AN: This is the story I was talking about in my last chapter of 'Once more with Feeling'. I posted that chapter and suddenly had the urge to write this story. So I sat down and wrote.

This all was made up in one hour, so please bear with me.

This story is rated for a reason! There will be massive psychic pressure in later chapters. You were warned!

Disclaimer

I own nothing (and am in no mood to write a larger disclaimer).

CHAPTER ONE
:-:- Losing You -:-:

If I'd known what was awaiting me that day I would have begged you to stay home. I wouldn't have let you leave the dojo, no matter what odd looks you would have thrown me or what you would have said. No matter how much you begged or yelled at me. I would even have bound and gagged you, kept savely locked in your room. I would have…

… If I'd only known…

… you'd still be alive…

"Stop it!", Kaoru yelled. When the man strove to attack again she wielded the saya she was clutching and knocked him out cold. 'Next time better listen to what I am saying!'

She nervously looked around if there was anyone of her attackers left, but none of the men moved anymore. All out cold.

"Good…", she said to herself and let the saya sink to the ground, relaxing a bit. Then she looked over to the place where Kenshin was still fighting the last one of the thugs.

It all had started harmless enough.

She'd asked Kenshin if he could accompany her to the town to buy some food. Of course he'd said yes and came, he would always do that. So they went to town, did their shopping and walked back to the dojo. But shortly after they'd left the more busy parts of Tokyo and were walking along the river those guys had stopped them. Two of them were standing right in the middle of the street, stopping them. They had started to flirt with Kaoru, going all 'Why don't abandon that girly-one and come with us real men?', but she'd dealt with that kind of men before. She waved them off, telling Kenshin to stop glaring at them and leave with her. Kenshin had hesitated – the way they treated her drove him mad – but she'd insisted on leaving. And the men wouldn't let them.

And all of a sudden three other men appeared behind them, trapping them. They told Kenshin that if he'd leave the girl to them he'd survive this whole thing. Then they'd drawn swords.

Kenshin immediately let the food he was carrying fall and drew his sword, too. Then he'd handed his saya to Kaoru, 'for self-defense' as he stated simply. She had gladly taken it.

The three men behind had gone for Kaoru, as she was the weaker goal to them. But they were wrong. Now they all laid flat on the ground, maybe broken a bone or two because the saya was made of steel, and would surely wish that they'd never been born as soon as they were awake.

Kaoru wiped away the sweat on her face and went to the direction Kenshin was fighting. The both thugs were really good with a sword. One of them was already out cold, but he had withstood Kenshin's attacks for quite a while. The last one and Kenshin had went down to the riverside during their fight. The thug was a really fast one, nearly matching Kenshin's speed, and of great skill with a sword. Kenshin had a hard time blocking most of his attacks.

But he would be fine, Kaoru was sure of that.

"What is happening here?", suddenly asked a voice behind her. Surprised she whirled around – and nearly hit an old man.

"Ah… su-sumanu…", she stuttered. The old man looked at her, he didn't seem to be scared by the fact that the woman had nearly struck him down. "Well…", she started, "I and my friend, the one with the red hair, were attacked by these other men. They… wanted to rob us, so we defended ourselves."

"I see…"

"Please, could you go get the police?", Kaoru asked.

"Of course.", the man said, "But be sure you don't try to knock them down as well, will you?" He grinned at her and turned to run into town. Kaoru nodded absent-mindedly, already turning back to watch Kenshin's fight.

She frowned as she realized that they were getting even nearer to the river. That was dangerous! The river was flowing so fast that it would surely carry you away, no matter how much you struggled to reach its shore.

Suddenly she heard Kenshin cry out in pain. She focused on him again, only to see that the attacker had managed to slash his right leg. Blood was creeping all over Kenshin's hakama.

"Kenshin!", she called out anxiously. Kenshin gritted his teeth and attacked the man again.

Kaoru ran down to them. This was not good! The wound made Kenshin slower, giving his attacker an advantage he wouldn't miss. She gripped the saya a bit tighter. 'I'll help him.', was all that was running through her mind, 'I'll knock the guy down from behind, that's the only way I can help.'

…

What happened next haunted her dreams for the rest of her life.

It was as if she saw it all happening in slow-motion…

Kenshin found a gap in the attacker's defense and leapt into an attack of his own. Then he sprang back. But the grass he was landing on was wet with his own blood. He slipped on it and fell backwards.

Kaoru saw it all happen and tried to run fast, stretching out her hand for Kenshin to grab it – but she was too slow.

He fell into the river.

A few meters later he emerged out of the water again, clinging frantically onto the grass on the rivershore. The water threatened to pull him under-water.

"Kenshin!", Kaoru called out and ran to him. She grabbed one of his hands and tried to pull, but the water was pulling him the other way, tearing him away. And then she felt his fingers slip.

Wide-eyed she looked at Kenshin and met his scared gaze.

"Kaoru!", he brought out.

Then his hand slipped out of her grip. She saw him being whirled through the water. Then he vanished under the surface.

She stared at the river in shock. 'No.' That was all she could think of. 'No.'

Then she her head realized what just happened. And her heart was torn into pieces. And all she could do was to cry.

"IYAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

AN: Should I continue? Please tell me!