if I was a boy. But I'm a girl, so I guess I can't like you like that, but I do Carly. I like you like, a lot."
It took almost a minute for the brunette to comprehend the jumble of words that flowed out of Sam's mouth. "You like me?" Carly finally said, pulling away from the blonde's head.
Sam nodded. "Yup. I totally do. But I know that you like, don't roll that way. So it's totally cool. I just wanted to let ya know."
As wrong as it was, Carly wanted to take advantage of the situation. "So, I have a question."
The blonde looked at her, biting her lip as if her sober self was nervous, but eyes scanning the room like she'd never seen a place such as this. "Ask away!"
"If I liked you back, what would you do about it?"
Sam kissed her on the cheek. "I'd do that!" Carly's heart fluttered with excitement.
"That's all?"
The blonde started to push Carly onto the bed, but not as smooth as she had intended. Sam lost her balance, almost falling completely on Carly. Carly lay on the bed, feet dangling off for a moment. Sam moved herself so her legs were between Carly's. "I'd do this, too." The blonde planted a full blown kiss on the brunette, gently holding the back of Carly's head for support. The brunette melted on the spot, slowly sticking her tongue in her to make the kiss more passionate. After what only felt like a moment Sam pulled away.
"So, is this only 'cuz I'm high and you wanted to make out with someone?" The blonde asked suddenly, full seriousness in her tone. It was as if she sobered up just so she could ask the question.
"Nope. It's because I know you'd never do this if you were sober, and I like you, too."
Sam smiled widely, and for the first time all night Carly saw the blonde's eyes sparkle. "Sweet." Planting another kiss on the brunette, she rolled over next to her. "I like getting high if it means I can kiss you."
"You don't have to be high to kiss me, Sam." Carly countered, lacing their fingers together.
"Ya mean it?" Sam exclaimed, sounding like a five year old.
The brunette snorted. "You're so, so, dumb Sam. I hope you know that."
Sam rolled her head onto Carly's shoulder. "You still love me."
Carly kissed her gently on the cheek. "You know what, I completely do."
The two lay in each other's arms for a moment, the silence being soothing. Sam started rubbing Carly's hand gently with her thumb.
"You know what, Carly?"
"What?"
"Hands are so cool."