-3rd person-

silence reigns supreme, in the small room. A boy no older than 16 sits silent, waiting for the clock to turn, he is not alone in his waiting; even if he doesn't know it he is joined by thousands of others. all waiting for the same thing, the clock strikes 12:00, and he utters the fateful words in a near reverent tone, "LINK START!"

-1st person-

After inputting my information, I decided to name myself Hiroto, it was similar to my real name, though not like anybody's going to know who I am, i don't think Eiichi is playing, I clicked the OK button and began to design his character. He was tall with black hair and grey eyes, when I was finished I again hit the OK button and castle aincrad appeared around him.

the town of beginnings was a fairly large town, but filled to the brim with people, it felt smaller than it really was; so I left the starting town and journeyed into the fields populated with bores. I drew my starter two handed great sword and squared off with a fairly large bore, it pawed the ground, 'how very life-like'. I slid to the side letting the bore charge past me and slicing the bore side as it went, then I turned and paired the bores second charge, and stabbed my sword into it's face, and watched it shatter into polygons.

"good job, you can kill something as weak as a slime in most games". I turned to see a man in the red starting armor and with red hair. 'and here is the generic asshole character of the internet'

"damn right, you can't handle the kind of badassery that is me right now." he replied, sarcasm thick in his voice

Mr. red chuckled "so does this amazing bad ass have a name?" the read haired man said

"no" was hiroto simple reply.

"damn, than i shall forever know you only as, Mr. bad ass bore slayer,mountain killer, conquer of worlds the 5th" with each word his voice became louder more epic reaching a crescendo at the word worlds, then subsequently dropping down back to his normal voice to say 'the 5th'. I laughed, almost cackled at his antics.

"so does this generic internet ass hole have a name " I said already suspecting who it was, I knew only one person that talked like that.

" the name's Jaush" ((yes his name is meant to be spelled that way)) he said a smile rising to his lips.

"I knew It was you,Eiichi, you fucking ass, don't mess with me" my words were mean, but we knew each other long enough for him to know I meant no harm.

"oh fuck you to, is that any way to greet an old friend?" he said jokingly.

"when the old friend is you, hell yea." We fell into our usual highly offensive, curse filled witty banter, with no regard for where we were. because of that only moments later, I felt a huge lump of fur covered muscle slam into me, and sent me sprawling. I heard a bores scream and a shout of excitement, and I looked up to see the most comical thing I have seen in years. Jaush sat astride the massive bore, his sword blade driven through its head to keep from falling off as It reared up on its hind legs, pawing the air looking for all the world like a horse in a old western flick, silhouetted against the setting sun. and as it reached its full height jaush tipped an imaginary cowboy hat and shouted,

"YEEHAW!" .

authors note

ALLRIGHT chapter one finished, as you can probably tell, this is meant to be a stupid funny story, written by a stupid funny writer, for people looking for a quick laugh. so don't judge.