"open to suggestions"
Disclaimer: The only characters I own are Sariel, Nicole, and Lillia/Lia, and not even all of them. This is my first attempt at angst so it may not be as dramatic as I'd like. Please, onegai, por favor, s'il vous plait review, I need to know if this sucks or not, but be kind with your words.
Author's note: This takes place in the timeline after my songfic series. The indicates scene change and will let you know how much time or whatever has changed and the === indicates pov change. *iuo* is character thoughts.
July 21, AC 199
Four of the five former Gundam pilots stood at a funeral service, the only other guests were family and close friends. No one spoke, they had no words to say how much it hurt to say goodbye to their friend....
2 hours later
"I still can't believe what we did..." Duo said finishing his third beer, only the eight of them still lingered, the four remaining pilots, two girlfriends, one wife, and the widow. Trowa, holding his wife in his arms, was the first to respond, "We didn't have any other choices." Duo sneered as Hilde tried to stop him from drinking another beer, "It shouldn't have been him. And even if we had no other choice she should have joined him in death." He indicated the young woman seated two tables away from the rest of them who was still avoiding everyone. "He wouldn't have wanted that." Sariel spoke up for the first time that day, her voice hoarse from crying. Duo sighed, " No he wouldn't have... but still it was her fault. I can't believe you can all just forgive her." Nicole leaned further into Trowa's embrace, "Duo, she didn't do it intentionally, besides it's not like the rest of us had never done something to hurt him as well, yet he always forgave us. She's never going to
be forgiven by him and she has to live with that knowledge haunting her." Wu Fei joined the conversation, "True, despite all we did he would truthfully forgive us... but Lia won't ever get that." Duo chugged at his beer, finishing more than half, "I still think that if we had to kill anybody it should have been her..."
He was cut off by Heero's fist knocking him out of his chair. "Watch it Duo." Heero's tone was harsh and freezing. "I'm not gonna lie because she's your girl, when I say she deserves to be dead along with him I mean it." Duo spat as he got up and rubbed his jaw. Wu Fei drank from his glass, not bothering to look up he spoke. "Shut up Maxwell, you have no idea what she's going through." Duo snorted in contempt, "And you do?" Wu Fei looked up, "Considering I found her trying to kill herself... yes, I do know how she feels." Duo, Hilde, Sariel, and Nicole choked on their drinks, "Shit, are you serious?" Duo swore even more when Heero nodded, "Fuck, I'm sorry Heero I had no idea..." Heero cut him off, "I wouldn't have known if Wu Fei hadn't found her after her fourth attempt..." Hilde dropped her glass, "Fourth?!?!? How many times has she tried?!?" Heero looked over at Lia, "She's tried to take her own life seven times..." Another glass followed Hilde's, "How...but didn't
you...I mean...it was only three days ago...." Wu Fei shook his head answering Nicole, "She kept saying she was just in shock and that once it sank in she'd be fine, not in so many words of course." he paused and looked at Heero for permission before continuing, "Sally said that if Lia doesn't get better soon it would be best to 'place her in the care of professionals'." Trowa leaned his head against Nicole, "So basically Sally wants to commit her?" Wu Fei nodded eyes flashing with anger and regret. Duo sighed, "If I'd known that I wouldn't have opened my big mouth, I'm really sorry Heero...but I still can't believe we had to kill Quatre...."
====================
Lia winced again hearing Duo's latest comment, *Why can't they stop talking about it?* the tears welled in her eyes again, but like before they didn't fall. Sitting away from the others hadn't stopped her from hearing them talk, for the hundredth time she cursed her Preventers training. She hadn't slept since that night, what she did came back in nightmares, replaying slower, she had decided that she wouldn't even try to sleep any more. But that didn't help; Quatre's death started playing before her eyes while she was awake...the only answer she could find was death. But that failed her as well. Even if she had the strength of will to kill herself it wouldn't matter anymore, Heero and Wu Fei never left her alone long enough to try, and now the others would be on guard as well. Duo was right it was her fault, *Why couldn't I withstand it? I could have helped, I could have done something... but now Quatre's...* even in her mind her couldn't admit that Quatre was dead. Lia
folded her arms around herself and curled into the chair she was on...
