A New Year's Carol... sort of... with ninjas
I do not own Super Smash Bros Brawl, ninjas, any of the characters and the idea. The idea belongs to my beloved brother Pichn. Now that I've said the disclaimer, could you please untie me and remove the gun from my back. Thank you.
Let's go! Happy New Year!
New Year's Eve was coming and the Super Smash Brothers were excited about it. All of the Melee characters, assist trophies, and Brawlers were all pumped up and getting ready to party until they were either blue in the face or completely stoned.
At six o'clock on the 31st of December, everyone doing their share within the household; whether it was with buffet or with the music or with the extravagant fireworks, everyone was working really hard. In the living room, a certain Pokémon Trainer and his Pokémon were hanging up some more lights when he spotted the blonde bounty huntress sitting grumpily in the corner reading a very thick and probably boring book.
That bugged Red a lot, because in his mind, Samus was showing little interest in the Holiday. He believed that New Years Eve was a time of happiness, friendship and new beginnings and that she should get with the spirit. So the brown haired boy whispered something to Charizard and stepped down from the stepladder that raised him up and peered over Samus' shoulder.
"Hey Samus… do you want to talk?" asked the capped boy. The bounty huntress shrugged and placed her book into her lap with a vaguely and bored expression placed on her face. "You want to watch some New Year's TV specials?"
"No." came the blunt reply
"Would you like some left over Christmas food?" he asked, but again the Zero suit wearer shook her head and kept her frown.
"I'm not hungry," she replied.
"Why don't we decorate the Mansion?" he continued, trying to get something exciting going for her. Even Bowser and Ganondorf were participating in the New Year celebrations, so why couldn't she show some interest?
"It's all ready decorated," Samus explained as she picked up her book again. Red looked at Squirtle, who shrugged, before looking back at the reading Samus.
"Come on Samus," Red begged, "it's New Year's Eve."
"I know," Samus said, not looking up, "but we just celebrated Christmas last week. Why should we celebrate this holiday?"
"Don't you want to do something?" Red insisted, completely ignoring the bounty huntress. The woman shook her head and continued reading.
"I am."
Defeated, Red threw his arms up and stormed away back to his Pokémon. With a bit of concern for their trainer, the Pokémon picked up the trainer and took him to the nearby formal dining room. Once the Pokémon trainer was seated on a holly oak chair Ivysaur popped herself onto the table and looked on sympathetically. The young teen gave a small smile and began scratching the back of plant Pokémon's head.
"I can't believe it!" Red whispered to the grass type, "I'm trying to show her a New Year's celebration and all she wants to do is her creepy reading!"
"Ivy… Saur, Ivy Ivysaur."
"I am not overreacting!"
"Sauraaaaaa! Ivy, Ivysaur ivy Saur ivy!"
"I know that about her… but…"
"Saura! Ivvy Ivy! Ivysaur I Ivysaur Ivy!"
"Come on… I just want to get her in the holiday spirit thing. I'm…"
"Saur…"
"Yes ma'am… but…" Red started before he was interrupted by high pitched giggling. Looking at the door, Red saw the large wooden object creak open and heard the loud clinking of two sets of high heeled shoes on the thin carpet.
"So… like I loved that movie. It was so kawaii!" squealed Princess Peach as she and Princess Zelda strode through the dining room.
"Eh… the book is better but I must ask you Peach…"
"What is it Zellie?"
"How do you find a stingy old man visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve… cute?"
"It's just the whole idea of him changing his ways, becoming a more cheery person and spreading joy to the town. It just makes me feel so… joyous and happy," the blonde said. Red never got to hear Zelda make a smart remark as she and the other princess left the room. Red looked at his Pokémon and gave a plotting grin at them.
"Saurrrr… IVY!"
"Fine… but if we do and we change it…"
His previously silent Charizard then roared loudly in Red's ear and Squirtle water gunned his trainer in his face. As much as they loved and appreciated Red and what he did for them, what he was thinking of was too much to ask.
The Pokémon then slammed the button to their Pokéball and were returned in glow of red light.
"Damn… now who can fill in for me?"
She was utterly bored.
Samus yawned as she reached into the cafeteria fridge and pulled out a banana. It had been two hours since Red had bugged her and now she was utterly bored. The bounty huntress had no interest in joining the party or even getting some proper food from the main fridge but she did obviously want something to do while the others partied. She wasn't tired at all so, as of that moment, she was ready to do anything.
