A/N: i copy and paste the following author's note to all chapters of all of my stories, for complete transparency. most of my writing is done on my phone and while i try to be sure my grammar, punctuation and the like are on point, the majority of my writing is in entirely lowercase letters! because i'm putting this disclaimer here, any and all comments about this aspect of my writing will be ignored. if it bothers you, please just don't read my work. thank you!
sometimes you just feel like writing hurt/comfort about your favorite headcanon. this fic is based entirely around my headcanon that louise is a transgender girl! it takes place 6 years in the future (louise's sophomore year), and in this fic louise and jessica are dating. i will disclose right now as a trigger warning that this fic does include transgender slurs! in no way do i condone or support the actions, nor do i mean any harm. i myself fall into the category, in fact.
it was a quiet wednesday in november, and the morning brought soft wind that cuddled against you as it blew past. leaves scattered over the sidewalks painted beautiful pictures of warm colors.
who knew such a seemingly peaceful day could bring such turmoil?
louise and jessica walked to school together, fingers softly entwined to keep the other warm, much like they did every morning. the two spoke quietly about what they could do after school, or if the other knew what was for lunch. it took jessica a couple of blocks to realize gene wasn't trailing them like usual.
"he went to school early today to finish some stuff," louise answered. "his group usually hangs out in the library before class anyway." rather than reply, jessica nodded in understanding.
the two knew the routine by heart. and all the while they talked; about anything, everything, nothing. the first stop was jessica's locker; to the right when you walked through the front doors. as she let her backpack fall from her shoulders, louise leaned her back against the adjacent lockers. jessica clicked all her supplies for the first half of her day into her binder, and louise laughed as jessica attempted to stuff her backpack all the way into her tiny locker. next was louise's locker - down the hall, maybe 30 feet.
louise opened her locker and slung her denim bag off of her shoulder, snickering at something jessica had said. on her left, a figure approached her. as she turned, she recognized the figure as charles dunlap. she knew him - or knew of him, rather. they'd never spoken. he was a sophomore, but should have been a junior; he had been held back a year in elementary school.
"hey, louise," he muttered. as she turned to look at him, she noticed the stupid smirk across his face. she met his eyes with unamusement.
"what do you want, charles?"
he disregarded the question. "or would it be more appropriate that i call you louis?"
louise sighed. "why would you do that?"
"cut the crap, belcher. i know all about your little secret," he chuckled.
"i'd love to know what you're talking about," louise replied. she was clearly uninterested in whatever he was trying to pull. jessica still stood silently behind her.
charles shook off the sarcasm, still speaking in a teasing, matter-of-fact tone. "i know that underneath your girly appearance, you're packing wood, tranny."
louise's eyes widened in horror, mortification. "...excuse me?"
"you heard me," charles snapped, "tranny."
his words punched her straight in the gut. she could feel her chest tighten as it burned like a wildfire. behind her, an anger bubbled up inside jessica as well, but rather than act on it she simply reached for louise's hand. louise linked her fingers with jessica's, and with her other hand, she grabbed the collar of charles' shirt and pulled him in. "where the hell did you hear that?"
charles yanked himself away from louise. "from your little drag-hag of a 'brother'," he mocked, fingerquoting. "overheard him in the library earlier and started chatting with him. learned some pretty interesting things." the smirk wouldn't leave his stupid lips.
louise squeezed jessica's hand a little tighter and slammed her locker door shut. before she could say anything more, charles glanced towards jessica, and his smirk curled ever so slightly.
"what about your girlfriend, here?" he started. jessica's look of concern grew more intense, and she shuffled closer to louise as the boy stepped towards her. "does she know that her so-called 'girlfriend' is more of a boyfriend than anything?"
"you shut your mouth," louise snapped, through gritted teeth. jessica clenched her free fist.
"i just figured she had the right to know," he said, a sudden innocence masking his tone. a few surrounding kids had noticed the conflict and were starting to form a small crowd. louise whipped her head around, and suddenly felt claustrophobic. tears had started to form in her eyes, but she tried to blink them back.
jessica spoke up. "what do you have against her, anyway? i know for a fact she hasn't mocked you for having a dick."