Post story note: Well? Shall I continue? Or should I scrap it? Please let me know through reviews. n_n
Disclaimer: The only characters I own are Sariel, Nicole, and Lillia/Lia, and not even all of them. This is my first attempt at angst so it may not be as dramatic as I'd like. Please, onegai, por favor, s'il vous plait review, I need to know if this sucks or not, but be kind with your words.
Author's note: This takes place in the timeline after my songfic series. The indicates scene change and will let you know how much time or whatever has changed and the === indicates pov change. *iuo* is character thoughts.
July 21, AC 199
Four of the five former Gundam pilots stood at a funeral service, the only other guests were family and close friends. No one spoke, they had no words to say how much it hurt to say goodbye to their friend....
2 hours later
"I still can't believe what we did..." Duo said finishing his third beer, only the eight of them still lingered, the four remaining pilots, two girlfriends, one wife, and the widow. Trowa, holding his wife in his arms, was the first to respond, "We didn't have any other choices." Duo sneered as Hilde tried to stop him from drinking another beer, "It shouldn't have been him. And even if we had no other choice she should have joined him in death." He indicated the young woman seated two tables away from the rest of them who was still avoiding everyone. "He wouldn't have wanted that." Sariel spoke up for the first time that day, her voice hoarse from crying. Duo sighed, " No he wouldn't have... but still it was her fault. I can't believe you can all just forgive her." Nicole leaned further into Trowa's embrace, "Duo, she didn't do it intentionally, besides it's not like the rest of us had never done something to hurt him as well, yet he always forgave us. She's never going to
be forgiven by him and she has to live with that knowledge haunting her." Wu Fei joined the conversation, "True, despite all we did he would truthfully forgive us... but Lia won't ever get that." Duo chugged at his beer, finishing more than half, "I still think that if we had to kill anybody it should have been her..."
He was cut off by Heero's fist knocking him out of his chair. "Watch it Duo." Heero's tone was harsh and freezing. "I'm not gonna lie because she's your girl, when I say she deserves to be dead along with him I mean it." Duo spat as he got up and rubbed his jaw. Wu Fei drank from his glass, not bothering to look up he spoke. "Shut up Maxwell, you have no idea what she's going through." Duo snorted in contempt, "And you do?" Wu Fei looked up, "Considering I found her trying to kill herself... yes, I do know how she feels." Duo, Hilde, Sariel, and Nicole choked on their drinks, "Shit, are you serious?" Duo swore even more when Heero nodded, "Fuck, I'm sorry Heero I had no idea..." Heero cut him off, "I wouldn't have known if Wu Fei hadn't found her after her fourth attempt..." Hilde dropped her glass, "Fourth?!?!? How many times has she tried?!?" Heero looked over at Lia, "She's tried to take her own life seven times..." Another glass followed Hilde's, "How...but didn't
you...I mean...it was only three days ago...." Wu Fei shook his head answering Nicole, "She kept saying she was just in shock and that once it sank in she'd be fine, not in so many words of course." he paused and looked at Heero for permission before continuing, "Sally said that if Lia doesn't get better soon it would be best to 'place her in the care of professionals'." Trowa leaned his head against Nicole, "So basically Sally wants to commit her?" Wu Fei nodded eyes flashing with anger and regret. Duo sighed, "If I'd known that I wouldn't have opened my big mouth, I'm really sorry Heero...but I still can't believe we had to kill Quatre...."
====================
Lia winced again hearing Duo's latest comment, *Why can't they stop talking about it?* the tears welled in her eyes again, but like before they didn't fall. Sitting away from the others hadn't stopped her from hearing them talk, for the hundredth time she cursed her Preventers training. She hadn't slept since that night, what she did came back in nightmares, replaying slower, she had decided that she wouldn't even try to sleep any more. But that didn't help; Quatre's death started playing before her eyes while she was awake...the only answer she could find was death. But that failed her as well. Even if she had the strength of will to kill herself it wouldn't matter anymore, Heero and Wu Fei never left her alone long enough to try, and now the others would be on guard as well. Duo was right it was her fault, *Why couldn't I withstand it? I could have helped, I could have done something... but now Quatre's...* even in her mind her couldn't admit that Quatre was dead. Lia
folded her arms around herself and curled into the chair she was on...
Post story note: Well? Shall I continue? Or should I scrap it? Please let me know through reviews. n_n