Title: Descent into Darkness
Author: annonymouse
Summary: A one shot on how Cho Gonou got his limiters. A bit angsty but not really… Just a teensy bit!
Disclaimer: I disclaim!
Author's Notes: Dedicated to meethzoonk and Quince who got me into this in the first place and labrynth, real-circus, black luna, MidnightLoner, yumeneko, who?, Tsumi, olivia-yuymaxwell and Miyahara Yuuki who reviewed my first story "Step by Step"… If you haven't read it… Please read! ^_^

*

A lonely figure stumbled out of the blood drenched castle. Rain poured heavily all around him, pounding his tired body. He'd gone without sleep for the few days he went hunting for his love. His deceased love.

Dry sobs shook his whole body. He collapsed on the ground and screamed, all his anguish released. It still wasn't enough. He still wanted them to pay, he wanted to feel more warm blood cover his hands. He wanted to see their haunted eyes before collapsing at his feet. He wanted to hear the screams of hundreds as he mindlessly slaughtered them. He wanted them to pay. Pay for his loss, his one love taking her own life. He wanted…

He wanted yesterday.

Darkness had planted it's seed inside of him and the blood of the youkais he killed had only worsened the desire. It had helped that little seed grow. It grew so much that there was a constant ache in his chest to see more people dead.

He had given in. He had given in to the darkness. What scared him most was that he gladly accepted it. Even enjoying it at his worst moments.

Cho Gonou held his stomach tightly. More blood than he knew he had kept pouring, mingling with the rain around him. He withdrew one hand and looked at it with curiosity, the rain had made the velvety red colour fade, a dusky hue still stained his hands. Was it his blood? Or was it theirs? He couldn't tell.

Emptiness seemed to swallow him. Endless dark, a void he cannot escape.

He felt warmth mingle with the freezing cold on his face. Tears? He was crying?

He fell unconscious, his mind shutting down to block the pain.

*

Anguish. Pure and undiluted anguish. The kind that tore you up and scatter the pieces was gnawing his heart. His soul. Whatever it was that kept him sane.

Kanan…

Whispered his mind, desperate to hear her soft laughter, to see her ever smiling face. He searched his memory but he only saw red. Red, the red of his anger. The red of those who fell before him. And black. Darker than the night sky. The void inside of him.

Come back…

Fear wrapped itself around his unconscious self. Fear of life without her. Fear of what he had become.

Please…

A desperate plea. If there was any all powerful beings, he begged to them. With everything he has left, he begs them to let him at least recall her.

What is there to give?

A voice that was not his seemed to ask. What did he have left? He desperately searched his mind for something. He grasped at what he was before events changed him. A teacher. He was a teacher. He valued knowledge. He would gladly give all that he knew for a glimpse.

I have knowledge. I can gain knowledge.

He went on his search once more. He remembered what he had become. A youkai whose strength was something humans were envious of. He'd surrender his strength.

I have strength. I can train for strength.

Anger coursed through him once more. He had nothing left. His home gone, his lover dead, a changed form. He was a criminal. Nothing more than a cold blooded killer. All he had left was his life, and even that was slowly fading out of existence.

I accept your life.

Images flooded him. Warmth pored inside his tired shell. He saw her once more, he could feel her arms around him, hear her voice.

As your life is mine, I refuse to let you die. I order you to live Cho Gonou.

Confusion clouded him. Live? Wasn't he alive now? Was he not lying in a green field? With the sun shinning bright, laughing at the shapes the clouds looked like with Kanan, his love? Was he not alive?

Feel the cold around you Cho Gonou. There's a town not far from here. Go there now and live your life repenting from your sin.

The cold? He was confused, but obediently he shut his eyes to block the sunlight and o feel the cold.

But instead he found that he had opened his eyes. The rain had not stopped, and he was soaked to the bone. Shivering, he somehow managed to stand, holding his arms around his bleeding stomach. He walked with unsteady baby steps. Thinking about what he had become.

He didn't want the strength. He didn't want the power that reminded him of his crimes. He didn't want to surrender to darkness anymore.

He absently scratched his ear with three blood stained fingers.

Forcing himself to walk was something of a burden, but he had promised to live. Yes, he promised. But who did he promise to? He remembered waking up in the same spot he had fallen. Who had come to him?

The itch in his ears grew and scratched at it more.

He stumbled an fell to the ground. With sheer determination he managed to once more stand up. He was still thinking of his mysterious saviour when he saw faint lights up ahead. He gave a startled cry and fell down once more.

I'm sorry. I'm going to have to break my promise.

He thought to the entity that had saved him. Maybe, somehow, somewhere his rescuer would hear.

It's okay…

It whispered to him. He struggled to stand but failed. He began to fall once more into unconsciousness.

Wait… Who are you?

He asked, willing himself to stay alive, awake for a few seconds more.

Why, haven't you figured it out yet?

He shook his head.

I'm you conscience.

He nodded, finally understanding before finally fainting

*

Warmth, he was wrapped in warmth. Where was he? Was he dead already? No, that man had saved him. What was his name again? It was similar to his own name… Go… Go… Gojyo. Yes that's it. Sha Gojyo.

He had gone out to get more food he said. At least that's what Gonou had thought he heard before he fell asleep again. He ran a hand through his hair. It was messy from the days that he had neglected it.

Kanan would have fussed over him, he thought absently. He ignored the sharp tug his heart gave. Idly he smoothed down his hair with his fingers. He felt his fingers brush against something cool.

Startled he felt his ears, three pieces of metallic… things were clipped around his ears. He sat up quickly and winced. He was not fully recovered yet. Looking around the room he found what he was looking for.

Gingerly he stood and walked to the mirror with slow and unsteady steps.

He looked at his reflection, more specifically at his ears and puzzled over what he saw. He recognised what they were now. Limiters. He knew that some youkais had them. He had limiters? Where the hell from?

His mind then flashed him a memory, of an itchy ear, scratched by three blood stained fingers.

His limiters had come from inside of him. From his guilty feeling. From regret. From the blood of those he killed.

He smiled wryly at the mirror and went to lie down again.

End

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