Maybe That'ssss Your Problem Too

by smiley1014

A parody I had to write for my English class. Based off of the Poem "The Mating Reflex" by Jim Hall. Just give it a shot.

AN- Okay, so I wrote this last year for my English class as an assignment and I figured why not do it on our dear Voldy? If it seems confusing try reading it out loud. Yeah…Remember this was written a year ago. If you want to see the official poem, refer to the offical poem was typed up by my real life friend Official Scroll Keeper her parody is really funny. Read it.

Disclaimer- I don't own Voldemort, but I do own this parody!

MAYBE THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM TOO

By Jim Hall

Parody by Smiley1014

All my problemssss

Who knowssss, Maybe everybody'ssss problemssss

Isss do to the fact, due to the awful truth

That I am Lord Voldemortttt.

I know, I know. All the dumb jokes:

Ssssnake faccce. Ha ha.

And thosssse on about whatttt I really do atttt all

Thosssse Deatttth Eater meetingssss. Well, that'ssss funny, yeah.

But you try being Voldemortttt

Ffffor a montttth or two. Go ahead.

You get thosssse bloody Malfoyssss kissssssssing

Up tttto you, trying tttto help you develop a plan tttto

Rid the world of Harry Potttttttter.

Now what do I care about the Malfoyssss?

But I pretend tttto lissssten and care about tttthe ssssneering foolssss,

And I put my nexxxxt plan to vanquissssh the boy who lived, into acccction.

Ttttill we getttt tttto the lasssst sssstand, we exxxxchange ssssome form of bantttter and

I am defeated time and time again.

You think when you are Voldemortttt

Ssssomething big issss going to happen to you.

Well, I'll tell you, itttt doessssn'tttt happen that way.

Nothing happenssss. Malfoyssss ssssuck up,

Make planssss to kill Harry Potttttttter, Fail, and sssstartttt all over again.

I think I'll try being ssssomething different. I think I'll try

Being a muggle Television newssss anchor. Yessss Broadcassssting

To thoussssandssss of people everyday…believing everything I ttttell them.

But then you jusssst can'tttt quit being ssssomeone like

Voldemortttt.

You are Voldemortttt for liffffe. Fffforever,

I can'tttt even find a lessss obvioussss placccce to mark my followerssss

Sssso maybe thatssss your problem too, who knowssss.

Matbe thatssss the whole problem witttth everytttthing.

Nobody can unnoticeably mark their followerssss. Who knowssss.