Author's note: This is going to be a very long fic. It's going to revolve around the life of Sollux Captor, and all the events that led up to this first chapter. It's going to be made up of a series of interconnected one-shots, each chapter jumping around in the timeline of his life.

Warning: This chapter contains character suicide and mentions self-injury. Read at your own discretion

Everything belongs to Andrew Hussie, of course.

Please don't kill me; it's my first time writing fanfiction.

Also, not all author notes will be this long.

Reviews are very much appreciated~ Evin R.

Age: 22

Total darkness at first, then keys rattling. A door unlocked and opened, and was slammed closed. A tall figure strode inside, clutching a tiny bottle in his left hand. The bottle rattled slightly as he walked over to the window and pulled the shades closed. Turning off the light of his room, he switched on a smaller bedside table flashlight instead. Silly to do that, though, when he knew what was coming up anyways.

Sollux plopped down on his bed, reaching out for his iPod that was resting on the pillow. Placing the headphones in his ears, he turned the music up as loud as it would go and lay down. Rolling over to face the ceiling, he stared at it with a blank expression. If one was to come into the room right now, they would be able to hear the music blasting from his earphones. Shit. Sollux sat up quickly and got off the bed, walking to the door with the keys in his hand. Placing it into the keyhole, he turned the key and lowered the music volume so he could listen to the click of the door lock. Sollux left the key in the lock- it ensured that no one would get in for now without help. Not even Karkat. Satisfied for the time being, he turned around and sat back down on the bed.

Turning "Caraphernelia" back up to max volume, Sollux opened the bottle he had been keeping a death grip on. Hands shaking, he poured the contents into his right palm, fingers closing on top over them, feeling the smoothness of the little pills. Sleeping pills. A bottle full, just acquired from the drugstore not even 15 minutes ago. Sollux clutched them close to him, and pulled his knees up into his chest, rocking back and forth on the small dorm room bed. He was afraid.

Afraid to admit to anyone what he was about to do. Afraid to call for help from his friends. But wait- they had told him he didn't have any. Those girls- no, that girl- told him that everyone hated him. Wanted him dead.

Before he noticed it himself, Sollux was silently crying, tears running down his face and fogging up his glasses. He had had enough of everyone. Enough of their shit. He just wanted out. These pills would help. Gamzee was a pro- he knew everything about drugs. Sollux wouldn't have imagined that he would one day be begging from Gamzee, but that's the way things turned out, and now here he was, in an isolated and empty college dorm room, sitting on the bed, holding sleeping drugs.

What a fucked-up life he led.

Taking a deep shuddering breath, Sollux slowly opened his trembling palm. They were still there. Little blue pills- barely do anything when taken alone, but together, and you're set to go.

Sollux peered down at his wrist- the bandages were coming loose, and one could see the slashes situated there, bright red and throbbing, blood crusted on. He unraveled the bandage with his free hand and let it drop to the floor. Changing the song to his favourite one on his iPod, he brought his right hand to his mouth and threw his head back, taking the pills down.

Then he started laughing.

Those fucked-up bitches got what they deserved, didn't they? They wanted him dead, well, here he was. He was going to die. Another tear slipped past his eyelashes, and soon he was crying and holding his stomach, where the beginnings of a terrible stomachache were coming.

Not even "Crawl Through Knives" could calm him down right now. So instead he lay on the bed, clutching his stomach, shoving his face into his pillow and taking deep breaths. Once or twice he had the sudden urge to vomit, but he choked it back down, forcing himself to stay awake.

Any moment now, someone would tear down the door. They would come and save him, and take him to the hospital.

No, this wasn't a fairytale. Good things didn't happen in real life- Vriska had proved that much to him already.

Sollux clutched his iPod, forcing himself to listen to the music. The music that had once made him feel good now did nothing to affect his situation. The sharp pangs of pain in his stomach were getting worse by the minute, and Sollux wondered if dying could possibly get more painful.

Just then, his phone rang.

Biting his tongue to hold back a groan of pain, Sollux forced himself to pick it up. He kept laying in a ball, however, as Karkat's voice blasted through the speakers.

"Hey, you little shit, where the fuck are you? Everyone's having fun, the party's chilling, but the second I turn my back, you ditch me? What kind of a shitty friend are you, anyways?" Karkat half-yelled because of the blasting music coming from the background.

I'm the worst friend ever thought Sollux, closing his eyes, a small whimper escaping his lips.

"Hey, Sol, you there?" Karkat asked, irritation threading through his voice.

"Y-yeah, I am..." Sollux replied shakily. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stay awake. Perhaps that was a good thing.

"Dude, I'm asking where the fuck you are." Karkat growled, and Sollux could just picture the short troll standing in a corner, with all his facial features exactly as they always are. Pissed off.

"Dorm room..." Sollux said, his voice fading a little as another cramp hit his stomach. Damn. Gamzee didn't warn him about the pain. Then again, he probably should've just known.

"Well, what the fuck are you doing there?" Karkat screamed, and Sollux grimaced, throwing the phone against the wall. His sudden movement made his brain explode, though, and he bit his tongue, but not before a small shriek was emitted.

"Sollux? What the fuck was that? Sollux? Hey, fuckass, you there? Sol? ...Sol? I'm coming up. Dude, whatever this is, it isn't hilarious. Sollux Captor. You there?" Karkat's voice came out harsh and loud from the phone speakers, and Sollux reached over and flipped it shut, ending the call abruptly.

Finally, peace and quiet. Aside from "Take This Life" playing, nothing could be heard, apart from an occasional shuddering sigh or two from the hunched up figure on the bed.

Sollux's eyes were beginning to close, and he was succumbing to the warmth that he was feeling. It felt cozy, something he hadn't felt in a very long time. It would be so easy to just fall asleep right now... Just to sleep.

So Sollux closed his eyes.

Nine minutes later, a few short knocks were heard from the door of the room. A voice yelled inside, and a rattling of keys was heard, followed by a short span of cursing when the individual realised there was no way in the room. Footsteps were head running down the hall, and a shouted instruction was followed by it. Not many minutes later, a buzzing sound was heard, and the lock popped off the door, and a short and pissed college student burst in, panting.

When Karkat saw a blue-skinned Sollux lying on his bed in a curled up position, the short male ran to the bathroom and threw up. The janitor walked in and saw the young man on the bed, and ran outside to call an ambulance.

The rest of the evening was a blur for all.