Mama
Rifiuto: Non Miriena
Summary: There were days when she couldn't believe it; that he'd given her this beautiful gift. Established McGiva. Rated M for content.
A/N: Jeez, Zani, how many stories do you have for this site? Sorry, my future sister-in-law has a folder just for one-shots that aren't posted yet that's got... 70 documents in it. I found this in Zani's Blood and Bones folder on her laptop. Don't know why she never posted it. Figured I'd post it; I'm still trying to decipher my brother's... yeah, it's not even writing. He doesn't know how to write, it's just pencil scratches on paper that make up a chapter. So, hopefully this will tide you all over until I get chapter 200+ edited and uploaded. So I might post some of her one-shots to tide you guys over until I get PLL up and running again- if I can ever figure out my brother's scratching. Until then, enjoy. - Licia
"You will understand one day that the child growing within you is a gift. It's a gift created together by you and your husband, the joining of two souls into one body. They are perfect in every way, because they are a combination of both of you. And when you look at them, you will understand that they were given to you out of love. Always, always out of love."
Her fingers skimmed gently over the great swell of her belly, reaching down to cradle the bottom. She took a deep breath, lifting her gaze to the nightstand. The photograph of her and her mother- she must have been about ten or so- sat beside the photograph of her and her husband, his arms tight around her from behind, his lips pressing a soft kiss to the space beneath her ear. The only connection between her mother and her husband was she herself- her husband had never met the woman who'd raised her for only those few short years, and her mother had never gotten to meet the beautiful man that had made every day since she'd arrived in America worth living, who'd given her this beautiful new life now residing within her.
Tears came to her eyes; this was her mother's first grandchild- her only grandchild, for her youngest daughter had never lived to marry.
With great difficulty, she sat up, shifting until her legs hung over the side of the bed. She sighed, one hand gently brushing over the massive swell that had taken over her body. The baby shifted slightly, and she inhaled quickly; the movement not unwelcome, but uncomfortable. "I know, ahava, and I'm so sorry. I am uncomfortable, but I can only imagine how you must be feeling- with no room to move around. But you will be out soon, I promise. Just be patient a little longer."
The front door shut, and she heard Jethro's claws click on the wood floor, but didn't get off the bed. Instead, she grabbed the blankets beneath her, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly; the sound of her husband's footsteps making their way towards her. "I'm sorry I'm late, sweetheart, but Gibbs insisted-" She slowly opened her eyes, lifting her head to meet his gaze with a shaky smile.
"Tim, I-"
But before she could finish, he made his way towards her, kneeling in front of her and reaching out to untangle her hands from the blankets of their bed. "You okay, sweetheart? Is the baby all right?"
She squeezed his hand, catching his attention. "Tim, call the midwife- call Eva. Tell her to get over here as fast as possible. Tell her that I've gone into labor." He nodded, standing and turning to head into the kitchen to grab the phone, but she stopped him. "Tim." He turned back, worry in his eyes. She shook her head, giving him a small smile. "She's coming. She's finally coming." He knelt down, pressing a soft kiss to her lips before pulling away and going into the kitchen. Once he was gone, she turned back to the photograph of her mother. Anxious tears filled her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away. "Soon, Ima. Your granddaughter will be here soon."
The contractions were getting stronger.
Their midwife, Eva, had arrived, bringing what she needed to help Ziva through the birth, though not much was needed. The Israeli-born agent had opted for a home birth because of her abhor-ration of hospitals. It wasn't that she didn't think they were necessary, but it was more disgust mixed with a childish fear; her mother had gone to the hospital when Tali was born- as opposed to the home birth she'd had when Ziva was born- and both she and the baby had nearly died. But as a child, Ziva hadn't understood that the chord and high blood pressure had played a part- all she knew at that age was that she'd nearly lost both her mother and her baby sister, and it had scarred her for life. So when she'd gotten pregnant, she'd begged Tim, that no matter how much she pleaded during labor to go to the hospital, he wouldn't take her; that fear residing in the back of her mind. One look in her dark eyes, and he'd promised.