"Who is it?" Samus asked as she wiped her head around. She could hear something rumbling and it was coming from the… oven? Taking out her Plasma gun, the bounty huntress aimed the gun at the cooking machine and opened it.
"BOOOOOOOO!" screamed Roy as he suddenly jumped out of the oven covered in soot. Samus raised an eyebrow and Roy looked at himself. "Whoops… wrong costume." Quickly, the young Lord grabbed a match and set himself on fire.
"I am the FIRE LORD!" cackled Roy as he took out his flaming sword. Samus face faulted and began to walk away before she bumped straight into Red.
"Aren't you supposed to be in the garden partying like everyone else?" the bounty huntress yelled at Red. On the plus side, her boredom was gone… unfortunately now the blonde had a splitting headache from the short burst of insanity.
"I'm going back for the fireworks at midnight… and Roy… you're supposed to be the Ninja of New Year's Past!"
"Ninja?"
"Ninja of New Year's Past? NO! I WILL BE THE FIRE LORD!" screamed Roy as he ran out a conveniently placed window and into the conveniently placed pool.
"Right…"
"Well…" Red said as he looked around frantically. Seeing a black plastic bag, Red dashed to it and punctured holes for his eyes and mouth before putting it on his head. To Samus' amusement, he placed a greasy, cafeteria chip deep fryer across his chest and gave a ninja-like bow to the bounty huntress. "I am the Ninja of New Year's past and I have something important to show you."
"Very creative Red," Samus remarked sarcastically.
"I'm not this Red you just mentioned," Red said spookily, "I told you I am Ninja of New Year's Past. And you must come with me so I can show you your past."
"Fine," Samus said, "I have nothing better to do." She approached the bag headed kid and smirked. "And by the way… you look ridiculous."
"Hey, you try make a costume in one minute!" the adolescent boy yelled. Rolling her eyes, Samus allowed Red to lead her over to the games room where to an easel that had numerous pieces of paper on it. The first piece of paper had 'Samus' Past' written in big red letters on it and had numerous animal paw prints on it.
"I'm here to show you the way you celebrated New Years before meeting us," Red explained.
"Ok," Samus remarked.
Red turned the first paper over to reveal three badly-drawn characters, Two big and one small.
"Now this is you and your parents," Red said pointing at the picture. "And before you say anything, we had Pikachu do this."
"Ok,"
Red turned the page, which had Samus and her parents standing, watching some ketchup fireworks.
"And here's the three of you celebrating New Year's Eve together," He continued, "You used to love New Year's day. Until one day …"
Red turned the paper and on the new piece was a bad picture of a dragon destroying all New Year's day related things.
"Ridley attacked you and sent you to this planet. He hated this holiday and wanted to make sure you did too," Red explained.
Then he turned the picture to another pathetic drawing of Samus."
"And due to that and other tragic events in your life, you hated New Years. My time is up, I must warn you to change your ways," Red explained.
"You have no idea what you're talking about," Samus said, "You know that never happened and that made no sense."
"No," Red answered, "but you got to admit it's a good story."
Samus just walked off, quickly forgetting about Red's nonsense.
"Damnit..."
Walking back to the cafeteria kitchen, Samus opened the fridge once again and took out a glass of water when she suddenly heard a deafening clanking of pots and pans which was followed by a quiet "Bwawahwahwahwahwah." Curious and somewhat annoyed, the long haired woman peered to the large pantry door to hear the peculiar sounds again.
She walked over and threw open the doors to see a very… not so unusual sight. There sitting upon the pans was Yoshi upon a throne of pots and pans surrounded by a mountain of greasy, uncooked food which he gobbled ravenously. The only thing that did look odd was Pit's green wreath thing was upon Yoshi's head as he ate and the fact that Yoshi was wearing a cheap ninja's costume with a kitchen apron.
"What are you supposed to be?" Samus asked the dinosaur.
"I am the Ninja of New Year's Present," Yoshi said mysteriously, "and I have something important to show you."
"If it's more stupid artwork then I'm not interested," Samus said, turning away.
"No," Yoshi said, "I have come to show you New Years."
"I already know about New Years," she insisted as she headed towards the door. The green dinosaur struggled desperately but couldn't get out of the pan as his butt was stuck inside.
