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Burden of Love
He thought the pain would get easier each time he saw her again. That somehow the ever present knot of longing and regret would loosen just a little whenever he saw how happy she was.
He was alone on a little cliff overlooking the cozy bonfire gathering on the little beach below. He was far enough to see without being sensed by any of the wolves who would protect her with their own lives. Standing like a statue long forgotten in the forest, he felt a frisson of warmth touch his cold, still heart as his senses honed in on her.
He could see the joy on her face, could hear her laughter, could even smell her fresh strawberry scent wafting to him on the chill ocean air. He was grateful that the wind seemed to be on his side tonight. It would afford him a little more time to observe her from the shadows, observe her as she lived in her circle of light.
She was sitting on the lap of her wolf both of them on the sand surrounded by the other wolves and their imprints. He looked on with his too perfect vision as she leaned against the wolf snuggling in closer when he nuzzled his face into her neck, her lithe and dainty frame engulfed in warm, protective arms.
That was where she belonged.
Not caged in his cold arms that gave her goose bumps on her creamy skin. He vividly remembered the feel of her silky flesh, the way she would burrow against him, overcoming her discomfort at his coldness just so she could be close to him.
Edward felt the familiar sting in his eyes, his too perfect eyes that would not allow him to release the hurt he always carried. The hurt he felt was like a burden he carried in his mind which even though vast, didn't seem big enough to hold it.
It was a burden he fervently loved.
He cursed the very thing that kept him away from her. He hated his perfection. He hated his eternally resilient body that could unwittingly hurt her with a misplaced touch, hated his unnatural appetite that could end her life with just one taste. He could do things others would kill for, could travel the world a million times over but all he wanted was to exist in a world where she belonged with him. He had everything and he was nothing. Nothing without her…
And she wasn't his.
The pain was unbearable like flames suffocating him but he would endure the burning agony for an eternity if only for these fleeting glimpses of her. Because it was moments like this when he actually lived and not merely existed. He only existed for the next moment when he could see her, when he could hurt.
And in the end, when her time on this planet they all shared was complete, when she went away, he would go with her. He would follow her, follow the hurt that made him live in this present moment. He couldn't be with her in life but he would join her in death.
A.N.: Just a little tidbit of Eddie's perspective if one of the wolves had imprinted on Bella and she moved on after he left her...