He was incredibly dorky. Scruffy black hair that hadn't been brushed in who knows how many sweeps, a lanky body, and strange pants that went all the way up to his armpits. He was incredibly dorky, and she couldn't help but wax pale for him.
Porrim didn't know how it started, but one day, out of nowhere, she couldn't help but take care of Kankri. She started trying harder when she pretended to listen to his sermons, she started feeling more defensive when people snapped at him, she started worrying about his safety. It was very overwhelming.
At first, he tried to ignore when she started trying to brush his hair or watch over him from a distance when he talked to his other friends, but, eventually, he started trying to reject it when she did actions like this. That's when she realized how pink and pale her feelings were. It was when he rejected her actions because of his vow of celibacy.
She knew he was only doing it for show, as a pretentious way of saying "I'm better than the rest of you", but that didn't make him any less serious about it. He could definitely feel things, Porrim knew this from the way his face would become slightly pink around Latula, or the way he would stutter when Porrim tried to act like a moirail.
It wasn't all in her head, Kankri definitely waxed pale back. But he wasn't going to ignore his vows for her.
Every time he pushed her away or got upset with her, it hurt badly, she couldn't do this much longer. So she decided that she was going to solve this once and for all. She pulled out a ball of red yarn and some knitting needles, and spent all day and all night working on a present.
The next day, she walked up to Kankri, who had a snobby look on his face as usual, and tapped his shoulder. "Hello, Kankri." she greeted him. With a smile on her face, she passed him the item she had put her heart into all of yesterday. "I made you something" she said, trying to hold on to all the hope she could. He unfolded the gift, revealing a big red sweater. He pulled it over his head, straightened it out, and then said "Th-thank you", stuttering like he always did at Porrim's pale gestures. He then began going on about how Porrim was a great friend in a completely platonic way, and how he was lucky to have a great friend in a completely platonic way like her, then left.
Porrim tried to smile all the way through, but it disappeared the second that he turned around.
Her heart hurt a little.