1972
January
The New Year rang in for Remus Lupin that year at Hogwarts for the first of many times. It was also the first time he celebrated it with his new friends – James, Sirius, and Peter. But a sinking feeling in his heart also told him it would be the last time he'd celebrate it with his best friends.
They would know soon, Remus had a hunch. They would know.
They wouldn't want to be friends with him after they found out what he was.
A monster, a beast, a werewolf.
So he had to enjoy the time he had.
There wasn't a singular event in January that would stick out in Remus's memory – all he could remember was thinking about when the time came that they would guess the truth.
Werewolf.
What would happen? When would it happen? How long would it take them to tell the rest of the school?
Damn, he was having problems with this.
But Remus knew how he would react – no matter how much they yelled, screamed, even if they hit him, even if they told the whole school, he had to do one thing.
Be honorable.
Remus had to respect their decision to hate them, no matter what. Because James, Sirius, and Peter were honorable. They were worthy.
Remus, of course, was the least worthy, scum-filled creature the world had ever seen. But he could try to be honorable, just once.
Just try.
Just so he could be worthy of an ounce of his friends' respect.
Because he wanted it more than anything.
To be respected by his friends.
They respected him now, of course, despite his lies about his location during those fateful days after the full moon he spent holed up in the hospital wing.
But they would never respect when they found out.
Werewolf.
Because they would find out eventually, Remus knew.
But he had to remember –
Honorable.
It was all he had left.
No matter how freaking depressed it made him thinking about it.
They were going to find out.
His worst fear was going to come true, and soon.
Remember, Remus, when the time comes.
Be honorable.