Eva quickly checked the water in the small birthing pool, and deciding it was warm enough, glanced over her shoulder, towards the young couple. Ziva leaned against her husband, head resting on his chest, arms around his shoulders. Tim held her close, one arm around her waist, the other rubbing slow circles up her back as they swayed gently to the sound of the rain outside. The lights were dimmed, only the crackling of the fire in the grate giving off bright light, but for the most part, it was dark, and in that darkness, relaxing. "Tim? Ziva? The water's ready if you want to get in."
He whispered something to her, and she nodded, pulling away and allowing him to walk her towards the small birthing pool; stopping and allowing her to squeeze his hands when a contraction grabbed her around the waist. They stood for several minutes, as Ziva dug her nails into his hands, her eyes squeezed shut, features screwed up in a contortion of pain as the contraction continued moving through her body. "Did you call them? I want them here; they need to be here to meet her-they're family."
"I called them after I called Eva, love. They're on their way." She nodded, sitting up and wrapping her arms around her belly as another contraction took hold.
In the minutes after the contraction passed, Ziva heard the front door open, followed by the scurry of small feet. "Auntie Ziva!" She plastered a smile on her face for the little girl, despite the pain her body currently found itself in. Minutes later, two women followed.
"Hey Shandy." She turned to the two women joining them. "You made it-"
"Like we'd miss the birth of your daughter?" The younger woman shook her head, quickly setting down her bag and going to her brother, wrapping him in a hug. "Hey, Timmy." He pressed a kiss to her cheek as the other woman made her way to Ziva leaning down and pressing a kiss to her cheek.
"That's my goddaughter in there, wanting to come out. Like we'd miss this for the world." She brushed a strand of hair off Ziva's forehead, before kneeling down beside the small birthing pool. "How're you doin', Mama?" The Israeli leaned her head back against the side of the pool, reaching out and taking the woman's hand.
"How did you do this, Ebony? I don't think I can." The other woman chuckled softly.
"I had a wonderful support system." She replied, glancing at Tim, who scooped Shandy into his arms and pressed a kiss to her cheek as his sister went to Ziva, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. "Besides, you're already ten times braver than me. I gave birth to Shandy at the hospital; I didn't have the guts to have her naturally." The Israeli chuckled softly, before squeezing Ebony's hand, letting out a cry as the contraction twisted every organ of her reproductive system and stole her breath away. As she relaxed, Ebony brushed a strand of hair off her cheek.
"I know it hurts, Ziva. Trust me, I've been there, but it's all worth it in the end."
"Mommy, why is Auntie Ziva in the water? Is she swimming? Can I swim with her?"
Sarah chuckled as she poured the water from the pitcher into the glass, causing the ice within to crackle. She glanced at Shandy, who was sitting on her mother's lap. Eva was checking Ziva's progress; which Ebony took as a good cue to remove Shanda from the room, even though the little girl protested fiercely, not wanting to be away from her Aunt Ziva. Sarah had followed, promising that she'd get the ice water her sister-in-law requested.
"Auntie Ziva isn't swimming, sweetheart." Ebony replied. The seven-year-old turned to her mother.
"Then what is she doing?" Her mother opened her mouth, but stopped, unsure of how to explain exactly that her favorite aunt was in the process of having a baby. However, Sarah quickly dropped in, taking over the task.
"Shandy, do you remember the party we had for Auntie Ziva and Uncle Tim a few week ago?" The child nodded; though there had been mainly adults at Auntie Ziva's baby shower, Shandy hadn't minded. She'd stuck by Ziva like glue, handing her the presents their friends and family had brought for the baby, and telling the older woman about what she'd done at school, and how she'd even let Uncle Tim help her pick out the dress for the party. Though she hadn't understood why Ziva and Tim were getting gifts- or why Ziva's belly was so big, she'd been excited to spend time with her aunt and uncle none the less. "And remember all the little dresses and toys and things Auntie Ziva and Uncle Tim got at the party?"
