Caboose was making his way back from red base, humming rather quietly to himself when he tripped. "Oof- owowowow.." he slowly opened his eyes to see a flier of a new movie that came out.

"Sarge 2: Sarge Harder

The Movie

In theaters now"

He scrambled to his feet whilst grabbing the paper.

"Oh my gosh, a-a movie, we should go see a movie!" he held the paper above his head excitedly and made his way toward Church and Tucker who were standing outside the base.

—

"Oh dude! did you see that Caboose just tripped over a rock" Tucker stifled a laugh and nudged Church to get his attention.

"Huh? what?" Church looked up at him.

"Dude Caboose just fell" Tucker exclaimed with another light laugh.

"Oh well that's great, but now he's coming our way" Church sighed.

Church hated Caboose as much as he hated everyone else, but he had to admit he kinda grew on you after a while.

"Look Church, it's Sarge and-and.. Tucker," his brow furrowed as he paused. "it's Tucker." He said with distaste evident in his voice.

"Oh my god would you shut the hell up Caboose!"

Church was fuming.

"Yeah Caboose shut up, I can't stand it when Church yells cause he's more of a dick than usual"

"Oh don't you start too Tucker"

—

"What in tarnation! Who in Sam Hill would pose as us? In a movie." Sarge said exasperated

"You guys we gotta check this out I wanna see if they captured my badassness." Grif said

"Yayyy. Movie trip!" Caboose pulled the trigger of his gun, causing confetti to pop out. "We are going to have so much fun!"

—

After arriving, they waited about 10 minutes for anyone else to arrive,

They all payed for their tickets, snacks and made sure Caboose used the bathroom, the whole shabam, then they all entered the movie theater.

Stationing themselves a little higher than the middle, the entirety of the group only took up one row. Church made Caboose sit on the end just Incase he had to use the bathroom. Much to Church's delight Andersmith or "Smith" as he preferred to be called volunteered to watch Caboose and settled down next to him. Jensen and Grey took the seats next to him, followed by Church and Tex then York, Carolina and Kimball who made sure to have Wash and Tucker sit one seat away, no one wanted to sit next to those two in fear of witnessing something they didn't want to.

So it doesn't surprise Wash when Sarge doesn't take the seat next to him but, the one after, with Donut and Doc sitting down along with Lopez. Grif and Simmons being the last ones to sit down.

Everyone settled down as the lights dimmed and not long passed before the last trailer started to roll.

"Double O Donut, coming to theaters near you on April 20th" the narrator said.

"Wah- uh- Oh my gosh that's my birthday!" Caboose exclaimed way louder than he should've

"Caboose... for the last time.. shut up!" Church said loudly, clearly having had enough of Caboose for one day. His volume earned him a few aggravated shushes from others in the theater.

"yeah Caboose, and thats not even your birthday." Tucker said, confused.

"ah- actually i dont know my birthday so any day, could be my birthday!" Caboose said throwing his arms up.

"CABOOSE-" Church began,

"shh!" Donut shushed, a little aggravated.

"ughh, shut up!" Church whispered.

"..shutting up.." He said in a hushed voice.

"Church would you shut it already." Tex said in annoyance.

"I am you bitch." He shot back.

"What did you just-" Tex was cut off by Carolina before they could argue any further.

"Would you two stop acting like children!" She exclaimed with as much authority as she could without being too loud.

Church and Tex muttered grumpily to themselves but they more or less stopped much to York's surprise.

"Wow can't believe she was able to shut them up" he thought.

"I thought they'd never shut up." Carolina quietly said, settling back down in her seat.

Tex's eyebrow twitched up at the comment, "oh you shut up Carolina" she said with a hint of venom in her voice.

"You shut up before I-" Tucker cut her off,

"I can think of a few ways to shut you both up, bowchikabowwow" Tucker said whilst raising his eyebrows.

"Tucker shut up!" Tex and Carolina said in unison.

York was seated in the middle of the two.

"Can we just calm down and watch the movie." He said, shifting uncomfortably between the two.

Tucker mentally sighed as he thought to himself "I can't believe I came here with these idiots when I could be doing other things.."

