The Sun, The Rain
Finding light is like a tear
That couldn't sort its way out of eyes
So devoid of feeling
That it might as well be stuck there,
Like the fly in the amber.
Those wings, hidden behind a fake dress,
Cannot even be like the fly,
Common and comforting,
For they are blue with emptiness,
Like me.
I could see you behind the tinted glass,
And even though you think you know
How hard it was to break through,
You don't.
You could never know.
To see a shining like my happy days,
To see the sun as something more
Than just that red fireball;
Yearning for the burning of the restraints
Around my feet,
Around my heart.
I want you to know…
Not the pain, but the frustration.
I could never let you feel that suffering,
And while I know you have given
All of your breath to be here,
How can I explain?
They stand there, your guardians,
With the look of worry, permanently
In their eyes.
But I still don't have mine.
Maybe you. Maybe you are
The one I am searching for.
My lips could only barely form
Your name – that name I called out
So many times out of instinct.
If I cry when you hold me in your arms,
Would that be okay?
Would you let me drench you in all of my years,
Or would I drown you?
No…I do not think I would,
Because that sun no longer red,
But a ruby that warms me.
That is the ruby of your eyes.