"But everything was too small, Auntie Sarah. None of it will fit Auntie Ziva-"
"No, it won't. But it will fit the baby." Shandy furrowed a brow.
"Baby?" Sarah nodded.
"Remember, Shanda, we talked about this?" Ebony asked, brushing a curl that had managed to escape her ponytail off her daughter's face. The child turned to her mother. "That's why Auntie Ziva is so big- she has a baby in her tummy." The girl studied her for a moment, before turning back to Sarah, confused.
"But... where did it come from?" The two women shared a glance. They had explained where babies came from, but clearly the child hadn't fully grasped the understanding yet. "And why is Auntie Ziva in the water if she isn't swimming?"
"The reason she's in the water is because she's going to have the baby, sweetheart." Sarah replied, reaching out and gently patting her goddaughter's hand.
"In the water?" Sarah nodded, as Tim entered the kitchen. He was exhausted, his nerves strained, and leaned against the island counter, taking a deep breath.
"How is she, Timmy?" He looked up, releasing a breath.
"She's in transition; Eva said it won't be long." Shandy reached for her uncle, who took the child into his arms, settling her on his hip. He looked down at the child when she pressed a kiss to his cheek.
"Hasn't fully sunk in that you're baby girl is going to be here soon, has it?" Ebony asked, as Tim brushed a kiss to her daughter's temple. He shook his head. "Don't worry, it will soon-" But before she could say anymore, Tim turned, to find Eva in the doorway, dressed in blue scrubs, her strawberry blonde hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. Tim straightened, his nerves forgotten as he handed Shanda back to her mother.
"She's ready to push, and she's asking for you, Tim." Without another word to his sisters, he moved past her, rushing to join his wife. Eva turned back to the trio. "Well, are you coming? She wants all of you in there when the baby's born."
"Even me?" Shanda asked, and Eva nodded.
"Even you." The child clapped her hands and slid off her mother's lap, rushing from the kitchen. After a moment, Ebony and Sarah followed.
"Easy sweetheart, you have to be gentle with Auntie Ziva." She looked up, feeling someone dab at her forehead. Shanda stared down at her, being careful as she wiped Ziva's forehead with a damp cloth. Swallowing, she gave the child a small smile. "Thank you, Shandy." The girl returned her smile.
"Welcome, Auntie Ziva. Do you want more?" As Ziva opened her mouth to speak, a contraction grabbed her once more, and she cried out, sitting up; the action caused Shanda to drop the washcloth and scamper back, frightened. She dug her nails into Tim's hands, after pushing the glass of ice water Sarah offered away. No matter how she longed to push, Eva had told her no, for fear she'd tear. She sat in a crouching position, taking deep breaths as each contraction came harder and faster then the last, hooking onto the the tail of each one that passed through her body as they moved the baby out of her birth canal. She whimpered, pain taking over before the natural sedative of the baby's head parting her began to take affect. She relaxed back against the pool, slowly releasing her husband's hands and sliding them up his arms. He smiled down at her, his features soft.
"I'm right here, Ziva."
"Tim-"
"The baby's started to crown, Ziva. I want you to keep breathing, no matter how much you desire to push. You don't push until the baby's head is fully out, okay? Are we clear?" The laboring woman nodded at Eva, releasing a slow breath as she reached up, brushing her fingers against her husband's cheeks. He pressed a kiss to each palm, before taking her left hand and moving down, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. He pressed a kiss to her cheek,
"You hear that, sweetheart. Our baby's crowning. Means she's gonna be here soon." Ziva nodded, glancing down at the water. She furrowed a brow, before turning to meet his gaze.
"I... I can't see it... my... my belly's in the way."
Tim chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to her head. "You're doing wonderfully, Ziva." She closed her eyes, screwing up her face as another contraction took hold-
"Ziva, do you want to feel the head?" A moment passed, before she nodded, reaching down. After several seconds, Eva gently guided her hand, and she gasped softly, turning to her husband.