Tucker rested his hand on Wash's leg and started to rub small circles on his inner thigh. Wash shifted a uncomfortably but not enough for Tucker to notice. "This is.. a rather inappropriate scenario." he thought to himself, trying to focus on the screen. It was hard to focus though with the others bickering and Tucker.. being Tucker. Wash leg out a sigh, "it's gonna be a long two hours."

—

"Of course Grif is sleeping, he's so fucking lazy.." Simmons grimaced.

—

In two hours and ten minutes the final credits rolled and the theater was once again engulfed in light.

"Dude." Tucker started "That was fucking bullshit." Church finished.

"They made me seem like such a bitch-" Church cut him off,

"You? At least you didn't die, I was in there for like ten minutes."

"Actually it was more like 20." Simmons piped in.

"Private Simmons now is not the time to argue with the blues. What matters is that I never used a shotgun in this darned movie." Sarge grunted.

Grif yawned and stretched his arms. "Yeah, Church is like a glorified calculator Simmons how could he be wrong?" Simmons was about to retort but was interrupted by Caboose's outburst. "I was so awesome in there, almost as awesome as I am in real life. I do not remember doing the movie but that's okay!"

"Caboose you idiot that was obviously someone else." Church said.

The group continued to bite back at each other for another ten minutes.

Wash can be seen in the background, pinching the bridge of his nose. Carolina, York and Kimball already left, with Grey, and Jensen soon following behind. Jensen pulling Smith along with her. Tex was the last of the ones listening to the usher to go. "What a bunch of idiots.." she sighed. Wash was left to take care of the rest.w The usher could hardly be heard with all the commotion, "um.. you guys the movie ended 15 minutes ago I have to clean up but I can't until you're all gone.." Her pleas went unheard.

Soon things took a turn for better or worse as the usher thought it was a good idea to turn off all the lights.

"Hey what the hell!" Tucker shouted

"Oh no I'm blind! Can you guys see me because I can not see you" Caboose frowned and started to feel around, accidentally grazing Sarge.

"Oh you dirty rotten blues this was just an elaborate plan to ambush us. Here I thought we were friends, slash enemies, slash companions." He said as Donut grabbed his why I oughtta-" Sarge mistook Donut for a Blue and punched him square in the face knocking him back into Doc, who fell into Lopez.

"He-guh-hur-gerk" Lopez shook his head a bit, "Arruinaste mi culo de visión nocturna!"

"Ouch.. done already? I didn't even get to use my safe word." Donut said disappointedly whilst rubbing the left side of his face.

"Wha- what the? Donut? Was that you I just hit? Grrrr.." Sarge grunted in annoyance. "Drat, if I was going to hit someone on my team why couldn't it have been Grif." He huffed.

"Hey!" Grif shouted.

"Oh can it" Sarge countered.

"It feels weird not being in my armor York." Carolina said, a grimace crossing her features.

"Yeah I feel ya on that." York nodded, " but we can't help that there's no guns or armor allowed at the mall." He finished.

"Stupid rules.." Tex added, tucking a strand of her blonde locks behind her ear.

"Oh dear, what is taking them all so long?" Grey said impatiently.

"Don't worry about it I'm schure they'll be out schoone." Jensen said while rubbing her girlfriend's shoulder.

"Captain Caboose will surely bring them out soon." Smith claimed with confidence.

"And why would they call themselves the Blue's and Red's it's Red's and Blue's!" Sarge said with a huff.

"Sir I think that was just to avoid copyright infringement, you know? like what the directors did for that Avatar movie." Simmons's said, rather matter of factly.

"If they wanted to avoid copyright then why didn't they just hire the real deal?" Grif chimed in.

"What? I thought that was us?" Caboose said, scratching his head.

...

...

..

.

"Caboose we already went over this." Wash said, breaking the silence.

Translations:

- Arruinaste mi culo de visión nocturna! – You messed up my night vision asshole!

-Los dios míos – My god

- Dios míos – OMG

- si tu la salida no fue bloqueada por tus idiotas, me habría ido hacía milenios – if the exit wasn't blocked by you idiots I would have left millennia ago,