"Please come back to me, Samus," Yoshi begged, "I really need to show you this or Charizard will flambé me!"
"Fine," Samus said flatly as she turned back, "as long as it doesn't take too long."
Yoshi gave a ginormous grin and stuck his hand inside of the pots, pulling out fake brown fox ears and placing it on himself.
"Come on!" Yoshi said, doing his best Fox impersonation ."It's time for our Christmas party!
Samus looked at him in a confused manner, even though she didn't really care about what he was doing. Then Yoshi leaned over to a pot and took out a funny crown that looked like Link's green sock hat.
"How glorious," Yoshi giggled in a high and squeaky voice, "New Year's Day has come. Now we will give our halls a good decking and proceed with the partying," Samus held her breath to force herself not to burst out laughing at the very bad impersonation when he put on what looked like a pink hat.
"Poyo!" he said, "I've made my special buffet! Let's eat," sounding like Kirby almost made Samus lose it but quickly she returned to being calm.
Then Yoshi took off the hat and put on Red's trainer cap for the grand finale.
"All right," He said, "come join the party Samus! Charizard and Squirtle have pie!"
At that point, Yoshi put on a wig that resembled Samus' current ponytail hairstyle and flicked her hair grumpily.
"Bah humbug," he said, trying to sound like Samus.
Yoshi removed the wig and put Red's hat back on after that.
"Come on Samus," He acted in a whining voice, "it's New Years."
He put the wig back on.
"I hate this holiday," Yoshi griped as he frowned with his eyes, "now I'm going to my room to read depressing books all day."
Then the dinosaur took off all the props and stretched his arms out wide.
"Samus spent all day in her room and grew a thick mustache while her friends partied," he explained in a sad, sober voice, "which is the sad story of someone who hates New Years. The end." Then he showed a big goofy smile from in his ninja suit.
"You've been watching too much TV," Samus told him.
"But didn't you get the message?" Yoshi asked.
"All I saw is a child named Yoshi who had too much sugar," Samus said
"I am not Yoshi! I am the Ninja of New Years Present, but seriously! You have a black mustache!!! Look into my magic mirror of doom and see who you truly are!" he squawked as he took out a soft pink hand mirror. Samus looked into it to see a crude marker drawn mustache on the reflective surface.
"Yoshi… look in the mirror and tell me what you see."
"I see… I see…" started Yoshi before he widened his eyes "Hey! I look good in a black mustache. Hoho! Hoho!" he said as he modeled his green face in the graphitized mirror; which made Samus face fault.
"Right Yoshi… and by the way, don't you…"
"For the last time… I am not Yoshi. I am the stuck Ninja of New year's Present! However I tell you, that Yoshi has moved far away and can't pay the three dollars he owes you," the dinosaur said as he fidgeted with his mask.
"Where did he move to?" Samus asked, not believing him for a single second.
"Down the street"
"I'll go see him. I need the money…"
"He's dead. Yoshi is dead!" Yelled the dinosaur as he jumped out of the pan suddenly and ran as far away as possible. "Free! I have the money!!!"
"Right…" said Samus as she walked off.
"Well, there's one part of my plan left," Red said to a hidden figure within the shadows, "and if this doesn't convince her, nothing will. So go get her…" the figure nodded and ran off to where Samus' room was on the second floor.
Hearing a knock on her door, the fighter opened her door to see a menacing ninja standing there with Ike's sword by the ninja's side.
"Let me guess," She said, "you're the Ninja of New Year's Future and you want to show me something. Did they pay you much Sheik?"
Sheik nodded and tugged Samus' arm. Feeling bored enough, Samus allowed Sheik to take her over to the living room. There was a small block set up in the middle of it and the convincing ninja smasher pointed her bandaged fingers at it and coughed twice. As if on cue, a red capped sock puppet popped up with… a mustache.
"I can't-a believe she left the smashers-a," it said in a very hokey Italian accent. Then a blue spiny sock puppet appeared from behind the block with little spikes on it. Samus raised an eyebrow at the real ninja but the sheikah pointed back at the block.
"Well that's what happens when you have problems with your friends," the blue Sonic puppet said as the person behind the block made it shake his head.