"That's... that's her head. Tim, I... I can feel her head..." He kissed her gently, before she pulled away, groaning. Sarah, Ebony, Shanda and Tim watched as Eva quickly checked Ziva's progress, moving the chord out of the way.
"Ziva, honey, on this next contraction, you're going to want to push, and I want you to." The young woman nodded. "Let your body take control, it knows what to do. All you have to do is follow its guidance, okay?" At the quick nod, Eva moved to grab what she'd need for when the baby was finally born.
Ebony gently brushed the dark curls out of her eyes, humming softly. She glanced at the other woman, taking short breaths before forcing herself to take deep long ones, trying everything she could to relax and let her body do its job. The young mother gave her a small smile. "You're doing good, Ziva."
"It's... much harder... than it looks." She squeezed Ebony's hand, screwing her eyes shut as she let her body take control. Tim's best friend chuckled softly, squeezing gently in response.
"It doesn't even look easy, trust me. I've been where you are now." As the younger woman sat up, pushing, a groan escaping her throat, Ebony took the opportunity to rub her back.
"Easy, Ziva. That's it, that's a good girl. You're doing great."
"Get Tim. Ebony, get... get Tim." But she didn't move; instead, Ebony turned to see Shanda watching from the doorway. She nodded at the child, who rushed back towards the kitchen. Within minutes, her husband was back in the room, his sister following. She reached for Tim, who hurried to her.
"Shh, honey, it's okay-"
"I want you in here with me, holding me... helping me give birth to our baby... please..." He glanced at Eva, who draped a small towel over the opposite side of the pool. She raised an eyebrow.
"It's not uncommon for fathers to join their wives in the birthing pool. And nowadays, it's certainly allowed- but only if the father wants to. It's your call, Tim." A moment passed, before he quickly undressed, down to his swim trunks before joining her. Ziva, who'd shifted to her knees, spread her legs a little wider, feeling the baby continue to move. She leaned back against her husband, relieved that he'd so willingly joined her. They'd had a length discussion when they first started planning the birth, and Ziva had been adamant that he hold her as she delivered. She wouldn't take no for an answer.
After a moment, she turned, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.
She cupped the head of their baby between her legs as she rose further onto her knees, spreading her hips wider. "Do you need anything, Ziva? Ice? Some water-"
The Israeli beauty shook her head; she didn't even realize Sarah had spoken, so focused on birthing was she. She kept her eyes tightly closed, following her body's orders. A very primal, very animalistic bellow escaped her throat as she leaned forward; it was soon followed by a scream as she bore down, one that sent her husband jumping and Shanda peeking over the edge of the pool. She screamed again; something was wrong- no, not wrong, caught.
"Push, sweetheart. That's my good girl." Tim brushed a kiss to her head, and she bore down again, screaming until she went hoarse. She struggled to swallow, panting in an attempt to catch her breath, leaning back against her husband.
"Tim... it's coming... she's..." She sat up again, her body forcing her to bear down; soon, something slid out of her, and she quickly ran her fingers over it. The shoulder, that's what had been caught, the baby's shoulder. "Tim, her... her shoulders are out... she's alm-" He pressed a kiss to her head, sliding his hands down to cover hers, as he helped her guide their daughter out of her body and into the world. "I can't do this..." The sudden appearance of the fear in her eyes brought a surge of happiness to his heart.
"Yes you can, Ziva. You've been doing it for the last ten hours, even since you went into labor." She shook her head; the imminent birth of their baby suddenly scaring her to death. She wasn't fit to be a mother, wasn't fit to give birth... what kind of child would a former Mossad assassin raise? Ziva knew the answer, even if she didn't admit it to Tim:
A killer.
All a woman like Ziva would do was raise another killer, because that was all she knew-
"Don't look at me like that, Ziva. I know what's going on in your head, and you're wrong. You'll be a wonderful mother. You're already a wonderful one." He kissed her forehead. "Now come on. Our baby girl is waiting to meet us."