"his birth certificate, his junk, and every law of biology says he's male. i'm just listening to science," charles gloated. louise pushed back more tears.
"i said, shut your fucking mouth."
"and what are you gonna do about it, pussy?" charles threatened. "wait, that's right, you don't have one."
louise clenched her fist, reeled back and delivered a hard blow straight to his jawline.
—
"yes, please come to the school immediately. there's been an... incident involving louise. she- yes, she- she punched another student in the jaw. yes. yes, we need you here as soon as possible. thank you."
louise sighed. the principal gave her a dirty glance, which she returned, as he set the phone back down onto the receiver.
outside the closed office door stood jessica, her backpack as well as louise's bag slung over her shoulders.
"if you don't return to class, i'll have to file a detention," the secretary told her.
"i don't care," jessica replied. "my girlfriend matters more to me. you may as well mark me absent. i'm leaving with her."
the principal's office was dead silent for the ten minutes it took for bob to arrive.
louise pulled her hat down further on her head, attempting to cover as much as her face as possible, as she heard her father walk in. "thank you for coming so quickly, mr. belcher."
"yeah," bob said. "uh, what happened? you said over the phone louise punched someone?"
"that's correct. he was teasing her-"
"he wasn't just 'teasing' me," louise spoke up. "he was misgendering me. he called me a 'tranny'. he was mocking me for my body."
the principal shot louise another dirty look, indicating that she had better shut her mouth. "...either way, while we don't endorse bullying, we cannot have students reacting violently. the other student is currently in the nurse's office. the consequences are going to have to be as severe as suspension."
"wait, i'm sorry - it sounds like this kid was discriminating against louise for being transgender. she's the antagonist here?" bob said.
"there will be consequences for the other student involved, but-"
"look, i get that punching someone isn't the best way to resolve conflict. but from the sounds of it, this kid was being, like, really transphobic. i'm gonna stand by my kid when she's given crap for something like this."
"he wants me to write an apology letter, dad," louise spoke up again, turning to bob. "i'm not writing any damn apology to anyone."
bob sighed. "how many days is she being suspended for?"
"three. for the rest of this week."
he sighed again. "alright. louise, we can talk more at home. let's go."
louise gave bob a hug as the office door shut behind them. "thank you for accepting me."
bob hugged her back. "of course. i love you very much."
as the hug dispersed, jessica handed louise her bag and the two linked hands again. bob turned to them. "jessica, i don't think-"
"i want to be here for louise."
bob looked at them for a moment before turning back around. "alright."
"how was it?" jessica asked softly.
"shitty."
"what's your time?"
"three days suspension. he told me to write an apology letter to charles but i'm not writing jack shit."
"ugh. gross," jessica muttered. "sorry you have to go through this crap. i love you," she said, giving louise a small peck.
louise smiled tiredly. "i love you too."
as the two climbed into the back seat, bob dialed linda's number and started the car. he explained everything as they drove. and when louise got to the top of the stairs of the apartment, linda immediately rushed over and started to hug her.
"oh, my baby, i'm sorry you had to put up with that crap," she said, arms wrapped around her daughter. "i'll kill someone if i have to. nobody disrespects my louise and gets away with it."
for once, louise didn't struggle against her embrace. "thanks, mom. you don't have to kill anyone. jessica and i can do that."
"okay. but let me know if you need somewhere to hide the body," linda replied jokingly. finally she let louise go, planting a kiss on her forehead.
"is it okay if i just... go to my room for a while and get my shit together? please?" louise mumbled. "i'm not feeling the best about myself right now."
"yeah, of course," bob replied. "let us know if you need anything. we're on your side here."
louise gave a halfhearted smile. "thank you. love you." quietly, she walked to her room, a hand still in jessica's own.
"i hate this stupid body," louise said, laying down on her bed. "i hate it. i swear, one of these days i'm gonna snap and grab one of dad's knives and give bottom surgery to myself."