"I still-a can't believe-a she left because she didn't want-a to celebrate-a New Year's Day… why in-a Brooklyn…" The red one started before the blue sock puppet whacked the Italian puppet ** the fake head.
"Yeah… I know what happened in your boring old Brooklyn. But the story is sad… it caused her to leave the team because she had tired of seeing all of us celebrate New Year's," the blue one snapped. "Now get me a chilli dog." Samus forced a laugh back. Whoever was behind the block was certainly doing an impressive job.
"I wonder what she's doing now," the Mario puppet wondered.
Then the two sock puppets went back behind the block. After that, a softer blue sock with the words Samus on it came out from behind the block.
"I am all alone," The sock puppet said in a painfully squeaky voice that forced both Ninja and bounty hunter to cringe, "why couldn't I have kept New Year's Day in my heart like the other Smashers? If only I could speak to myself years ago; I would tell her not to leave the mansion because I don't like New Years."
Then the person behind the block put the puppets away and came out from behind the block, it was Red.
"Did you get the message?" He asked. Samus slapped him in the face and walked off towards the television while Sheik faced palmed and put up a sign and showed it to him. 'I'm not paid enough for this.'
"You know that you can talk since the whole Ninja of New Year's thing is over." The capped boy sighed as he sat down on a couch.
Sheik took another sign out and gave a grin from under her cowl. 'Are you kidding? Having all these cheap W.E. Coyote copyright signs is really epic. Check this one out.'
Sheik never got the chance to show him as Samus picked up the television, which she blamed for this whole dilemma, and was contemplating to throw it at either Sheik or inside a closet. The ninja screeched and threw down a smoke bomb onto the ground but nothing happened. Red and Samus stared at the sheikah while she looked away, embarrassed.
She held up one last sign that mysteriously had some words that she wanted to currently say. "Uhhh… that smoke bombs were supposed to… like a… never mind." Then she disappeared with her Vanish technique much to the confusion of the two.
"Right… well… Happy New Year's Eve Samus! I'm sorry but all I wanted was for you to get into the New Year's Spirit like me and the rest of us." Then the Pokémon Trainer dashed off as fast as his legs could.
"Are you having fun tonight people?" called out Master Hand. No one responded besides a lonely cricket, which Meta Knight squashed as soon as he saw it. "I said are you having fun?" the right gloved yelled again. Then, suddenly, Crazy Hand charged and smashed into her brother and snatched up the microphone.
"ArE U HAVN Fun 2NItE?" yelled the fun left hand glove. Instantly, everyone began cheering loudly with catcalls and wolf whistles, the only person who did it a little more half heartedly was Red, Yoshi and Sheik who had failed their mission.
"GoOD! NoW HELPiN Meeeee witH tGoOD! NoW HELPiN Meeeee witH tE CoUNTDonZ iS Miiiiiiii good FWenD… ZE FiER LoRS!" the Crazy hand yelled as it revealed a flaming Roy strapped to a countdown timer.
"One minute left!" yelled Roy from the timer that hung from the tree. "One minute to the next decade!" Smashers cheered and laughed at Roy's current predicament as he swung violently from the tree branch, that held the countdown timer, which threatened to break.
Red sighed before he felt tapping on his shoulder by a slim yet strong hand.
"What did I miss?" asked a voice. Yoshi and Red turned around and widened their eyes because there, standing there with her arms crossed, was Samus Aran with a half smile on her face. Yoshi tackled her and began licking her face while Red just stood there.
"But… you… New Year's…" Red stuttered. After Samus had managed to push Yoshi off and sent him running with three less dollars, the zero suit clad woman faced Red and shrugged.
"10… 9… 8… 7…" everyone started shouting
"I'm just here for the fireworks…" the bounty hunter said above the rabble before coming closer to Red and gazing into his brown eyes. Red nervously glanced at her own light blue ones before she leaned in. The young Pokémon Trainer copied her actions before he closed his own eyes tightly and then…
"6…5…4… 3… 2… 1…"
The fireworks exploded in a brilliant array of colors. It was the perfect romantic scene and everyone was utterly happy except…
BLAM!
Red was sent flying to the grass before Samus stared at him.
"Next year… Don't you dare try pulling the same stunt on me," she threatened.
And they all lived happily ever after and the end! Yeah right...
HAPPY NEW YEAR AND LETS ALL CELEBRATE THE NEW YEAR BY REVIEWING!