(Hey! This is a fic I wrote while I was listening to Johnny Cash's cover of hurt. Be warned, a lot of angst and suicide)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the works by Rick Riordan.

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real

She can't feel anything but the ache anymore. The sharp pain followed by the dull ache.

Some part of her tells her it didn't have to be like this. Piper, Jesus, Piper, it didn't have to be this way. This isn't what he would want.

She agrees. But she doesn't stop.

The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

Another drug to try. Maybe it will kill her this time. Maybe a hot dose this time, maybe something deadly in the cut.

But no.

So she injects it, snorts it, drinks it, smokes it. Whatever it is, she'll try it. To make Leo's dying face, his dying words stop haunting her.

It makes the memories go away for just a few minutes.

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

She's in a park, half-drunk and half-high, thinking about where her life has gone. Where Annabeth, Percy, Jason, Frank, Hazel, and even Reyna are right now.

Even where Drew, Octavian, or any of those idiots are.

But she knows where Leo is. And then she cries until morning.

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

One day, Annabeth is knocking on her door, and Piper wonders why.
Annabeth comforts her, Piper accepts and they talk for a while. Annabeth asks her to come back to Camp, that her and Percy are getting married, and Piper looks away.

"I can't."

"Piper,"

"No, Annabeth. I can't. I don't want to. I love you as a sister, but I can't go back to that damn Camp."

Annabeth snaps to her feet. "He wouldn't want you moping around like this you know. He still loves you." And then she storms out.

Piper decides she need a drink or eight at ten in the morning.

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

But Piper shows up anyway. She puts on her best mask and gives everyone small smiles and says nothing. They're all glad she came. Even Drew hugs her sister tightly, and Octavian says nothing at all.

She honestly smiles when Percy and Annabeth kiss on the altar. They had decided to have the ceremony on the shore, under an olive tree.

Piper starts to cry as well, but not out of overwhelmed emotions for the couple, but herself. And Leo. The ceremony they could have had.

Piper stays only for a few minutes afterwards, giving her Katoptris. Piper decides if anyone should have it, it would be the happy couple's daughter.

Previously, it was going to be a mischievous girl with elf ears and kaleidoscope eyes who would get the dagger.

Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

Piper isn't surprised when her mother comes to visit. She knew this might be coming. Aphrodite asks Piper to tell her everything, and Piper does.

"Love doesn't die, honey," the goddess says, hugging her daughter.

Piper screams into her shoulder. "But he did! He's done! And I can't be with him now!" she seethed.

Aphrodite kisses Piper's hair a million times. "I know. I know. You'll be with him again one day Piper."

The girl with the eyes of colors just sighs. "I want it to be now."

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

Piper smiles at the baby girl she holds in her arms. Silena. Named after the daughter of Aphrodite that died in the Titan War.
Annabeth smiles as Piper is stupidly happy for the first time since Leo died, making sounds and faces at the baby. Percy cracks a grin as well.
They don't know Piper just figured it all out.

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

Piper is sure that no one will be that upset. That they will be sad and upset for a while, but will get over it. Because they have hope in life.
She has none.

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

So when Piper McLean, Hero of the Giant War, greatest charmspeaker alive, throws herself off the highest bridge in New York city, she regrets nothing.
She's so sure he can Leo's laugh in her eyes, inviting her to him.