A/N: So...I dunno. I was re-reading Capitulate and The Tragic Hero, and well, I was inspired. Sasuke probably sounds weird, but hey. It's fanfiction. And it's also pretty hard to get into that guy's head. Agreed? Agreed. This is my fist one-shot. I'm so proud of myself.
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An Avenger's Version of Love
(i. the official version)
The dictionary definition of love is as follows: Fondness, warm affection, paternal benevolence.
You suppose you can understand this explanation; you yourself have felt it (even though it's been so many years since you last did). Warm affection and fondness is what your mother bestowed on you as a child, and you gave it back in spades. It was the same with the old Itachi—the one no longer exits. But you realize now that Mikoto's love for you falls into another category.
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(ii. the true version)
It is this version of the word (emotion, feeling) that, try as you might, you cannot fully grasp. This level, this upgrade from "warm affection" to something far beyond reason and logic, frightens you. Because you—the cold, cynical, sadistic, masochistic, vengeful, lost avenger—cannot feel this kind of love.
This is the kind of love that drives Naruto to the brink of death in a battle for Konoha, that makes Kakashi tardy every single morning (it's the Shinobi Memorial. He didn't see you, and you said nothing), that shakes both the Hyuuga prodigy and the Weapons Mistress when Rock Lee lies unconscious in the hospital. This is the love your mother had for you.
This love is the tricky one; the bonding one. It's poured into the mind, body, and soul. It's justification for the actions you don't understand; they're the fight in the battles that are already lost; the ones that defy reason—the hopeless ones. Like...hers.
It is because of this love, her love that Sakura finds you alone in the dead of night, all those years ago. Love reduces the kunoichi to tears as she pleads with you, begs you to stay. Or at least, to take her with you. But of course...you cannot.
You cannot return her feelings, nor can you bear to damage the purest, most fragile, and most beautiful thing you have left.
(Although, you come to understand soon after that Sakura is not so easily broken anymore...)
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(iii. the first version)
And the final form of love is the one you tolerate—and miss—the most. The simplistic one, that is perhaps better described and better known as friendship.
Friendship is what you shared (grudgingly) with the members of your ex-team, but with them it probably ran deeper. They cared for you. Not the sad, orphaned, lone survivor of a historic massacre, but you: Uchiha Sasuke, shinobi of the Hidden Leaf Village. Kakashi taught you, Naruto bettered you, and Sakura...kept you human.
They showed you what it meant to belong again, how to function and manage in a group of people you didn't (at the time) necessarily like. They displayed this love not only to you, but to others and each other as well. When Sakura bought daisies for an injured "youthful flame of Konoha"...
...When Kakashi's wallet was emptied covering (a broke) Naruto's enormous ramen intake...
...When both Sakura and the dobe stood in line for hours, saving their sensei's place in line for that disgusting book he always read...
It pains you unexpectedly, to think of all this now.
And the worst part of it is, even after all this time; after you abandoned the people who cared—who loved you—the most, after you hurt them, they did not give up. Naruto called you his best friend (your initiation) and teammate long after you had gone, challenging anyone who dared say that going after you was a waste of time. As for Sakura, she trained, got stronger, pushed herself to the point of collapse, just to bring you back.
Sometimes you wished that the pair of them would just stop, give up, and leave you to your revenge. This of course is impossible, and you know it. So there was no point in trying to dissuade them. Trying to kill them got the message across better anyway. Still, those two never stopped, never gave up, and refused to let you break the bonds that connect you.
Now, four years have passed since Naruto first promised Sakura your safe return, and broke that promise. But this time he made it up. Dawn breaks as you walk (forced, obviously) towards the gates of Konohakagure, and a slim figure approaches. The darkness of the night fades from your sight, and there is Sakura, just as you figured she'd be.
She's different now. (The first indication being she hasn't thrown herself at you, and the second being all the knowledge and understanding she's gained in the past years, shining in her eyes).
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(iv. an avenger's version)
You wish that she could understand, that Naruto could understand, that it is something like warm affection that delivered the blow rendering her unconscious, and even the mortal strike to him that you didn't make. You wish you could come up with the words to tell them what it is—why it is these things did or did not happen.
Perhaps you had grown fond of them. Maybe you still are.
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Author's Note: I wish it could have been longer...but nothing. So, what are the thoughts on my first one-shot ever?
Please review!
Annie