Mary Suicide
Hi everyone,
My name is Mary Sue, and I hate all the people pairing me up with billions of guys who I don't even know or like. I just wish I could go back to my loving boyfriend Gary Stu, but he was b*tch slapped so much by all the women people set him up with that he died. So now I am going to join him, and this is the last time I will try, though it is not the first. I basically have the note saved as a Word document from all the times I have attempted to commit suicide. First, it was having that Percy Jackson character try to stab me with his sword, but I am mortal so I guess I'm not IMPORTANT enough. And then all the other guys either pussied out, or wouldn't give me a chance to try to kill myself. But I stole Alex Rider's gun (he only loves Sabina!) and it's cocked and loaded. I have it pressed against my temple right nows and as soon as I finish this letter, I will end myself. Goodbye you a*sholes. Stop making me look like such a slut!
with worst wishes upon your souls,
Mary Sue
P.s. This letter is, like, so hard, lik, to write bc I has bad grammarsez whateversies!
Hey I'm singing the LINE BREAK song, gonna sing all day long, la la la… HOLY CRAP BISCUITS WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU WATCHING ME SHOWER?! PERVS! sorry guys you're gonna have to go to the next part of the story now
Hey, so the P.S. was one of the hardest pieces of writing. It hurt… so much pain… please just end me! I am a bit of a grammar Nazi, so that is why it hurt me so badly.