Title: The Wrong Person

Pairing: Nick/Zak

Rating: G

Summary: Nick and zak's relationship from Roni's POV.

Disclaimer: Don't own – please don't sue. Blah, blah, blah.

Author's notes: I was cleaning up some old files on my computer and came across a story I wrote years ago for another pairing. Roni suddenly started yakking in my ear about telling her side of things. The muses can't be denied (as much as I might want to).

The Wrong Person

I'm not a stupid person.

I see the flirting, the touches that linger just a bit too long, the electricity that crackles in the air whenever they are in the same room. I am fully aware of the longing looks, the whispers between them, the way they each grab any excuse to make contact with the other.

Some people may think that losing your husband to another man is even worse than another woman, but I don't see it that way. To me, it's actually easier to deal with because I don't have to wonder what the other woman has that I don't. I know that Zak can offer him things that I never could. Besides the obvious physical differences, he can give Nick the kind of emotional support that only someone who has been through the same things could. He knows what it's like to be followed home by things no one can see, to have his dreams haunted by unspeakable images, to wake up screaming and shaking in the dead of night. I've been awakened many times by the sounds of a hushed phone call as Nick talks to one of the few people who can truly understand. I always pretend to be asleep when he crawls back into our bed, temporarily comforted by the man he loves.

I am also not a bad person. I want Nick to be happy. Do I wish I could be the one to make him that way? Of course I do. I think any normal person would feel the same.

Sometimes, I wish I could hate Zak. It would be so much easier if I didn't know what a genuinely good person he is. His outer facade hides a huge heart. When I was pregnant with Annabelle and suffering horrible morning sickness, he would send Nick home with crackers and herbal teas for me, nonchalantly stating that his sister swore by them when she was expecting. As much as he professes that children make him uncomfortable, you'd never know it to see him with Annabelle. He's unendingly patient with her, whether he's holding her tiny hands while she takes faltering steps or making block towers for hours just so she can knock them over and laugh in delight. He didn't set out to make my husband fall in love with him. The heart wants what it wants.

I know that they love each other. That fact is blatantly obvious to me. I also know that they both love Annabelle enough to not want her hurt by a bitter divorce.

I know that Nick doesn't love me anymore – at least not the way he loves Zak. He loves me as the mother of his child, but he is in love with him. The way he looks at him plainly tells me that this man holds his heart in a way I never have and never will. He is miserable when he is not with Zak and guilty when he is.

So, I will do what Nick will never be able to bring himself to do. Tomorrow morning I will file the papers to begin divorce proceedings. We will have joint custody of Annabelle, and hopefully the three of us will be able to help her adjust fairly easily. I will not out them, both for myself and for them. The decision to go public with their relationship or not will be theirs alone.

I'm not a stupid person.

I'm not a bad person.

I'm just the wrong person.