Philosopher's Stone: Snape's Secret Diary

by Still-Fantasy

A insight into the Snape behind the grease, diary form as you could probably tell from the title. Don't be turned off by the number of chapters. Each chapter is about half to three quarters of a page. Humour. Don't forget to laugh.

1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi everyone! I see you've decided to read my fanfic. Unlike most Harry Potter though, this was solely created to entertain and humour you. If you're looking for heartbreaking romances, you either didn't pay attention to my summary (shame on you), you are hopelessly optimistic and think I'll change my mind halfway through or you think that I'm a liar. If you weren't looking for romance, you may read on.

---------------

Entry One

---------------

School at Hogwarts starts again today, and that means teaching. Hate teaching, especially the first-years. They're all witless toads. Might have felt better if I got the Defence Against the Dark Arts job. But Dumbledore refused. Again. He can be so stubborn sometimes! Had to sit through his usual start-of-year speech (secretly thought he was off his rocker) and the Sorting Hat's song (if the hat had a rocker, he'd be off it too). Then the sorting began. Boring as usual though I did find pleasure in discovering Lucius Malfoy's son Draco was attending this year. Finally! A new favourite! Zabini Blaise was getting tiresome. Got a bit of a shock when I heard that Harry Potter was attending too. Loathed him instantly. He looked just like his filthy father; same ugly face, same arrogant posture, same….beautiful windswept jet black hair. Can't get over the hair. James never told me the secret to his hair, even when I threatened to shove his wand up his nose in our first year. I even tried the scourgify spell in my second year. I aimed too high and it ended up hitting the caretaker. Given up ever since.

Also noticed that Minerva Mc Gonagall was looking as pretty as ever (I wonder what brand of cream she uses?). Said hello to her this morning. She didn't reply. In fact, it looked like she wanted to hex me. Obviously she still hadn't forgiven that little incident last Christmas when I accidentally sent her a jar of angry wasps. Wouldn't come out of the hospital wing for weeks. Of course, it was totally unintentional. I meant to send it to Filius Flitwick. He ended up getting the bunch of roses. Slightly awkward situation. Told him that some student must have played a prank. Reckon I got off lightly. Oh! It's almost 11! Must get some beauty sleep!

A/N: Well, how did I do? Please post reviews. I like reviews!!!