Title: The Good Word
Rating: PG
Pairings: None
Type: Gen, humor
Warnings: Mention of religion
Word Count: 498
Summary: Roy gets an unexpected visitor one Sunday.
Note: This is in no way trying to poke fun at any specific religion.
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The Good Word
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When a knock sounded on the door, Roy looked up from the letter he was writing in surprise. He rarely got visitors on Sundays. Putting the pen down, he made his way to the front door. When he opened it, a friendly-looking, old woman was standing there with a bag full of pamphlets and books hanging from her shoulder.
"Yes?" he asked politely, unsure what to make of his unexpected visitor.
"Good afternoon!" she replied exuberantly. "I'm here with the Good Word! What I have to say today could save your soul!"
Roy sighed and put up a hand. "I'm really not interested…"
"I think you are, but you just don't know it yet. Why don't you let me in and let me share this wonderful news with you!" she exclaimed more cheerfully than anyone had a right to be.
Not a chance in hell... he thought wryly.
"Actually, I'm busy right now…" he said and started to shut the door, but the woman put her foot in the way and pressed on the door with her hand.
"This is the most important message you could ever receive! Trust me you don't want to just pass up this fantastic opportunity!"
Wanna bet? Roy thought, then said, "Ma'am..." He didn't want to be rude, but he was beginning to feel frustrated with the old woman's unwillingness to leave him alone. "I would appreciate it if you moved your hand and foot. I'm not—"
"And I would appreciate it if you let me in so that I could teach you what you need to be saved!"
"Lady, I'd be more interested if you were selling bullet proof vests or fire retardant clothing," he retorted. "I'm sure either of those would have a better chance of saving me than whatever you have to say." Again he tried to shut the door, but the woman was unrelenting. Growling in irritation and frustration, Roy finally said, his voice firm, "Look, I am not interested! Now move your body so I can shut the door."
When the old lady gave him a look of stubborn determination, he got an idea and said more mildly, "Like I said, I'm not interested, but I do know someone who might be. Do you have a pen and paper?" A delighted look crossed her face and she dug out the aforementioned items. After giving her the address and directions, she scampered off with the air of a predator zooming in on its prey.
Roy watched her go, his relief mixing with the after effects of his frustration. Maturity and proper decorum had prevented him from throttling the old woman the way he really wanted to…
But Fullmetal would feel no such hesitation.
Hope this gave you a chuckle. I definitely enjoyed writing it.
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Comments are always welcome. :)