Tom nook was being bornig and woknring in his shop when suddenly a misterious pink clowd appeared. Tom Nook gasped melodramatickali and his Baby Blue Ivy eyes widened when he saw a wired creatur. it looked kinda like a weird ass cat, but with little hairs hanging down its face with rings like a gypsies and it (it because he didn't know if it even had a gender) had red eies and a really fucking creepy and anowyin g catt smileeee.
"Nigga who da fuk are you?" tom nook asked and he reached for his shot gu gun when suddenli that weird fucking creature takcled him and pinterested him to da ground.
"mah name's kyubei, you nook!" it said. it's voice was really, really spoopy. tom nook began to fell terrific - i mmean terrifyed.
"what chu say?"
"i said... i'm kyubei, BITCH!11111" kyubei then turned tom nook into tom snooki. he was still a rakkun (or tanuki watever dem japanese call dem) but now he was wering snooki's clothes and he had a FAT ASS MAN.
"no! what do u want?" tom's voice was shaky's (pizza) and he trembled like a lil' bitch. kyubei laughed evilly, like that shrot evil deep laugh in the yyoutube puups.
"do you want to build a snowman?"
"NO" tom nook pulled out his gun dat magicall y teleported to his ass, but kyubei flicked out his sexay tongue and ate it. tom nook gasped.
"do you want to have magic and have the power to bee rich?"
"what chu say" tom nook was surprised!
"you heard me, BIATCH! man you as thick as you momma's ass" kyubei slapped him and he moaned in pain "katrina looked thru urur cristal balls ad said if i givees you te magic you have very money." kyubei explined as if he were speaking to a damn chilllld. tom nook gasped and had an orgasm.
"YUS." he was about to scream when kyubei slapped him with his big ass ears and tbagged him before twerking on his face. tom nook got mad. he did all sorts of rageeee feces.
"WHAT TE HELL ARE U DOING YU MOTHARFUKER" (reference!11!) tom nook shreked. his face turned to dubmlydors for a second, then shreks, before he went back to normal.
"you can get teh magiks if u have sex wit me" kyubei said. tom nook blushed furiously.
"k-kyubei sama" there was a pink background and sparkles and bubbles and their eyes turned into de stupehd shojo eyes.
"nook-kun..." kyubei had a handsom3 faace. they made out passionlately, and kyubei's tongue licked tomns face like gene simmons from kiss. they kissed indeed. maybe thats why they called him dat.
ANYWAY BACK TO TEH SEXAY STORII
tey made out passiunately, and tom nook changed into a bikini bottom.
"u look sexeh. we shall have teh buttsecks now." kyubei said. tom nook moaned and wiggled his ass.
"YUSSSSSSS" he mwelled,, sexily. kyubei ripped off his arpon. tom gasped in ANGER
"bitch i paid fr that!" he yelled, but he was bitch slapped.
"shut the fuck up" kyubei said in a weirdly distrubnig yet, to tmo nuk, hot voice. he looked at his huge ballz and gasped.
"woah, tanuki do have really huge-"
"bags of bells" tom nook said "now fuk meh"
kyubei magically summoned lube and rubbed it on his cawk (it's male!, tom nook though) and plunged deep into tom nook's bubble butt. it looked like dose ones dey rappers sang in songs.
den dey had passiunate buttsex and moaned really loudly and in a cartoony manner. they became red, and turned into rapidash's for a moment. then they returned..
"oh mah goodness i'm e.e. cummings" kyubei scremed
"me 2" tom nook said, and a 2 formed on his head. then they came and kyubei ripped out tom nook's organs as he pulled out. tom nook screamed.
"oh shit r u oky" kyubei said.
"no bitch cant you see im not! YOU JUST REIPPED OUT MY ORGANISMSZZZ!" tom nook yelled. he bgan to cry and his teared splatted all over de store like waterfalls.
"oh fuck oh craptoast im suryy" kyubei had a very large tear drip down hiis face, een tho it kept teh seme expression. tm nokia cried and den suddenly became happy.
"WTF" kyubei said,,. freaked out.
"it otay baby- bebbah i like that" tom nook was bbeeding to deth but was still turned awn.
"ew you fucking freak" kyubei said, and flipped his shit before runnign awaaay and eating himself to the grills- i mean guilles theme
"no, ktuubeeiii" yom nook yelled. ten he died.
stauart little did they know sable was watching the whole time. she was emo now and gasped. her tears of blood dell fown and wooined her tgothic makeup.
"tom nook doesnt loe meh. you bitch!" she slapped katie, the little kat, who cried and ran away to her momma and was mentally traumatied by teh scene.
"gooodbye world" sable said and stretched her arm like slenderman inside the store before grabbing tonuki'sshotgun and killing herself.
"okay goodbye sabe hve a beuaitufl tiem" the wrld siad, and den shed tears causing flooding in the world has she unxpectly shot herself.
heer head exploded, and her body twitched and few around like a gmod character before she flew away into nothingness, really ded.!432r3ut834uwet*r9398a0578( U$(*#
suddnely as eeveryun was dead, patrick came out of nowere from teh waves and looked closer with spongebob.
"did he died?" spongebob axed. sady was horrified and made a damatic chipmunk face as she gasped and cried before eating carls jr. squidsaid fuck it and left. mr krabs robbed all them monehz and became a rich mtherfucker before he played theh world smallest violin. when he finished, he gave dem de crabs. te crab finger.
"bye fatherfuckers. loses." den he ran away and left gigglinglike an anime schoolgirl.
patrick pulled out his heart and trew it at sable's haed. then he checked for a pulse, and found none. he turnedto them bored, and said "yeah, um... bitch dey dead" before waling away.
and that was the end of the beautiful romance tragyesdy storii of tom nook and kyuebei.
the end.