Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from the O.C. I'm strictly borrowing them in order to bring life to my own little world. I also don't own the song "More Than Love" by Sweetbox.

Summary: Marissa and Alex have been together for 3 years, but it hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies.

More Than Love

Part 1

It was another busy night at the Bait Shop. The music blaring from the speakers created the intense energetic mood everyone longed for on a Friday night. All around, people were dancing and drinking and having fun. All, that is, but one…

Marissa sat alone in a far corner booth, mindlessly playing with her drink as her eyes stayed glued on a certain blonde girl at the bar. If anyone had spoken to her throughout the night, she wouldn't have noticed, as it was taking all her strength to even be sitting there. Yet she sat there helplessly as she stared at Alex, her girlfriend of nearly three years, serve customer after customer and openly flirting with each and every one of them. It didn't seem to matter if she had a girlfriend anymore…

Feeling her eyes starting to tear up, she gathered her things and started towards the spiral staircase. And as she reached the upper level, she slowly approached the rail and leaned over it, glancing just in time to see her girlfriend seductively running her fingers up and down some girl's arm. A tear finally made its way down her cheek as she turned around and exited the club.

It was a chilly night. Marissa had to wrap her arms around herself as she slowly walked back to the house she shared with the girl she loved dearly. It was the same one floor unit Alex had lived in before they'd met, while Marissa was still in high school. They'd only been together a few months before she'd moved in and even though the house was a bit small for two people, they'd decided it held too many memories to leave behind.

She remembered how everyone had been wary of them. How they thought they were being foolish and rushing into things. Marissa understood their concerns. After all, they'd been only seventeen and Alex, being emancipated from her parents, had to earn her own living and there were times when the rent had been paid late. But none of that mattered to Marissa. She was more then sure of her feelings for Alex and there was nowhere else she'd rather be...

Reaching her destination, Marissa reached into her purse for her keys and with a shaky hand, she managed to unlock the door. She let it open fully and turned on the light. The warmth and comfort she used to feel in this house had faded. She glanced at the ocean and how it crashed violently against the shore a couple of feet away. Its waves were as cold and empty as she felt.

She walked through the house as a stranger. The familiarity was gone as she slowly made her way along the hall and when she reached the bedroom, another tear escaped her eye as she recalled the memories they'd made in that room, all the love they'd once shared. Marissa carefully sat on the bed and ever so softly touched Alex's side. The indents on their pillows had grown farther apart and Marissa could barely recall how it felt to be held by Alex. Her tears were becoming more frequent as a chocked sob echoed through the silent house. She turned her gaze to her night table, where a single frame sat in the sole company of a beautiful music box. Her fingers grazed the small item as she thought back to her eighteenth birthday, when Alex had given it to her. She remembered the spark in Alex's eyes as she eagerly pushed her to open it, only to reveal a beautiful heart shaped necklace inside. The same necklace Marissa still wore around her neck. She turned her attention to the frame and a small smile appeared on her face as she gazed lovingly at the picture of her and Alex happily wrapped in each other's arms. Another throaty sob was heard as she picked it up and held it as firmly as she could in her trembling hands. She couldn't hold back the tears any longer as she gently traced the figure with her fingertips.

She knew this was it.

Wiping the tears from her eyes with forced determination, Marissa stood up and walked to the closet. She pulled out a suitcase and placed it on the bed. Knowing she didn't have long until Alex finished work, she hurriedly started pilling her stuff into the bag. Once the suitcase was full, she grabbed a duffle bag and threw in the last of her possessions, including the photograph and the music box. She knew there was no turning back as she carried the bags across the threshold and into the living room. With a final glance around the place she once called home, Marissa turned off the lights and closed the door, leaving behind nothing but a letter on the coffee table with her keys on top.

And as her broken sobs faded with the wind as she drove further into the night, the words she'd just written echoed in her mind…

My dearest Alex,

I know your dreams and I know your cries… each breath I've memorized… And I would do anything to help you win your fight. But it's not enough to make you smile. It's never enough, but what more can I give?

I see the searching in your eyes and I feel helpless by your side. So many spaces I can't fill, but God knows how hard I try. You say you need more and I die inside. You always need more, but what more can I give?

More then love? More then this? More then what's in these two hands?

More then love… more then me??

No matter what I do it's never good enough for you!

I'm trying to be everything that you need. I'm barely breathing and you're still not happy. After all that I've done, all I've become, it's never good enough for you.

For what's more than love? Tell me what's more than love. Tell me what's more than this. What is it that you need that I can never be? Tell me what's more than love… Tell me what's more than me. Cause I can't give more than I am.

I'm sorry.

- Marissa.

A/N: This fic is quite old, but it's my first complete story. If there's any interest, I'll post the rest.