Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Author's Note: I'm having another bad day. Anyway, depressing monologue from Heero's POV. Enjoy and review if you want.
Born From Hate
By Shi no Tenshi
Pain. The word that has become my middle name. Both for the pain I feel in my heart and the pain I have inflicted on others. Do I have a heart? Yes, but only a heart of cold stone. A fossil. When cracked open, you will find an imprint of the person I used to be. The heart of a child. The one that died when I began training. But no one will ever see that. No one will be able to open this heart of granite. My past is sealed shut with a slab of stone.
Hate. My best friend. The fire that burns within me; the thing that keeps me wanting to live. I hate those who hurt my family. The ones who made me who I am now. The ones who removed happiness from my vocabulary. I hate them. I hate this war. This war, which has molded me into the ruthless soldier that I am. For me, life is war. I seek revenge. I seek revenge on the ones I hate, and war. But once my vengeance is complete, hate will leave me, leave me to another. Death.
Death. A concept I have yet to understand. I am eager to understand it. Since my life is nothing, worth nothing, there is no point in living. I am nothing to the world except another being to worry about. Fine. You don't have to worry about me. The angel of death shall come to me, to save me from an eternity of this life. Duo considers himself to be the Shinigami, the God of Death. Right. What does he know about death? He, the happy-go-lucky pilot to whom life is a party. Of course. His losses. Does he think that he is the only one who experiences these losses? He has a past to remember. I don't. I do not envy him.
Love. Ha. No love has ever been felt by this stone heart. No emotion. All emotion besides hate makes you weak. I am not a weakling. Love is a drug that makes you oblivious to the world. The world of cruelty you live in. The world of pain. Love does not make the world go round. Love makes mankind grow soft. So soft someone can break them. Break them like the cowards they are, seeking love for comfort. One day, mankind will regret feeling love. Because love will destroy them.
I have nothing. I have no one. Life is cruel. Pain is a necessity. Hate is good. Love is evil. Death will come. Someday soon. I am waiting.