A.N. In honor of Jess's return ( come on guys, you know you've been waiting all season for tonight's episode, same as me) here is my take on his thoughts as he comes back to Stars Hollow. Please read and review, let me know what you think and whether I should continue. I don't know how tonight's episode is going to go, of course, but I'm sure you all will forgive any storyline contradictions. And Jess seems so incredibly out of character, I know, and I apologize for it- it's just that he's such an incredibly complicated person.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. All rights belong to Warner Brother's and its affiliates.
Chapter 1
It's hard to go back home when you can't do so in glory. It's one thing when you're returning with presents for your friends and family and tales of your successes, I guess. But when you're returning a high school drop out, to retrieve your wreck of a car, wishing without much hope to make amends with your uncle and ex-girlfriend- yeah, then it's hard.
Not that I ever exactly considered Stars Hollow my home. It was where I lived sure, but I don't belong to places the way some people seem to, and I prefer New York. But I got pretty fond of this place, as far as that goes- a little interested in the people, somewhat happy at Luke's.
Of course, I would never have become interested in any of that without Rory. She was definitely the reason I begin to take interest in my life here. I'm from New York, after all, and however eccentric these weird people might be( and weird they most certainly are), I didn't find them impressive. But Rory was brilliant in addition to being different, she read the way I do, and because I found myself wanting to spend time with her, I had to exert myself a little and stop being entirely exasperated with everything. I still didn't care much for the town, though. I don't know when I actually begin to feel involved with Stars Hollow, but that was gradual.
I drove in from California and got my car, but I decided not to go in search of old acquaintances. I thought about talking to Luke, of course, but I just- didn't. Still, apparently I am going to have to, since this cop who just pulled me over for stealing my car has called him, so complete avoidance is no longer an option.
If I'm going to face Luke I think I might have to also to see Rory too, even if just for some peace of mind . I know that I really messed up our friendship, not even to mention everything else between us, and I don't know if I can explain to her why. I don't think an apology is the right way to approach her- it seems cheap and insufficient. She's at an Ivy League university and I've yet to graduate, but I don't feel that to be the real problem. The differences in our present situations are nothing compared to the barrier I created when I left last spring without a word of goodbye.
I told her I would call her, and I did, from California. But I never said anything when she answered. On the day she graduated I called her cell phone, because I wanted to say congratulations, tell her where I was and that I was happy for her. But I didn't say that- I didn't say anything, but I didn't hang up, either. And she began talking- she knew who it was, I guess she had all along. She told me that she thought she might have loved me, but that she just had to get over it, she had to move on. Rory's gone to college, she's had six months to do just that, and I don't suppose she thinks that much about us, but I hope that when she does she doesn't flinch.
I confess, I don't know what I'm planning on doing once I'm back within the town borders. But I have not given up on Rory. When she was with Dean, I didn't accept that, even though people thought I should have, because I knew that there was more to the situation then what everyone else saw. I still feel that way.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. All rights belong to Warner Brother's and its affiliates.
Chapter 1
It's hard to go back home when you can't do so in glory. It's one thing when you're returning with presents for your friends and family and tales of your successes, I guess. But when you're returning a high school drop out, to retrieve your wreck of a car, wishing without much hope to make amends with your uncle and ex-girlfriend- yeah, then it's hard.
Not that I ever exactly considered Stars Hollow my home. It was where I lived sure, but I don't belong to places the way some people seem to, and I prefer New York. But I got pretty fond of this place, as far as that goes- a little interested in the people, somewhat happy at Luke's.
Of course, I would never have become interested in any of that without Rory. She was definitely the reason I begin to take interest in my life here. I'm from New York, after all, and however eccentric these weird people might be( and weird they most certainly are), I didn't find them impressive. But Rory was brilliant in addition to being different, she read the way I do, and because I found myself wanting to spend time with her, I had to exert myself a little and stop being entirely exasperated with everything. I still didn't care much for the town, though. I don't know when I actually begin to feel involved with Stars Hollow, but that was gradual.
I drove in from California and got my car, but I decided not to go in search of old acquaintances. I thought about talking to Luke, of course, but I just- didn't. Still, apparently I am going to have to, since this cop who just pulled me over for stealing my car has called him, so complete avoidance is no longer an option.
If I'm going to face Luke I think I might have to also to see Rory too, even if just for some peace of mind . I know that I really messed up our friendship, not even to mention everything else between us, and I don't know if I can explain to her why. I don't think an apology is the right way to approach her- it seems cheap and insufficient. She's at an Ivy League university and I've yet to graduate, but I don't feel that to be the real problem. The differences in our present situations are nothing compared to the barrier I created when I left last spring without a word of goodbye.
I told her I would call her, and I did, from California. But I never said anything when she answered. On the day she graduated I called her cell phone, because I wanted to say congratulations, tell her where I was and that I was happy for her. But I didn't say that- I didn't say anything, but I didn't hang up, either. And she began talking- she knew who it was, I guess she had all along. She told me that she thought she might have loved me, but that she just had to get over it, she had to move on. Rory's gone to college, she's had six months to do just that, and I don't suppose she thinks that much about us, but I hope that when she does she doesn't flinch.
I confess, I don't know what I'm planning on doing once I'm back within the town borders. But I have not given up on Rory. When she was with Dean, I didn't accept that, even though people thought I should have, because I knew that there was more to the situation then what everyone else saw. I still feel that way.