She nodded, swallowing her fear as she continued pushing. Minutes passed, with only the sound of Ziva's groans and grunts and primal screams breaking the otherwise exciting silence. "Tim! Oh God, Tim, catch her!" Finally, after ten hours, she felt his strong hands help her guide their daughter out of her body and into the world. Blood soon floated to the surface as they lifted their baby girl out of the water. The infant's strong cries were the sweetest music either of her parents had ever heard, and Ziva collapsed back against him as she held the baby to her chest. "Oh God, she's here. Tim, she's finally here!" They locked eyes over the baby cradled against Ziva's chest, and after a moment, Tim leaned down, catching his wife in a soft kiss.
"I'm so proud of you, Mama." He whispered, kissing her once more before turning his gaze to their daughter. "She's so beautiful... she's the most beautiful baby I've ever laid eyes on..."
"Mommy, what's that?" Slowly, the young parents tore their gazes from their daughter to Shanda, who was studying the water in the pool.
"It's the placenta, sweetie." Eva replied, quickly cutting the chord that tied the baby girl to her mother.
"What's it do?" Eva glanced at Ebony, who blushed. She'd explained this to Shanda before the baby had been born-
"It's what the baby lived in while she was in your Auntie Ziva's tummy, sweetheart."
"But... I thought Auntie Ziva's tummy was what the baby lived in." Eva chuckled; she was used to curious siblings who often asked too many questions either during or after the birth, so answering the little girl's questions was easy.
"She did, but the placenta is... it's like a blanket that protected the baby while she was in her mommy's tummy. Now that she's in the world, she doesn't it anymore." The answer seemed to appease the little girl, who stood on her toes to see the baby girl in her aunt's arms.
"She's so beautiful, Ziva. Thank you for giving her to me." She chuckled softly, watching as her husband adjusted his hold on the baby. She was only two hours old, and already, had captured her parents' hearts- not that she hadn't when she was conceived, but even more so now that she was in the world. After having checked on both mother and daughter, Eva had left, promising to see them in a few weeks for the baby's first post-natal checkup.
"You gave her to me, Tim." She replied. "I should be thanking you."
"Just as long as you hold onto her and keep her safe and love her, it shouldn't matter who gave her to who." The couple looked up at Sarah, who leaned against the door frame of their bedroom. Ziva had since been cleaned up and moved into their bedroom; with everything cleaned up and put away, one would never have known a birth had taken place just two hours before in the living room. Ebony came in, setting Shanda on the bed before taking a seat; Sarah joined them on the other side. "She's beautiful, Timmy, Ziva."
"Yeah. Who knew you two made such beautiful babies?" Ebony joked, giving Tim a big smile, as Shanda crawled closer to study the baby. "Be careful, Shandy." The girl kept her distance, watching the baby, who looked around with unfocused dark eyes. After several minutes, Sarah got up, going to her brother and sister-in-law, pressing kisses to their cheeks before leaving with a soft congratulations and promises to be by in the next couple days to help out.
Once she was gone, Ebony pulled Shanda into her arms when she saw her daughter yawn. "Come on, bug. We need to get home."
"But Mommy-"
"It's been a long day, you need a nap, and Auntie Ziva and Uncle Tim need time to get used to having a baby around." She let the little girl kiss them both, before leaning down to kiss Ziva's cheek. "She's beautiful, Tim." She pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "If you need anything-"
"We won't hesitate to call." He finished, as Ebony left, Shanda curled against her mother's shoulder, her eyes closing.
"Ebony's right, you know." Tim forced himself to look away from his daughter.
"About what?" Ziva had curled up on her side, watching her husband as he held their baby girl, the pain she'd experienced finally subsiding to a dull ache in her lower extremities. She still couldn't believe that only four short hours ago that beautiful baby girl her husband was holding had come out of her and into the world. A small part of her couldn't believe it was real. She met his gaze, reaching up to brush her fingers over her daughter's head. She pushed herself onto her elbow, taking the little girl's tiny hand in hers; the baby wrapped her hand around her mother's finger. She met her husband's gaze.
"We really do make beautiful babies together."