"oh my god, please don't."
louise sighed. "i won't. probably."
slowly, she grabbed the ears of her hat and pulled them off of her head, before holding the fabric to her cheek. she tried to blink back her tears, but at this point it was no use.
they started to fall slowly. then faster. and eventually a steady stream ran down her cheeks. quiet sobs climbed up from her throat.
jessica laid down next to louise and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's waist. gently, she planted kisses on her neck and cheeks, before nuzzling into her chest.
louise was finally able to stop the tearshed, and she sniffled before tiredly running the back of her wrist over her eyes and leaving them closed. she returned jessica's embrace, and after a moment louise started to kiss her, gently running a hand through her hair.
"i love you," the ginger said as they broke apart, "and i'll never stop supporting you."
"i love you too. so much."
the two laid snuggled up for a good half hour, before louise quietly drifted off to sleep. jessica stayed cuddled up against her, resting, but never quite sleeping.
—
"are you feeling any better?"
"a little bit."
"you wanna go have some cereal?"
"...yeah. that sounds nice."
bob and linda had gone back downstairs to help tina in the restaurant, so they had the apartment to themselves. the two spoke quietly as they ate, about anything, everything, nothing. jessica tried to keep the conversation away from what had happened earlier. louise seemed content. tired, upset, but content.
and then gene's voice rung through the apartment. and jessica watched as a volcano erupted in louise's brown eyes.
without a word, she stood up from the kitchen table, marched to the stairwell and gave gene a hard slap in the face.
"louise, what the hell?! what was that for?" he said, putting a hand to his fresh wound.
"that was for telling a complete stranger that i'm trans." she slapped him a second time, harder. "that was for all the transphobic horseshit he threw up at me afterwards." a third time. "and that was for all my dysphoria and self hatred."
"oh my god, what? you mean charles?"
"yeah. you talked to him this morning, didn't you? what the hell happened?" her voice was sharp as a needle, and a fire seemed to dance on her tongue. jessica had followed louise and was now standing behind her.
"i was talking in the library with my friends about pride in june," gene started. "we were planning on going all as a big group. i mentioned you could come along, and courtney asked how your transitioning was going, and then charles came up and asked what i was talking about so i explained and- ohhh. yeah. shit."
"what did i explicitly ask you not to do, when i was seven goddamned years old? and what has remained true, now more than ever?"
"not... to tell anyone... that you were trans... unless you said i could- yeah, louise, i see where i went wrong here."
she gave him a sucker punch to the gut.
"oh my god, can you please stop hurting me?!"
"the crowd that gathered when he started shittalking me knows i'm trans now. i've been outted to a bunch of people, some of which i don't even know, when i didn't want to be seen as anything but a cis girl in the first place - all because you couldn't fucking keep your mouth shut."
"louise, i'm sorry. i messed up here. i get it. you have every right to be mad at me."
"i don't want to be anywhere near you," louise stated, before walking past him and into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. gene sighed.
jessica glanced from louise's bedroom door to her brother. gene noticed her, and turned to her.
"i really messed up."
jessica spoke up sheepishly. "yeah, you kinda did."
"do you think she hates me now?"
"for maybe a week, yeah. but i think she'll get over it just as soon as everyone else does."
gene walked sullenly into the kitchen, jessica trailing him. he sat down at the table. "she doesn't deserve to have all these kids know about it. god, i need to learn how to shut my mouth."
"hey," jessica started, "as someone who tends to hang around in the background a lot, i do plenty of people-watching. and i've learned that eventually, people are gonna drop it and move on. because nobody really cares all that much."
"what if people start asking her questions?"
"she's good at ignoring people. and you're one of her best friends, gene - she'll forgive you. just give her time."
gene sighed. "i hope."
"don't force anything, okay? give her some space?"
"okay."
jessica stood up from the table, taking louise's bowl and her own and putting them into the dishwasher. "i should probably go let her talk shit about you."
"understandable. go ahead."
jessica gave a small smile. "good luck, gene."
"you too."